


Four Walls

by yutae127



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-13 22:20:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 50,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9144772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yutae127/pseuds/yutae127
Summary: Taeyong isn't exactly happy about the new dorm room assignments.





	1. 1

it's just long ass fic.....i don't know happy new year yutae :D

 

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"Johnny!"

 

 

Taeyong knocks again, his knuckles turning red from the continuous thumping on the hard wood for awhile now. Taeil from the next room chides him to stop already but nothing can stop Taeyong and his persistence.

 

 

"Youngho! Seo Youngho!"

 

 

He's been trying to maintain all his calm and has all the urge to kick at the door when it swings open, a grimacing Ten showing up. Taeyong notes the earphones hanging from the other's neck and fights all his urge to roll his eyes and say a word.

 

 

"What? He's not here." Ten scowled at him.

 

 

A playful smirk turn up on Ten's face and Taeyong knew he's up to say something so he turned around. With an irritated sigh, Taeyong make sure Ten hears it. Leaving the younger without a word. There are so much more to deal with than just someone of less importance.

 

 

 

It's been a hell of a week and Taeyong didn't expect his first year high school to start roughly. Middle school was all fun and games. Johnny, the one he believes responsible for all his stress and exasperation , has been avoiding him for a talk. Taeyong regrets all his thirst for a sophisticated and unstained school dorm, sure it was given to him but with a pretentious incubus for a roommate.

 

 

It's all Johnny's fault for being too nosy. Taeyong never quite understood why Johnny has to keep his nose on other's business. Sure it was weird that he doesn't get along with Yuta Nakamoto, since they've been in this one circle of friends for almost four years now. But Taeyong doesn't see any problem regarding it. It's not like they engage in brawling or unsympathetic arguments, they just don't talk and that's everything about it. Kun describes him not only a picky eater but also picky with who to get along with. It's not just Yuta anyway but Johnny always snarls at him about it.

 

 

 

 

Taeyong spent his vacation back in Seoul and Yuta was in the new dorm a month earlier for his tryout at the football team.

His back still hurts from scrubbing all the shoe dirt and sanitizing the smell of sweat odor on his shared room with Yuta but Taeyong would rather not rest than deal with his roommate. Taeyong isn't exactly one to loiter in and out of other's room but all these situations leaves him no choice and he found himself knocking in on Jaehyun's room again.

 

 

"I'm coming in." He says, walking in.

 

 

An awkward silence fell in the room when he found Doyoung sitting pretty on the bed, eyes focused on the basketball game he's watching and didn't even spared him a glance. Taeyong hears sound from the kitchen that could be Jaehyun but he had no idea how to cross the small path from the bed and T.V to avoid blocking Doyoung's view. Taeyong didn't come here to hear crap.

 

 

"Hyung! Is that Taeyong hyung?" Jaehyun shouts from the kitchen.

 

 

Doyoung sideeyes him in a flash and mouths a loud "Ah." Followed with the annoying sound of him chewing a gum.

 

 

"Taeyong hyung, I'm making lunch. Do you mind wait---"

 

 

"It's okay. I'll go." Taeyong says, turning back, hands already on the knob. "Just text me when you're not busy."

 

 

"What are the two of you going to do, Jaehyun?" Doyoung calls out.

 

 

Rolling his eyes, Taeyong heard Jaehyun explaining to Doyoung about their plan on having Naruto series marathon. He escapes the room immediately. Another person he doesn't want to deal with, Doyoung. Jaehyun knows it too.

 

 

When Taeyong walked on their floor's lobby, he knew it was formidable already when he saw Donghyuk holding a mic having his concert again. Their younger friends are there too, watching the petty performance, including Winwin and Hansol. Renjun raised his hand and signals him if he wants to join but Taeyong hastily shook his head.

 

 

Back to the hallway, Taeyong should've just agreed when Kun and Mark invited him to come to their school's swimming pool and relax. With an aching soul, Taeyong enters his room and just as he expected, smelly socks inside the dirty shoes just behind the door welcomes him. Ignoring the look his roommate is giving him, his hand automatically reaches to the wet socks and his face contorts at the loss of dignity, throwing it to Yuta's laundry basket just beside the shoe racks. If he can do it in a millisecond, why can't Yuta?

 

 

Taeyong mouthed a cuss when he stepped on a used, wet probably from sweat, shirt scattered on the floor.

 

 

Yuta, on his own bed, groaned at him. Shirtless and scratching at his hair.

 

 

Taeyong watches Yuta hurriedly gets up , picking the shirt and throwing it to the basket. His head cringed when Yuta missed, and he mutters unmindful, " I have a pig for a roommate."

 

 

"Hey, that was uncalled for." Yuta deemed, offended. He was about to jump back to his bed but he froze.

 

 

"Your face is uncalled for!" Taeyong snarled at him, stepping back right after he said it. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see Yuta's reaction or most likely afraid to hear what Yuta's retort might. Besides, they haven't speak this much words to each other.

 

 

Taeyong withdraws, turning back to the door he just entered a while ago. His hand is already gripping the nob, but he chose to slam his head on the door instead. "There's nowhere else to go." He muttered.

 

 

It's horrifying enough that he sits beside Yuta Nakamoto in class on weekdays, but to even have to deal with him on weekends is making Taeyong sick to his stomach. It's only in the middle of Saturday and he's only faced Yuta for a minute and he's already this thrown off. All he wanted was a good sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yuta isn't exactly familiar to the feeling of someone evidently casting him out. Last week, he was startled to see Taeyong carrying his luggage walked in his room. It was weird since he already planned to room with Ten and Doyoung for this school year. The other bed is big enough for two people and those two can deal with that. But he guesses none of their plans are going to happen.

 

 

Even so, Yuta is fine to room with anyone. But anyone sort of doesn't include Taeyong. Back then, he thought Taeyong was only cold because Yuta is the new friend who just came from Japan. Not everyone would want to deal with him and his broken Korea. That went on for a long time. Yuta believing he's casted out by someone and it's unavoidable because he came a year late. Yet came Winwin and Kun who hardly knows Korean, unlike Yuta who's confident with his, Taeyong seemed to be affable with them. Yuta stopped thinking why Taeyong dislikes him 2 years ago. Also, Yuta isn't the type to be friendly with anyone, being reserved and quiet that he is, unless they approach him first. But there's always a room for trying.

 

 

Coming out from the long shower, Yuta almost laughed at the sight of Taeyong curled up under a blanket and he's sure the other wasn't even sleeping judging from the movement of his toes. Taeyong looks like an ice prince with his stoic expression, but he's just sloppy and moody. Also, Yuta just learned recently that Taeyong is so fretful too.

 

 

Suddenly realizing he's just in his towel, Yuta dash through his desk to pick his clothes and ran back to the restroom. He was used to living alone and forgets he has a roommate that almost seen him a little too naked.

 

 

Yuta made sure he's all set and fresh the second time he got out of the shower. Ten is at the first floor of the dorm's lobby already waiting for him. Sending his friend a quick text that he's on his way, Yuta leaves his room and took the stairs when the elevator was occupied.

 

 

It's the first time he and Ten are going to hang out after two months vacation and a week of busy start of school year. Yuta was too immersed for tryout since he's really keen on joining the soccer team, same with Ten who's training for the school's dance team. Even Doyoung is preoccupied with his audition at the school's theatro with Jaehyun.

 

 

When Yuta reaches down the lobby, he saw Ten on a couch with probaby a cup of strawberry yogurt the other likes so much. As he expects, the other didn't even flinch at his presence and Yuta sat on the other couch. There were other students and Yuta didn't want to block the view from the movie on the the TV screen they're watching.

 

 

"I heard that's a good show." Yuta comments.

 

 

"Legend of the blue sea?" Ten pffted, rolling his eyes even.

 

 

Yuta felt concious at the other students who are listening to them now so he pulled Ten outside. The dormitory is just one street away from their school and the tall buildings can be seen from where they're standing just in front of the dorm.

 

 

"Man you ditched me last night." Yuta lightly punched him on the shoulder.

 

 

"Oh." Ten laughed. "Johnny has everything stuck on our fridge. No need for me to go out for snacks anymore."

 

 

"No coffee for you, though."

 

 

"Yeah that's the problem." Ten groaned. "Where's Doyoung? Is he out with Jaehyun again? What's with him always choosing Jaehyun over us, it hurts."

 

 

Chuckling, Yuta receives a kick on his knee. "Why do I feel like all of your "it hurts" whenever Doyoung is with Jaehyun is leading somewhere."

 

 

"Wow, Yuta I told tou not to watch that anime."

 

 

"Which one?"

 

 

"Yuri on Ice."

 

 

Yuta made an 'o' face. "I never watched it." He says, trying not to look defensive now that Ten is cracking a funny face at him.

 

 

"Your new roommate, though." Ten laughed. Yuta and Taeyong as roommates is such a very sarcastic idea. Johnny probably had do to with the room assignments to put on a show for all of them.

 

 

Yuta has no say, only scratching the back of his head. He's had enough shit from Doyoung about this already, not from Ten too. He really should've considered Jeno's suggestion of trading rooms with Jaemin.

 

 

"Are the two of you, like, buddies now?" Ten laughs again. Teasing Yuta on this matter is always funny to him.

 

 

Yuta groaned. "Man, he's like my exes on period. He's so hot----"

 

 

"Oh." Ten feigned surprised.

 

 

"Headed. Hot headed, Ten." Yuta scowled, earning another laughter from the other. It's seeming like Ten and Doyoung won't let him live this whole school year and it's just the beginning of Yuta's misery.

 

 

"Hey, Wendy!"

 

 

Ten waved frantically at the two girls who were walking by on the other side of the road. Yuta watches him in awe. There's only two types of him, either Ten throwing shades at everyone, or him being jolly around girls.

 

 

"Who's the other one?" Yuta asked Ten as the two girls passed by them.

 

 

"Kang Seulgi? She dyed her hair, I think."

 

 

"Suits her." Yuta comments, biting at his lower lip.

 

 

Ten laughed again, leaning on the fences with and sports a deadpan look. "Go upstairs and tell Taeyong you think his girlfriend is hot. I'll wait here."

 

 

Yuta makes a move to hit on his friend but he hesitated, instead threw his hands in the air this time, not wanting to hurt his friend. Ten had to mention Taeyong every time. But he guesses Ten shall quit his mocking if Yuta feigns impervious to all it. Knowing Ten, he always like the unnecessaries.

 

 

"If Doyoung doesn't come down in 5 minutes we'll go without him." Yuta says, crossing his hands across his chest and leaning on the fence with Ten.

 

 

"Let's just go. Gan jang Ge jang isn't gonna taste any less hell without him anyway." Ten hissed, yawning. "Ah, he's wasted such a good opportunity of me treating."

 

 

Yuta reads the message on Ten's phone the other is reaching out for him to see --- Jaehyun made a meal. Go on without me. "The D on his Doyoung stands for ditch."

 

 

"You mean dick."

 

 

Ten barged ahead and Yuta followed him with a grin.

 

 

"But hey, are you treating?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It would've felt glorious to lie on his bed on a large, warm and cozy room. If only the dresser of his roommate don't have clothes picking out of the drawers in sight. Or the off-putting unkempt bed. Just thinking about how he had to deal with this abhorrence for the whole year makes him sick to his stomach.

 

 

Taeyong jumps a little when he heard a hard knock from the door. Yuta just left a few minutes ago and he can't be back already. Taeyong just wants sometime alone. Dragging his feet to the door, Taeyong was surprised it was Johnny grinning wide at him.

 

 

"What? Not happy to see me?" Johnny pursed his lips, following Taeyong inside the room who just turned his back on him.

 

 

Taeyong sat back on his bed with hunched shoulders. If it was earlier, he'd sure give Johnny the hell he deserves.

 

 

"Have you seen Seulgi's new hairstyle. She looks so---"

 

 

"Of course." Taeyong snorts. "She'd sent me a pic immediately after it was done. In the salon."

 

 

Johnny retaliates with a subtle, "Ah."

 

 

"Did you ran out of jokes that you made him my roommate?"

 

 

Taeyong's expression and the serious tone of his voice took Johnny's unawares. "I told you it really wasn't me. The room assigment given list was just followed."

 

 

A breathy sigh left Taeyong's mouth. This time, Johnny wasn't laughing and it could be true. He's been fretting over everything and blames Johnny. It had to be only a bad luck.

 

 

"Are you joining a club this year, finally?" Johnny asked, looking around the room. It's a funny scene. Taeyong's side of the room is diligently organized. While the other, Yuta's, is full of clutter.

 

 

"No thanks." Taeyong shooks his head frantically.

 

 

"Come on, Taeyong. You dance so well. Hansol and Winwin will join with Ten." Johnny coaxed.

 

 

"My back always hurts. I don't wanna hold back anyone. I'd rather stay in the kitchen with Jaehyun." Taeyong talks fast.

 

 

"Then let's have a dinner altogether tonight. You cook for us." Johnny suggest, enthusiast.

 

 

He nods slowly. "Let me nap for a bit."

 

 

"Sure. I'll message everyone to go home at 8 o'clock."

 

 

"But could you get me a coffee when you get back wherever is it you're going?" Taeyong smiles bashful. Johnny never liked coffee and hates going to coffee shops but he couldn't say no to Taeyong.

 

 

"Did you two fight?"Johnny asked, worried.

 

 

Taeyong drops his shoulders, shaking his head hesitantly.

 

 

"But are you two dating now, though? When are you two going to tell us anything?" Johnny cocks his head and leans on the wall. Waiting for Taeyong to say something.

 

"There's nothing going on between us." Taeyong denies and looks completely convinced with his answer, confusing Johnny.

 

 

"A guy and a girl can't be bestfriends without feelings involved." Johnny pressed.

 

 

"Well of course I love her and she loves me but...It's not what you're thinking." Taeyong groaned. He's had enough of this question from everybody.

 

 

"But you two look so good together!" Johnny says, dramatic.

 

 

"What do you expect from two good looking beings?"

 

 

"Oh, alright." Johnny stood straight, making his way to the door. "Later, okay." He says, and slams the door shut.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The nap took longer than he thought but Taeyong was glad Hansol and Kun already did the groceries for tonight's dinner. At the huge kitchen on their floor, Taeyong stood there alone, still trying to pull himself out of sleep. He refused Jaehyun and Donghyuk's help insisting he can do it alone.

 

 

"Hyung, you're so sloppy." Jaemin, who was grabbing a bottle of juice in the fridge, tells him when he hears Taeyong dropped the knife on his foot.

 

 

"It happens to everyone in the kitchen." Taeyong retaliates, sighing in relief that he's wearing fluffy indoor shoes and didn't get cut on his toes.

 

 

Jaemin chuckles at his retort. "But hyung, Jeno hates spicy foods. You should make a sweet one and seperate the sauce."

 

 

"Oh, I was thinking of mixing them. Thanks for reminding me, I want everyone to enjoy the food." Taeyong smiled at him, stirring the sauce in the pan he just sprinkled with spicy seasonings.

 

 

There was loud scream in their floor's lobby, probably from Mark and a loud laughter of Donghyuk erupts. "And cheese, hyung!" Jaemin reminds him, running outside.Their younger friends that are now middle schoolers are grown ups but still enjoys playing and are the major sources of noise. They've been troubled about this matter from the previous dorm they've stayed in and it wouldn't be surprising if the same mishap occurs again. He'd never understand why the kids love Karaoke even.

 

 

"Hyung, are you finished?" Jaehyun asked, dashing to where Taeyong was standing in front of stove. He leans in, sniffling. "Smells good. Why did you make two pans?"

 

 

"Jaemin told me to seperate sweet from spicy." Taeyong says, reaching out for a spoon. He scoops from the sweet pan and the other, estimating the equal amount and feeds it to Jaehyun.

 

 

Jaehyun let's out a satisfied groan when he felt his tongue craving for another taste. "Taeyong hyung, you're really good at this! Is it done sooner? I'll set the plates outside."

 

A smile dangled at the corner of Taeyong's lips. "Do that. Prepare the coke too."

 

 

"Aye captain!" Jaehyun chimes, patting Taeyong a little too hard on the shoulders.

 

 

Taeyong gasped and slumped his shoulders. "Okay...."

 

 

He waits for another five minutes and transferred the sauces into two bowls. Sprinkling a pinch of pepper on both. He placed them on a tray and wash the used utensils first before he carried them to the dining table outside. The others are already seated and Jaemin and Jaehyun cheered upon seeing him.

 

 

"Finally, real pasta. Real food." Kun says dreamily.

 

 

"Is it not called spaghetti?" Winwin asked, eyeing the sauce.

 

 

"Isn't that the same thing?" Johnny intervenes. He stood up to help Taeyong distribute the macaroni on the table plates. Knowing too well that the others have no sense on stuffs like this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yuta, Ten and Doyoung enters the room right before they start eating.

 

 

Yuta, though, never missed the way Taeyong's smiley face turned into a sullen look upon their entrance. He looks at Doyoung and Ten but it's seeming like he's the only one who noticed such a disdaining demonstration undoubtedly meant for them. Yuta must have gotten used to it since it's been happening from his first year with them, but being brush-off for uncertain reason makes him intrigued. Sometimes hurt, even. As much as he'd want a clear discussion with Taeyong regarding this, he'd most probably be ignored. It didn't matter for a long time, but having to seat beside him in class everyday and being roommates even, worries Yuta a lot.

 

 

"Oh, you guys are here." Hansol greets them with a toothy smile.

 

 

"Yeah I think so too." Ten responds, earning a glare from Johnny. Not only that, Yuta hits him on the chest too and he starts making the harrassed face again.

 

 

Yuta felt so left out when Doyoung and Ten chose their seats in the huge table already, leaving him behind. The kids are sitting beside one another, and Taeil who probably witnessed his confusion, laughs and stood up.

 

 

"Take this seat Yuta." Taeil says, moving over to Johnny.

 

 

A sigh of relief left Yuta's mouth but Doyoung doesn't even look pleased that Yuta is sitting beside him.

 

 

"Eat without me!" Taeyong shouts from the kitchen.

 

 

"What is he doing?" Ten asked no one particular.

 

 

"I'm sure he forgot to wash one plate. Or one spoon. Or there's a .2cm stain in the table." Jaehyun shrugs.

 

 

"Let's eat. I'm so hungry." Donghyuk says.

 

 

"Let's wait for Tae--- he's still in the... kitchen." Yuta stammers, regretting immediately why he even spoke because everyone is looking at him now.

 

 

"Who's still in the kitchen?" Ten ask him, piercing onto Yuta with his usual sarcastic and unrelenting stare.

 

 

Yuta looks at him bug eyed and slacked jaw.

 

 

"You can't eat without Taeyong?" Ten asked again, earning an eruption of laughter from everyone in the table except for Yuta. "Taeyong hyung. Hurry up! Yuta can't eat without you!"

 

 

A sour look made it's way on Yuta's face, ignoring the attention everyone is giving him. He opts to play with the fork instead, pricking at the macaroni. It would've been the first time he would mention Taeyong's name but it felt so unfamiliar in his tongue that he came to a halt.

 

 

"What did you say?" Taeyong comes out of the kitchen, drying his hand with a tissue. He doesn't seem like he's anticipating any answer when he sat sloppily on his chair, almost falling even.

 

 

"Careful." Doyoung tells him, and Taeyong hummed in return.

 

 

Yuta is certain Taeyong loathes the three of them. Always keeping his distance whenever and wherever necessary. But Yuta couldn't quite grasp as to why is Taeyong in bantering terms with Ten, and Yuta noticed his slight attempts of talking to Doyoung. Yet, Taeyong treats him like a complete air and it doesn't make any sense. And due to this circumstances, Taeyong makes Yuta feel so strained and uneasy. Like there's a need for Yuta to feel careful whenever he's around.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Jaehyun's taste better but this isn't so bad." Doyoung barbs in the silent table.

 

 

At the comment, Taeyong's eyes narrows into crinkled slits and feigns ignorance. Doyoung shouldn't be saying that if his plate is almost empty and if he isn't continuously nibbling. Taeyong guesses it's another way of his mocking so he finds his calm at that.

 

 

He scans everyone in the table and was pleased that they're all eating well, shoveling spoonfuls into their mouths. Taeyong can simply relate after their one week dilemma of bad food at the dorm's buffet. Taeyong supposes they should do this more often and he could ask Jaehyun for help.

 

 

His heart, though, sank a little when glanced at Yuta. Offended that the other's food is untouched. Is he angry because I called him a pig? Taeyong wonders.

 

 

"Why aren't you eating, Taeyong hyung?" Jisung asked him.

 

 

"Ah...I can't eat the food I make."

 

 

"Tae hyung is really weird." Mark chuckled, receiving a glare from Donghyuk.

 

 

"I've read it somewhere. If you make a food, you anticipate how it's gonna taste like, and you get to smell while you're making it. So you become less hungry for it." Renjun tells Taeyong.

 

 

"Oh!" Jaehyun gasped. "Then the next time we do this, I'll cook so you can eat with us."

 

 

Doyoung was the one who responded with a hum. "That's because his cooking is so great, he can eat the food he makes. And watch Renjun's scientific theory go down the drain."

 

 

"Oh." Taeyong rolled his eyes.

 

 

"Why aren't you eating, Yuta?" Hansol asked him.

 

 

"We ate crabs. I'm still full."

 

 

"You should try, hyung! It tastes good." Jaemin tells Yuta, almost scowling at the wasted opportunity for tasting tonight's dinner.

 

 

"But didn't you say you were hungry when we were in the elevator?" Ten digs.

 

 

Yuta stared at him wide eyed. He never said that. Ten is up to poke fun of him again but it's such a wrong timing now that the other subject of his joke is around. Shaking his head, Yuta picked up the fork when,

 

 

"You don't have to eat if you don't want to." Taeyong tells him.

 

 

Startled at that, Yuta lazily pricks at the macaroni. Ignoring the look everyone in the table is sending him. "No, I'll eat it. I'm hun---"

 

 

"Don't have to force yourself. I didn't make it for you anyway."

 

 

"Oh.." Yuta snorted, scratching the back of his neck. He dropped the fork on the table and stood up.

 

 

Taeyong sits straight. His body stiffened at Yuta's sudden combustion.

 

 

"You're right. You didn't make it for me." Yuta huffed, shaking his head and dragging his feet quickly to leave the room.

 

 

Taeyong didn't quite catch what Yuta said. He opens his mouth to say something, but he froze in his seat and watches Yuta left the room in awe. Everyone in the table was quiet as well. He looked at Johnny who looks rather pleased. As though he accomplished something that Taeyong and Yuta talked to each other on his face, if that was even considered a conversation.

 

 

"What the hell, Yuta." Doyoung claps his hands, laughing.

 

 

"Is he going to cry?" Ten ask out loud, for Yuta to he hear.

 

 

Exactly, this is why Taeyong dislike them. The kindest word to describe them is asshole. Who would want to hang around with them? Of course, the another asshole who is Yuta. All Taeyong wants is to keep Jaehyun away from them so he doesn't get infected with their nasties. Specifically Doyoung because if he doesn't get on your nerves, it's considered a talent.

 

 

"That was mean."

 

 

Johnny comments with knitted brows. But Taeyong could've sworn he was smirking awhile back. The atmosphere is now tense in the table and Taeyong wonders if their younger friends are still enjoying the food or simply trying not to pay attention to hyung matters. His question was answered though, when Donghyuck burped.

 

 

"Thanks for the meal." He says, in Japanese.

 

 

"Should we follow Yuta hyung, though?" Jeno asked Jaemin who looks just as confused.

 

 

"He's fine." Doyoung pats his back. "He ate two crabs in 10 minutes that he threw up."

 

 

"So he isn't feeling well." Hansol says, concern. "I'll make him a hangover soup."

 

 

"We didn't drink!" Doyoung says, defensive when Jaehyun looks at him. "I swear."

 

 

"Where did you three went, though?" Taeil asked them.

 

 

"I forgot." Ten shrugs.

 

 

Taeyong could've sworn he has one too many reasons to dislike this group of three. Not that he's nice himself, he isn't the Hansol type, but Taeyong at least knew and makes use of the word respect. It seems like those three have long forgotten that the word even exists. Jaehyun's closeness to Doyoung really concerns him.

 

 

"I got Yoon Oh a new flash drive too." Doyoung announced, handing the small device from his shirt pocket to Jaehyun.

 

 

"You didn't need to call me that." Jaehyun scowled, although laughing.

 

 

"It's so cute."

 

 

"Are you two done flirting?" Johnny asked them.

 

 

Taeyong looks at Johnny in disbelief. If it wasn't Ten who puts malice on everything, it's Johnny. He never shut up over little things like skinship which should be normal to everyone of them since they've been friends for years. The others basically ignore Johnny though. And that had Taeyong thinking if Johnny being malicious is the problem, or himself for being problematic.

 

 

"But hey, you just made Yuta walk out on you." Ten tells Taeyong. Still digging in the topic.

 

 

And suddenly, it sinks in. Was he too mean? Taeyong wonders. If he's not in good terms with Yuta, he should be careful with his words. Yuta most likely got offended when he called him a "pig" earlier but Taeyong guesses if it was Johnny he called that, he wouldn't even flinch.

 

 

"Well I--,I." Taeyong snorts. What is there to say.

 

 

"Apologise to him. You were mean!" Doyoung tells him with a laugh.

 

 

Taeyong looks at Johnny again, but the other is just pretending he was busy with his empty plate. Drawing circles on the leftover sauce with his fork. Taeyong wanted Johnny to be his bestfriend when Seulgi isn't around, to be the person who he tells all his worries to, but Johnny thinks otherwise. Johnny could've stand up for him and at least tell Doyoung that Yuta was mean too.

 

 

"I'm older than him." Taeyong tries to defend.

 

 

"By three months?" Ten furrowed his brows.

 

 

"Really?" Taeyong asked. If he's only older than Yuta by three months, that means they're born on the same year. Wasn't Yuta born the same year as Doyoung and Ten? Taeyong wonders.

 

 

"Even so, doesn't allow you any privilege to chew him out. I understand that two of you don't get along, but was it necessary for you to tell him off?"

 

 

Taeyong bows his head, he couldn't look at anyone now. He didn't have to look up to know that Doyoung, Ten, Johnny and Taeil are controlling their laughter. If Hansol has a problem other than being too nice that's a little too close to being gullible, he gets emotionally worked up. It's the exact reason why Donghyuk is avoiding him now.

 

 

"It's fine. It's not like Yuta is offended, Hansol hyung."

 

 

Taeyong hears Ten says. He flinched when he felt a soft kick on his foot, and he looks up to Doyoung who cocked his head a little and gestures him to leave.

 

 

"I'll wash the dishes. Bring in your plates if you're finished."

 

 

Taeyong announced, standing up and making his way back to the kitchen. With a heavy shoulders, he heaves a sigh once he was alone. Beginning to wash the plates when he heard Jaehyun followed him.

 

 

"I'll help you." Jaehyun offers, carrying the plates.

 

 

"Okay, thank you." Taeyong moves aside, washing his hands.

 

 

"Don't overthink it." Doyoung tells Taeyong and joins them. "The last time I felt concern for Yuta, I didn't."

 

 

"Hyung, what are you saying?" Jaehyun looks back to where Doyoung is standing near the fridge and laugh.

 

 

Taeyong watches them. It's not the first time Hansol scolded him, there were worse events than this. There was one time even when Hansol caught him mocking Seulgi, it was bestfriends thing, but Hansol lectures him in front of the class and all Taeyong could do was hide himself in embarrassment until Seulgi told Hansol that they were just playing around. Or that one time when Taeyong kicks Donghyuk in the ass for being too loud in the library, Hansol gets back on him by pinching his ears, asking Taeyong what it felt like to be tortured by someone older. Taeyong had to convince him it wasn't "torture" and that he only wanted to discipline Donghyuk, for two hours. Although what happened this time, Taeyong is sure it's just Hansol and his special favors towards Yuta.

 

 

Now it's different, though. Probably because they all know that Taeyong and Yuta aren't buddy-buddy, and distant, even. This is the first time that Doyoung, someone he considers a foe, tries to coax him.

 

 

"Yuta is so nice. Ten never hold back on kicking him around." Doyoung says. He held back what else he had in his mouth when he saw Taeyong looking at him with judgmental look, he moves forward to help Jaehyun on the sink and pushing Taeyong away.

 

 

"He is." Jaehyun agrees, nodding vigorously for Taeyong to see.

 

 

Taeyong guesses it's their way to cajole him into thinking that he didn't hurt Yuta and to butter up what Hansol just said. To not make him feel bad about what just happened. Taeyong must've really looked guilty about it that it shows on his face. But Taeyong believes he isn't guilty at all. So, Doyoung has this kind of sense in him? He thought.

 

 

"Yuta hyung is so quite. I get it why Ten likes to make fun of him." Jaehyun muses.

 

 

"He never tells us anything, either." Doyoung tells him. "But it's fine, he talks to Jaemin and Mark about his worries."

 

 

"But the two of you are his bestfriends. Doesn't he trust you?" Taeyong finds himself intruding.

 

 

He doesn't know anything about Yuta. And he even only found out today that they were born in the same year. Yuta is made up in his head by the saying; "You are who your friends are.", and his friends are Doyoung and Ten so that tells a lot about him. Taeyong doesn't really know Yuta. Generally, he is quiet. He's been classmates with Yuta for three years and they happened to be seatmates now. Yuta often sleeps in classes, if he's not bothering Hansol to copy his seatwork or do his assignments. Sometimes, he gives remarks or agrees when they all hang out together just to make his presence known. Also, he occasionally engages when their younger friends would talk about video games. Yuta's consistent companions are Doyoung and Ten who are the experts for mocking him. It's not that Taeyong observes Yuta. It's just that his wide grin, showing off his perfectly aligned and white teeth, is too conspicuous that Taeyong couldn't help but look at. It's often seen on unnecessary times too, and Taeyong believes Yuta's gummy smile is pure sarcasm.

 

 

"Nah but only because he doesn't want to trouble us." Doyoung tells him, yawning. "This is tiring and boring. I'll go back to my room."

 

 

Really an ass.

 

 

"Go ahead, hyung. Goodnight."

 

 

Taeyong just stand there on the side wondering why he even second thought Doyoung when he's a goof that speaks for itself. He was pulled out in his trance when Jaehyun nudged him on the shoulders and ask for help.

 

 

When Taeyong went back to his room, the lights were off and only the light from Yuta's phone to lit the room. For a minute, he hesitates whether or not he should switch the light on. Taeyong isn't afraid of him or anything, but if Yuta just decides to get even....... With shaking fingers, he flicked the switch, the white light emitting the room in an instant. His body stiffens when Yuta who's sitting on his bed looks up at him.

 

 

Taeyong quickly looks away and dashed through his bed. If he is this perturbed, it was guilt most likely, and that could only mean Hansol was right. Taeyong is used to saying mean things to everyone and getting away with it but that probably doesn't apply to just anyone. Maybe because Yuta isn't his close friend.

 

 

"Yu-Yuta." Taeyong begins, his back facing the other. The name sounding so foreign in his tongue. "About what I said today, I was rude to you. I'm sorry."

 

 

"Did Ten tricked you to apologize to me?" Yuta asked with a chuckle walking towards him, making Taeyong look up.

 

 

Taeyong was taken aback by how friendly his voice sounds, but the grin on Yuta's face breaks him to it. Yuta raised a hand to pat Taeyong on the top of his head in a quick motion and scampers to the comfort room, shutting the door loud.

 

 

What did Taeyong expect? He's an asshole and offers nothing but mockery. His laugh sounds so irritating that Taeyong wants to pull out his hair Yuta laid his fingers on.

 

 

And Taeyong scoffed in defeat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

>From: Tenten

 

ey chicken ballsack did u cry. taeyong was so mean im so angry him i really want to hit him so bad if it wasn't for the hyungs watching

 

To: Tenten

You shouldnt do that

 

 

>From: Tenten

 

wow u reply fast. were u texting anyone?

 

 

Yuta anticipates he would ask that. He isn't one to use his phone for communications unless it's excessively important. It's either on airplane mode when he plays games, or readzoning everyone and replying an hour later. Ten may act clinical and insulting all the time but he worries the most and Yuta appreciates that Yuta knows his text was to check on him.

 

 

From: Tenten

 

:))))))))))))))):::)))

 

 

>From: Tenten

 

can i join

 

 

From: Seulgi Bear

 

I took that earlier and forgot to send you, I'm at school now

 

 

Taeyong was typing a reply and quickly pulled his phone down the desk when the door burst open. But it was just Yuta scampering inside the room in a hurry, and sat on his seat beside Taeyong. It didn't change that they're roommates now. To Taeyong, Yuta is still a nonentity.

 

 

"Ca-can I copy your homework?"

 

 

It was an abrupt request and Taeyong still doesn't fancy having him around. Particularly after what just happened between them in Saturday's dinner. Solely, he side eyes Yuta and closed his notebook. And he swore Yuta was hopeful for a second.

 

 

"No."

 

 

"P--please. Just today." Yuta pleads, making a face of what looks like a kicked puppy. Grabbing Taeyong's arm.

 

 

"I said no." Taeyong shrugs him away.

 

 

"I'll owe you forever, please!" Yuta begs. He reached out to palms Taeyong's cheeks with both hands only to be shoved away.

 

 

"Stop touching me!" Taeyong shrieked. Keeping his calm and looks around the class. No one is looking and he sighed. He'd seen this before, Yuta sweet-talking Hansol to copy his home work but it's not going to work on Tae---

 

 

"Please, just let me copy your work. I---I'll..." Yuta hissed. "I'll clean the room. I'll buy you food. I'll do anything."

 

 

Taeyong's eyes lit up. "Really?" He spits, lips turning upwards.

 

 

Yuta looks reluctant when he nodded.

 

 

"Okay, I'll think about it." Taeyong says, handing his notebook to Yuta. He looks so desperate and Taeyong could make use of that.

 

 

Taeyong felt proud when Mr. Choi returned their papers and he got a one hundred. But his heart skipped a beat when he asked Yuta, "Did you copy Mr. Lee's work?" Instead of making a quick lie to save his ass, Yuta looks at Taeyong for a brief moment, and Taeyong had a trouble breathing because Yuta is taking too long to answer and what he thought was a brief moment turned into Yuta staring at him. Yuta's brows furrowed a bit, as if to express disgust and Taeyong wants to whack his face if he wouldn't get to trouble in front of Mr. Choi.

 

 

"Nah. I can do better."

 

 

Was Yuta's nonchalant answer and Taeyong fights all the urge to kick him under the table. The whole morning classes ended with Taeyong restraining himself from brawling Yuta and it made his head hurt. Only he was able to breathe a sigh of relief when the bell rang for lunch break.

 

 

"What do you mean you can do better?" Taeyong couldn't help but ask when only a few students are left in the room.

 

 

"Huh?" Yuta looks at him. "You think he would believe it if I said no?"

 

 

And somehow it made sense, but still. "But you did!"

 

 

Yuta steps back. "No one said I didn't okay." He huffed, picking up his notes. "I said I'd do you a favor. Have you thought about it?"

 

 

"Yu----Tae!" Was Ten's loud shout from the door.

 

 

Taeyong scrunched his face at how obscene his name sounds like next to Yuta's. He pushed Yuta to the side as he exits the room and Ten was smiling to greet him but Taeyong sees Seulgi in the hallways and his attention altered to her quickly.

 

 

"Seulgi!" Taeyong chimes, walking towards her with arms wide open for an embrace.

 

 

"Don't be gross!" Seulgi flicks him on the forehead.

 

 

"Dude, can't you be nice at least a little when people are around." Taeyong scowled, scratching his forehead. He ignores the blank gaze Yuta is giving him and Ten's comment about unrequited love. He glanced at them from behind and signals them to leave.

 

 

"I get it you're excited to see her but...Taeyong, you are noisy." Sooyoung tells him.

 

 

If Taeyong had seen her earlier, he wouln't even bother a greeting. There was more to life than to deal with Sooyoung's pique. Taeyong couldn't picture how Seulgi can even stand her or why is Yuta even dreaming. With a defeated sigh, Taeyong sends Seulgi a subtle wink with both eyes and left.

 

 

When he enters the cafeteria, it wasn't difficult to find their table when Johnny's laughter was erupting from the door. The seats were occupied except for one and Taeyong could've sworn he'd rather sit on the other table or not eat lunch at all, than to sit beside Hansol. After the last earful from him, Taeyong developed an irrational fear.

 

 

Yuta who sits in between Doyoung and Ten stood up and looks at him, before moving to the seat Taeyong wants to avoid. Taeyong fights all his urge to tell him he didn't have to cos otherwise, it would still be a long conversation.

 

 

"Oh." Was everyone's reaction in unison.

 

 

"Really Yuta?" Johnny asked, laughing.

 

 

Taeyong sits down, wary that Doyoung is watching him intently. He has yet to even see how whack today's meal is but he already lost his appetite. Doyoung is the type to rest his palm on Taeyong's thigh just to get on his nerves. And there is Ten too, who always has his way to make everything intensely aggravating.

 

 

"Didn't you bought this meal for him, too?"

 

 

Taeyong looks in front of him and there lies a meal box that still has it's cover on. So Yuta wasn't lying when he said he'd buy Taeyong food.

 

 

"Wow, really Yuta? Since when did you two become intimate?"

 

 

Both Taeyong and Yuta choked at his use word. Quite unsure if it's because Ten often still has his confusion over Korean language or if he really meant that.

 

 

"Say what?" Taeyong snarled at him.

 

 

"Intimate." Ten repeats.

 

 

"Ten, you always buy me food but we aren't intimate." Yuta tells Ten a matter of factly.

 

 

"Oh, is that an invite?" Johnny guffawed, hitting Hansol in the process who's clapping beside him.

 

 

"Oh man, not my type." Ten says in disgust. "Try asking Taeyong."

 

 

Taeyong doesn't think he'll ever get used to being the subject of Ten's mockery. It's always an endless mention of his name whatever matter and he suspects Ten teases him because the younger enjoys how he's easily pissed. Taeyong tries not to roll his eyes, opening the lid of his lunch. Lately, he'd learned to feign ignorance being the laughingstock neglecting their pleasantry. But not when Yuta is laughing and choking on his food. Taeyong stares at him, baffled.

 

 

"Are you okay?" Winwin asked, patting the older's back. His face was a mix of worried and trying not to laugh.

 

 

"Stop saying that." Yuta tells Ten with a cough. Tears forming in his eyes.

 

 

"This is Yuta's type of comedy." Taeil enunciates.

 

 

"Yup, he'd seen Bareback Mountain just last week." Doyoung agrees.

 

 

"That's not true!" Yuta objects and he began with another fit of laughter, causing everyone in the table to laugh except for Taeyong.

 

 

Taeyong closed his eyes in dismay. Today is going to be another long day.

 

 

 

 

 

Yuta tries to make out the difference between being roommates and in the same class with Taeyong, from being not. He found himself tiptoeing and unmoving at most. Taeyong is very strict and sensitive and Yuta doesn't want to be scolded.

 

 

So when the lunch finished and Yuta entered their classroom after a small chat with Ten and Doyoung, Taeyong was already on his seat looking ahead of the board. There wasn't anything written on it,'though, so it's either Taeyong really likes disregarding his presence or Taeyong really hates Yuta and considers him a nobody. Maybe to Taeyong, Yuta is a mere stranger.

 

 

Yuta didn't realize that he was staring until Taeyong turned to face him saying, "Take a picture if you like it so much." And Yuta takes his phone out and lifts it up close to Taeyong's face but he snarled at him, "What are you doing?!"

 

 

"I'm taking a pic---"

 

 

"Leave me alone!"

 

 

Taeyong looks so angry when he shrugged him away and Yuta puts his phone back to his pocket. Leaning back, he watches Taeyong fix his uniform necktie and Yuta looks down on his crooked one, fixing it as well. Taeyong probably took his action as mimicking and opened his mouth to rant, but Yuta was thankful their teacher gets in the room just in time. It would've been a long conversation but today, Yuta got lucky.

 

 

When the classes ended and all their classmates sprints outside, Yuta moves aside to let Taeyong pass before greeting Doyoung waiting for him by the door.

 

 

"What was that?" Doyoung asked when he saw the sullen glance Taeyong sent Yuta that he probably missed. "Did you two fight?"

 

 

Yuta snorts and chuckled. "Why do you guys keep assuming we are fighting?"

 

 

"Because." Doyoung cuts himself. Knowing Yuta isn't the type to argue with anybody for a long time so it's probably just Taeyong who's still fuming over Saturday's dinner incident. "You coming at the arcade?"

 

 

"Today?"

 

 

Doyoung nods. "Jaehyun is coming along. Winwin too."

 

 

"Ah." Yuta bits his bottom lip. It would've been a great opportunity to have fun and reward himself after getting a text awhile back that he made it to the elimination game of school's soccer team. "I'll pass."

 

 

"Oh." Doyoung scowled. "Ten isn't going to let you."

 

 

Yuta made a startled face and looked behind. He's lucky Ten wasn't around and pats Doyoung on the shoulder twice. "I'll make it up to you guys next time." He says, and sprints away.

 

 

But Doyoung was quick on running and grabbed him on the collar, causing Yuta to choke. "Where could you possibly be going? A date?"

 

 

"A date?" Yuta repeats, standing up straight.

 

 

"Tell me what is it, honestly. I'll make an alibi as to why you're ditching us to Ten."

 

 

Yuta groaned inwardly. Knowing well that Doyoung isn't going to let him go this time. Last Sunday, he told them he's sick to his stomach and ditched all their plans the whole day when all he did was stay his dorm room cleaning up his scattered belongings because Taeyong wouldn't stop muttering and mopping the floor. Yuta was so afraid he didn't dared to step on it that he ends up sleeping while never leaving his bed.

 

 

Doyoung was waiting and before he could grasp him on the neck this time, Yuta leans in and whispered, "I have diarrhea."

 

 

Yuta somewhat regrets his idea of reasoning because Doyoung pushed him hard, but before he could say anything,Yuta grinned at him wide and run away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taeyong was the one who gets Johnny into reading mangas. At first it was fun to talk about his favorites with someone who's interested and go to bookstores to check out new releases. Until Johnny gets addicted that he had to pester Taeyong into going to bookstores with him every week so he wouldn't be outdated. Taeyong complains a lot and tells him to read on the internet instead but Johnny lectured him about illegal copyrights.

 

 

So when Taeyong gets home with an aching back to what he expects was the smell of shoes, rather he was welcomed with the fragrance of what he assumed the smell of apple freshener. Locking the door behind him, Taeyong was surprised at Yuta peeking out from the bathroom. A huge part of his shirt was soaked with water and he's holding a brush.

 

 

"You came just in time. I finished cleaning." Yuta tells him and beams at Taeyong with his usual wide grin. Showing off his white teeth.

 

 

Taeyong's face scrunched at it. Somehow Yuta's wide grin makes him feel ridiculed. He doesn't know how it happened, but it seemed like everything Yuta does rubs him the wrong way.

 

 

"Hold up a minute." Yuta tells him, closing the bathroom door.

 

 

Taeyong didn't mind him and walks to his bed. Changing from his uniform to his sleeping clothes in a swift motion. He sighed, and finished just in time and Yuta is coming out of bathroom.

 

 

"Have you eaten?" Yuta asked.

 

 

Taeyong hummed a question.

 

 

"I passed by a pizza booth today." Yuta says, setting up the mini table they have in the room. He pulls out two boxes from the paper bag he was holding. "I got one for you."

 

 

"Really?" Taeyong uttered, walking to the table. He was hungry, but cleaning the bathroom and buying him food isn't Yuta's obligation and he wants to make it clear. Just as he was about to talk about it, Yuta pulls him down on the chair.

 

 

"Fries and chicken fingers for you." Yuta tells him, sitting on the opposite and opening Taeyong's box.

 

 

The food indeed was appetizing, but Taeyong felt ashamed when he saw Yuta's hand. "Yuta, your hands."

 

 

"Oh." Yuta pulls back quickly, embarrassed. Taeyong might not eat the food he touched so he offered his untouched one. "I'm sorry, you can have mine---"

 

 

"No, I mean. They're red."

 

 

Yuta looks at his palm and closed them immediately. "It's nothing." He says, giving the other his reassuring smile.

 

 

"You used the bleach without the gloves. Did you hurt yourself?" Taeyong asked, worried, but Yuta only looked down. "Yuta, you don't have to do all this. I'm sorry if I'm making you feel obliged. You bought me lunch earlier and that's enough already."

 

 

Yuta looks at Taeyong, cracking another smile. "But, you always do these cleaning stuffs. And I'm your roommate. So it should be fair that I should help too."

 

 

Taeyong gave him a languid nod. Picking up the fork to eat. It would've been very appetizing if he didn't feel this guilty.

 

 

"You don't like your food?" Yuta asked, worried. "It's okay, you don't have to---"

 

 

"No, I just." Taeyong snorts. "We're not really close friends and I--I find this weird."

 

 

Yuta chuckled. "That's why we should begin today."

 

 

And Taeyong forced a smile, nodding.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next days didn't go well as Yuta expected because Taeyong still wasn't talking to him anyway. And he just laughed it off one day when Seulgi asked him where Taeyong was as if he would know, as if Taeyong would tell him. They'll be roommates, classmates and seatmates for a year but treats each other like strangers and Yuta finds it quite hilarious. It's an endless year for their friends too to poke fun at them about it.

 

 

"Nakamoto Yuta the soccer varsity player slash the housecleaner." Ten tells Doyoung excitedly. They were at the arcade and decides to enter the karaoke when they were drained from the games.

 

 

"Why do you always say unnecessary things at unnecessary times you unnecessary monkey." Yuta whacks Ten with the mic. It was Yuta's turn to sing but he couldn't unhear what Ten entitled him. The lyrics started appearing on the screen but Yuta wasn't paying attention anymore. Another token wasted. The first token was when Doyoung entitled him the diarrhea king in the middle of his singing. Second was when Ten lied about phone calling Sooyoung so she could hear Yuta's hearty performance.

 

 

"He just called you an unnecessary person." Doyoung says in a fit of laughter, drumming Ten's leg with his hands.

 

 

"Now I lost my chance to get a hundred. That was our last token, you monkey." Yuta jumps at Ten and fake strangles him.

 

 

"Goddamnit, Yuta. It's over between us!" Ten squaled when Yuta tickled him merciless.

 

 

"Yeah?" Yuta chuckled, trapping Ten in the corner of the small both.

 

 

"Doyoung! Help me!" Ten choked a sob.

 

 

"Nah, I like it. I like watching breakups." Doyoung smiled maniacally.

 

 

Yuta pulled away from Ten, shaking his head. "You're the exact reason why Taeyong dislikes us."

 

 

Doyoung helds his chest in defense, offended. "But excuse me, I don't like him either."

 

 

"He likes Jaehyun." Ten yelps in pain when Doyoung flicks at his forehead.

 

 

"Yeah. Doyoung likes Jaehyun." Yuta quips and was lucky he stepped back quick when Doyoung tries to kick him.

 

 

"It's okay, we still love you." Ten tells him.

 

 

Yuta was waiting for Ten to laugh, or another remark from Doyoung. But instead, he fell limply beside Ten and shoves his face on the other's neck. He squints at their actions and was to about to ask what's happening but decided not to when he saw the way Doyoung was clenching his fist.

 

 

 

 

"Man, tell me what's going on with Doyoung?"

 

 

Yuta asked Ten when they were alone in Ten's dorm. Johnny was out and has yet to come home from his dinner with Hansol and Taeil. Yuta doesn't really intrude with anything his friends doesn't tell him but Doyoung's sudden change of mood concerns him lately.

 

 

"Asshat that's Johnny's!"

 

 

Yuta ignored Ten's protest and closed the fridge. Carefully opening the lid of the tiny ice cream cup. "Answer me." He pressed, following Ten on the couch and flopping next to him.

 

 

"I'll tell you when he tells me."

 

 

"You mean you'll tell me when he tells you to tell me." Yuta corrects, chewing on the ice cream loud.

 

 

"It was last week when he said he doesn't feel good about something but he never really told me about it." Ten admits, pushing his hair back. "I thought that something was you and Taeyong being roommates but I'm starting to think it's about himself."

 

 

"Huh?" Yuta huffed. "What does me and Taeyong had to do with---"

 

 

"Come on, even the kids talked about it." Ten says matter of factly.

 

 

"You're changing the topic."

 

 

"You're ditching us because of Taeyong."

 

 

"I'm not."

 

 

"You are."

 

 

"I'm no---"

 

 

"Go back to your room." Ten stood up, grabbing the empty cup from Yuta's hands.

 

 

"No!" Yuta protested. Sagging deeper in to the couch, but Ten was stronger and able to pull him up.

 

 

"Get out you stinky rat." Ten pushed him by the door, laughing. "Why are you so afraid of him anyway?"

 

 

"I'm not afraid to Tae---"

 

 

"I see your calling his name freely now."

 

 

"No--no no wait wait! Do I still smell like---"

 

 

Ten was smiling maniacally as he manhandles Yuta out of the room. "You do." He quips, and shuts the door on the other's face.

 

 

If there's any way Yuta can go back to his room without having to notice the smell of beer in him, he'd do it. But Taeyong is too sensitive that he wakes up even with the sound of Yuta's careful steps anywhere in their room. He really didn't want to drink but he doesn't want to let Doyoung drink on his own when Ten made his point that he wouldn't. He'd chew several gums already and it worked for his breath, except for his shirt.

 

 

Yuta stealthily walks in, taking off his shirt in a swift motion. Ignoring the piercing gaze Taeyong is throwing at him from his bed.

 

 

"Why are you stripping? Your body isn't even that nice to look at."

 

 

Yuta felt flustered at Taeyong's words that he turned his back on him, rummaging quickly through his closet. He picked a white tank top that Taeyong might have say again, and wears it fast. Ignoring Taeyong's insulting chimes. "I need your help."

 

 

"Of all people, you need my help?" Taeyong cuts him off, making a face and flopping down on his bed.

 

 

Taeyong's dislike for him might be over the rooftop but Yuta would still be trying to reach out on him. He doesn't retaliate to avoid worsening what's already bad that Taeyong has for him. He didn't expect Taeyong to be this mean, but then again it was probably only to Yuta who's presence alone riles him up.

 

 

"You understand these words more than the dictionary." Yuta walks towards Taeyong's bed with his book. His attempt to sit on his bed was a fail because Taeyong is kicking him away.

 

 

"Don't talk to me!" Taeyong screeched, hiding under the covers.

 

 

"It's just one favor." Yuta enunciates. Pulling the covers off of Taeyong who's protesting in return.

 

 

"Ask someone else!" Taeyong yelps when Yuta was triumphant on removing the blanket off him.

 

 

"I'm asking you!" Yuta shouts, pulling his one leg up the bed. Before Taeyong could possibly hit him, Yuta grasps at his wrists and holds them down with Taeyong's head in between. It's getting late and he only wanted Taeyong to help him for tomorrow's quiz on literature. Yuta doesn't know either why he's doing this, trapping the older and gripping on his wrist tighter for him to concede. But seeing the look on Taeyong's face, his fear was evident and Yuta suddenly felt triumphant. A smile made it's way to Yuta's lips, staring down at Taeyong with worried eyes. His handsome face, whatever expression, was stunning. Godly, Yuta thinks, if only he doesn't have a mouth that ruins everything.

 

 

"L--let go of me. I'm going to spit on your face." Taeyong taunts, closing his eyes.

 

 

It wasn't at all intimidating and had Yuta chuckling, freeing his wrists. He pulls back to sit on Taeyong's desk chair, feeling guilty when the other was scratching his red wrists. It was only for fun yet Yuta must've gone too enthralled that he clenched Taeyong too hard.

 

 

"I didn't mean to do that." Yuta says, worried. He reaches out but Taeyong shrugs him away.

 

 

"You are so fucking mean."

 

 

Yuta leans back, taken aback by the cuss.

 

 

"And you look so ugly close up." Taeyong spits, grabbing Yuta's book and scans through the pages.

 

 

It would've been very offending if Taeyong didn't look like a silly, sulky kitten while saying it.

 

 

"What kind of birdbrain don't know what this meant, you've been living in Korea for 12 years." Taeyong scowled, pointing on a paragraph on the poem he's sure Yuta is having a hard time understanding.

 

 

"Say that again, I'm telling Hansol hyung." Yuta threatens, although he didn't mean it. Chuckling inwardly by the way Taeyong's shoulder sags.

 

 

"I don't want to talk to you. Give me a pen, I'm gonna rephrase and write it instead."

 

 

"You're really cute." Yuta laughed.

 

 

"Shut up."

 

 

"Cute."

 

 

"Your breath smell like a skunk's."

 

 

As much as he didn't want to be affected by Taeyong's word vomit, Yuta's jaw dropped at the insult.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Why do I need to waste my time watching some football game I have no interest in." Taeyong scoffs at Johnny, the last words sounding like a whisper.

 

 

Johnny noticed it, he looks to his back and saw Hansol approaching them. "So, you're coming with us."

 

 

"He is." Kun says, chuckling. He looks around and noticed Ten and Doyoung not around. "Where are his best buds? Usually they're five hours early to doze off at the bleachers. Skipping classes."

 

 

"Ten was sleeping in the library." Taeil says.

 

 

"Doyoung hyung is still at the science laboratory. Winwin too." Adds Jaehyun.

 

 

"What time does the game starts?" Hansol asked.

 

 

"At four." Johnny replies. He pulled Taeyong on the arm and signals for other's to follow him. It's only a quarter to four but they need good seats for the game.

 

 

"Trap him so he doesn't escape." Johnny announces.

 

 

Hansol heard it and exchanged seats with Jaehyun so Taeyong is in between him and Johnny. He gave Taeyong a friendly smile and the younger only looks away.

 

 

"Stop laughing." Taeyong gibes at Johnny. Though, avoiding Hansol's gaze, he slumped on his seat to emphasize his apathy for today's soccer game. Not to mention, it was Yuta's game. "Jaehyun buy me food or I'll cry."

 

 

Laughter erupts from the back. Taeyong directs his eyes to see Ten and Doyoung sitting now, probably laughing at his request.

 

 

"Doyoung, buy me that stuff. Please." Taeyong begs, pointing at the hotdog stall down the bleachers.

 

 

"You're into hotdogs?" Doyoung questions, standing up.

 

 

"What kind of question was that." Kun croaks from his seat.

 

 

If Taeyong disapproves of Yuta's existence, Kun basically would want to choke Doyoung whenever he gets the chance and if it wasn't illegal.

 

 

"Hot. Dogs." Ten accentuates. Earning a pinch on the ear from Taeil.

 

 

"Damn it. It wasn't me." Ten protested. "And he's really going to get you a hotdog, TY." He snickered, amused as he watch Doyoung climb down the stairs.

 

 

A loud horn goes off and signals the players that the game was about to start. Just in time that Taeyong finished his food. Ignoring Ten's comment of how fast he can devour big hotdogs. Scanning the pack of players entering the field, Taeyong spots the bowl haircut and laughed when he saw Yuta almost stumbling on his foot. Yuta kept on patting his chest and poking another player who Taeyong guesses was Jungwoo.

 

 

"What's he so nervous about?" Taeyong asked Johnny.

 

 

Doyoung who was leaning in from behind their seats, answered "His team needs to win. If they lose this game, they'd be training for another year."

 

 

"Oh." Taeyong made an 'o' face.

 

 

There are two things he'd notice regarding Yuta. First, after that tutoring incident when Yuta pinned him down on his bed, he was acting clingy. Yuta tries to give him a highfive whenever that Taeyong mostly ignore, but when he forgets it was Yuta and high fives back, Yuta would grab his hand and turns it into a hand shake. Also, there were times Yuta would just sit on his bed when Taeyong is watching anime on his laptop insisting to watch with him. Yuta also made it a habit to pet Taeyong's hair every time they had to part from school, or whenever he's leaving the dorm. Taeyong is sure he'd push the presumptous Yuta enough yet he always return with another comeback that can piss Taeyong even more.

 

 

Another thing was Yuta acting like a zombie most of the time in their dorm. If he wasn't working out or skipping meals for his diet, Yuta is a gourmand that eats anything edible he finds. Even so, the pressure on his shoulders for his football matters are visible with the bags under his eyes.

 

 

"So, do we wish he win or not?" Taeyong asked Doyoung who ignored his question.

 

 

Taeyong focuses back on the field. He isn't really inclined of sports, he finds it boring especially soccer. The game progress is slow. Little did he notice that from his sarcasm reactions and cheers, mimicking the people around him, that he was actually watching. Despite stumbling several times, Yuta was always able to get up quickly to his battlefield yet again.Seeing Yuta playing for his dear life, brings into Taeyong's concrete existence that this Yuta on the field is a dreamer. Taeyong laughs to himself at how emotional his made up metamorphosis about Yuta was, reckoning as why he even thought about that.

 

 

"Nice one." Taeyong muttered to himself when Yuta was jumping around in the field after making a goal.

 

 

"He's so amazing. I'm so proud." Johnny whispers beside him, clapping his hands.

 

 

"Then cry." Taeyong quips. Although he was startled as to how quick Yuta was running and able to steal the ball from the opponent.

 

 

Johnny elbows him.

 

 

Taeyong was about to complain how painful it was when the loud cheer from the audience erupt in stadium, and everyone was standing up and clapping except for him still sitting idly. And the next minute was Johnny and Jaehyun manhandling and pulling him down to the field. Taeyong's protests and screeching fell on deaf ears with the sound of what could be a ditty from the winning team and their audiences and Taeyong doesn't even know what's going on anymore. Maybe his team, Yuta's opponents, won.

 

 

He almost tripped when Johnny and Jaehyun freed him, sprinting away from Yuta who's running towards them. Arms open wide. All their friends shuns away from what could be Yuta's sweaty embrace but Taeyong, who's one shoes was taken off, was left in the middle and begrudgingly received the quick hug.

 

 

"Mother!" Taeyong yelps, feeling his neck and left cheek soaked with undeniably sweat.

 

 

Yuta was quick on stepping back, holding his both hands in defense. "Th--that was water. I swear."

 

 

"Go away." Taeyong wanted to pass out in disgust, kicking on his feet. He runs behind Johnny, wiping himself on his back.

 

 

"Taeyong what the heck." Johnny asserted, shrugging him away but Taeyong's grasp on his uniform was too strong. Sighing in defeat, he lets Taeyong be. He can take off his coat and wash it clean, but Taeyong's despise to Yuta, never anymore.

 

 

Yuta sat on the grass field, clutching at his shoes. Carefully watching Taeyong and Johnny as guilt throbs in his chest. A few seconds ago he was happy for their team's victory, and now, he probably need to find a new dorm to stay in.

 

 

"I--it was Johnny's fault. He pulled away." Was Yuta's failed reasoning. He really didn't intend to do that to Taeyong.

 

 

"But hey that was sweet." Ten says laughing.

 

 

"Don't ever come near me." Taeyong warns.

 

 

Yuta was nodding like an idiot. Pouring a bottled water on his head. Johnny might agree on switching rooms with him now.

 

 

Ten comments about how sad it was when the Titanic sank reenacting the famous movie with Jaehyun. But Taeyong wasn't having any of that anymore so he turned around and departs from them to make his point.

 

 

 

Taeyong takes his time in the comfort room. Erasing every sign of Yuta's sweat off him. It's the first time he was forced to watch Yuta's game, and today's mishap was a signal for him to never do it again. It's not that he was grossed out. Maybe only a little of that but he's positive that Yuta is a clean man. It's the thought it was a very uncalled-for gag and Taeyong had to endure such lack of mental maturity.

 

 

He was lucky to find Seulgi in the hallway just as he got out of the comfort room. Taeyong needs to release his annoyance.

 

 

"Why are you still on your laboratory gown? Wait. Did Doyoung left you to do all the work again." Taeyong ask, worried. Forgetting his own concern.

 

 

"Something close to that. Winwin was og help, though. " Seulgi tells him. "Why are you still here? Did you watch the game?"

 

 

And Taeyong finds his chance to tell him what just happened.

 

 

"But Taeyong, that's normal joke for guys." Seulgi tells him that had Taeyong cringing in an instant. "You're friends aren't the sensitive type. Also, you've been living with them for years. Shouldn't you have gotten used to that already."

 

 

Taeyong was about to defend but he still was sane enough to know that Seulgi is making a point so he only juts his bottom lip for her to realize how violated he felt at the moment.

 

 

"And it's unfair for you to hate on someone for no reason."

 

 

"I don't hate Yuta. I just..." Taeyong halts. In wonder if ever Seulgi will consider his reasoning that he doesn't hate Yuta, he just didn't like him.

 

 

"You just?" She asked.

 

 

"Hungry..."

 

 

Seulgi snorts. "Fine, let's get you something to eat. I'll just sign the attendance."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yuta told that incident at the soccer field would be his last offense and he will get the bone-chilling treatment that he deserves. Taeyong is really intimidating and it didn't matter how cautious Yuta is around him when the perspective was fixed that; Taeyong is right, therefore Yuta is wrong.

 

 

So when Hansol assigns them to do the groceries, Yuta was so belittled from their first step inside the store. He wondered why he hadn't disappeared yet. Yuta was only suggesting and every words he say, Taeyong assumes he was teasing. So when Yuta opts zip his mouth to avoid any more conflict, Taeyong named him a snobbish, useless and ugly jock.

 

 

Yuta was drained not only from pushing the cart, but also from avoiding the tittering gaze the people are sending him upon hearing Taeyong's scolding.

 

 

"Do we need more spices?"

 

 

"I ----"

 

 

"Nevermind. You know nothing about the kitchen." Taeyong says, shaking his head. As though Yuta was never of help this whole time.

 

 

"Then stop asking me." Yuta scoffed, dragging the cart and leaving Taeyong on the food seasonings section.

 

 

"Why are you so angry?" Taeyong stepped back, hurt.

 

 

"I-- I'm not angry." Yuta scoffs, trying his best to calm. Taeyong is so weird. He kept on yelling at Yuta over nothing and when Yuta raised his voice only a little, he's upset.

 

Taeyong only snorts, making a face and stomping away leaving Yuta no choice but the follow him.

 

 

"Are you still mad? When I hugged you?" Yuta asked, hesitant.

 

 

"Don't call it a hug. I have no any affection for you."

 

 

"I didn't say there's affection between us." Yuta quoted the word.

 

 

"My loathing for you isn't downscaling, it's just adding up."

 

 

"Why do you hate me so much?" Yuta queries. They never really talked about this whole warfare matter and now it's his chance to ask Taeyong.

 

 

"I don't like your friends and that includes you." Was Taeyong's quick reply.

 

 

"That doesn't make sense." Yuta retaliates. He grasp at Taeyong's arm to stop him from sprinting away. "You're in better terms with them than you are with me. That can't be the reason."

 

 

"I just don't feel like having you around or talking to you, okay." Taeyong says, facing him. "Stop making a fuss over something so petty."

 

 

Yuta stares back at Taeyong, by the calmness of his gaze, he wonders if Taeyong was lying. No one hot under the collar would be looking that tender. He suddenly feel like embracing Taeyong and telling him Yuta can bear with him whatever goes on. If things aren't too complicated between them. Yuta just want to be his friend.

 

 

"Should we get snacks too?" Taeyong asked, pulling the cart so Yuta is following him.

 

 

"Coke." Yuta answers quick. He'll get used to Taeyong somehow.

 

 

"That'll be hard to carry back to the dorm."

 

 

"I'll call Winwin to give us a hand. But let's get you coffee first."

 

 

Taeyong's eyes lit up at the word, nodding eagerly.

 

 

 

 

"Hot choco?" Yuta places Taeyong's cup on their table.

 

 

Taeyong hummed, taking it with a smile on his lips. Muttering a "What?" when he noticed Yuta staring.

 

 

"You actually smiled." Yuta says nonchalant, sipping on his americano.

 

 

"Ain't I handsome." Taeyong says, confident.

 

"Handsome?" Yuta repeats. "Cute is the word."

 

 

Taeyong groaned, resting his face on the table. It was unseemly and Yuta pulled him up. "But hey, is it true you're dating Sooyoung? Are you wooing her? Tell me when you two start going out so I can laugh at her."

 

 

It never fails to amuse Yuta at the words that comes out of Taeyong's mouth. Taeyong claims he hates Ten and Doyoung for being dissing arrogants, but he sort of acts the same. If Taeyong isn't insulting or sarcastic, he's just talking strange.

 

 

"We aren't dating." Yuta says.

 

 

"You sound bitter."

 

 

Yuta wishes Taeyong was just word-mongering and didn't see right through him. "How about you? Johnny told me you've had girlfriends before."

 

 

"So?" Taeyong raised a brow.

 

 

"I'm sure you aren't dating Seulgi so I'm curious----"

 

 

"Oh my god. Finally, thank god." Taeyong says, drammatic. Taking Yuta's hand and burrying his face on them. Finally, someone who isn't malicious. Finally, someone who understands.

 

 

"You're acting weird." Yuta chuckled when Taeyong let's go of him.

 

 

"Seulgi told me not to date anyone unless I really like the person."

 

 

"What if she likes you?" He asked, curious. It's not impossible for any girl to fall in love with someone so handsome like Taeyong, or someone for a guy to develop a feeling to someone stunningly beautiful and kind like Seulgi. It's not like Taeyong will open up to him or anything but he wants Taeyong to know that he will listen.

 

 

"Impossible." Taeyong fakes a gag.

 

 

"Why not?"

 

 

"I'm not her type."

 

 

"Is she your type?" Yuta interrogates.

 

 

Taeyong shook his head, making a funny face yet again that had Yuta laughing.

 

 

"Stop ruining your face like that."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On a Sunday afternoon, Taeyong was cramming and panicking over homeworks and projects he has yet to finish. They will be having a long quiz in Health subject and the deadline for his Arts nature sketch is due tomorrow. He can revise his notes to sleep but sketching is a huge problem for someone so incapable like Taeyong. Sure he befriended the right person, Seulgi, who's drawing skills are blessed and God's gift.

 

 

The girl's dorm located two streets away that Taeyong had to run back and fourth. There was a policy that only female student's can enter the girl's dorm, and vice versa. Taeyong forgotten about this, so when the guard blocked his way in, he had to run back to the male dorm and ask for consent to the admission.

 

 

Taeyong was lucky Seulgi wasn't sleeping by the time and he waited for her at the cafeteria on a seperate building, just beside the dorm.

 

 

"Oh Seulgi, what would I do without you." Taeyong says, admiring the art in front of him.

 

 

"You'd probably draw two clouds, a sun, and some birds that look like Joohyun's eyebrows." Seulgi says, laughing. And walks Taeyong near the gate.

 

 

Taeyong heartily situates the art paper inside his folder. Carefully closing it as he passed by the security guard still throwing draggers at him. When he was out of the foyer, he saw a familiar figure outside, standing and on his phone.

 

 

"Doyoung!" He calls, sprinting towards him.

 

 

Doyoung pulled his phone away and looks back, startled.

 

 

"What are you doing here?" Taeyong asked. And by the look of Doyoung's surprised reaction, Taeyong guesses he was going to ask the same thing so he says, "I asked Seulgi to sketch my project for me."

 

 

"Shouldn't you asked Renjun." Doyoung says, and signals Taeyong to leave together.

 

 

"Renjun can draw?" He asked. Taeyong is aware that Renjun is intellectually bright but the fact that he can draw is a new information.

 

 

Doyoung nods. "Have you seen their room? He painted it with Mark."

 

 

"I haven't." Taeyong says, sadly.

 

 

"Oh, I forgot you aren't close with any of them." Doyoung chuckled. It was understandable at the beginning because of Taeyong's intimidating cold face. But the kids probably doesn't hang around him much because Taeyong is too sensitive.

 

 

"I love them."

 

 

Doyoung hummed. "Hey, wanna hang out tonight?"

 

 

"Huh. You and me?"

 

 

"Nah. Johnny, Jaehyun and I. We're going to the flower park for air. It's quiet there, and relaxing."

 

 

Taeyong doesn't usually come with his friend's hangouts but he might be needing some air tonight so he nods.

 

 

When they got back to the dorm, Taeyong told Doyoung he's going to change his clothes. When he entered their room, Yuta on his desk looks at him.

 

 

"Where have you been?" He asked.

 

 

Taeyong raised his brow at him. The last time he checked, he didn't have any obligation to tell Yuta about his errands. But the younger kept on putting his nose into Taeyong's business. He ignores the question, rummaging through his clothes and find a hoodie. He was about to take his shirt off, but he looks back to Yuta staring at him.

 

 

"Don't look." He orders and Yuta turned around. Allowing Taeyong to change from his shirt to a brown hoodie.

 

 

"You just got back, are you leaving again?" Yuta asked again, walking towards him.

 

 

Taeyong nods, spraying his hair with hair spray. Yuta, who's standing too close, steps back.

 

 

"Where are you going?"

 

 

"The hell do I have to tell you?" Taeyong scoffs, facing him. Brushing his hair hair up with his hands, mindful that Yuta is watching him upclose, staring, "What?"

 

 

"Nothing. I didn't think you're someone who'd put effort to look good and, " Yuta leans in a little, inhaling. "You smell nice."

 

 

Taeyong rolled his eyes, weirded out at whatever point Yuta is trying to make and ignored his comment. Besides, he's leaving any minute now. Taeyong swore he's about to lose ground when Yuta still followed him to the shoe racks.

 

 

"Why not wear the slip-on?"

 

 

It was a great question to explain himselft if it wasn't Yuta who's asking. He didn't wanna wear them so Taeyong doesn't stumble on his feet, a conventional occurence when he does, just so Taeil has nothing to back it up with when he claimed Taeyong was sloppy.

 

 

"They're snuggy and comfortable."

 

 

"Can you like not." Taeyong stood up straight, trying to be intimidating. But Yuta and him are of the same height and eye contacts with him is something Taeyong would trade for anything. He wonders if Yuta is in a good mood, or if being talkative is a part of him that Taeyong has been failing to notice since the beginning.

 

 

Yuta makes a gesture to zip his mouth and puts his lips into a thin line. It was so philosophical that sets Taeyong teeth on edge. He crouched down, kneeling on the floor.

 

 

Taeyong was about to yell what he's doing when he noticed his left shoelace untied, and Yuta ties it for him. Yuta could've just say it and Taeyong could do it himself, but Yuta is looking up at him with his usual grin and Taeyong forgotten what he was gonna say muttering a "Thanks." , instead. In an honest matter, Taeyong could've break his nose on his first step if Yuta didn't fixed it for him. This time, he didn't shut the door on Yuta's face, but closed it carefully.

 

 

He makes his way to their floor's lobby room and saw Johnny and Jaehyun talking. He'd ask why they're the only ones going but he might only give Johnny some unfunny idea like inviting Hansol or Ten.

 

 

"Taeil lends us his car." Johnny tells them.

 

 

"Doyoung hyung is still changing." Jaehyun tells Taeyong who nods.

 

 

"I'm too sleepy, I don't think I can drive." Johnny says, yawning. "Let's have Taeyong's boyfriend drive for us."

 

 

Taeyong wants to complain that Yuta isn't his boyfriend and that he doesn't want him to come with them but Taeil is giving the keys to Doyoung who's approaching them, a quiet "Oh." slips off his mouth.

 

 

Johnny, who noticed this asked, "Why? Who were you thinking?"

 

 

"Yuta hyung?" Jaehyun guesses, laughing.

 

 

Taeyong hissed, hitting the younger on the chest. Jaehyun never teased him before. It's unimaginable what Jaehyun can become spending so much with Ten and Doyoung.

 

 

"Can he come over with us?" Johnny asked Doyoung, laughing.

 

 

Taeyong is going to back down on this trip if Doyoung agreed, but he didn't and scolds the two to leave Taeyong alone. It's one of those days when Taeyong is glad that Doyoung stands up for him instead of harassing him.

 

 

 

Their dinner order came just in time when they reached the park. It was a wide area, with mostly grass and benches and people come here for picnics. Most visitors are students that come here to study. They chose a place nearby the trees where they lay their blankets. It was cold and Taeyong made the right decision to wear hoodie, unlike Jaehyun who's complaining how cold it was on his v-neck shirt.

 

 

After eating, they didn't talk much and Johnny announces he's going to sleep. Jaehyun left them and join the bunch of teenagers playing volleyball somewhere close. Taeyong lies down with his book, too. Resting his head on Doyoung's stomach.

 

 

"Hey, Doyoung." He calls, but the younger is too absorbed on his phone. "Is it true Jaehyun is dating with that cashier girl at store in front of our school? She's eight years older."

 

 

"Huh?"

 

 

"Pay attention to me when I'm talking to you." Taeyong scolds, taking his phone.

 

 

Doyoung probably didn't want to argue so instead of scratching his phone back, he clicks the lock button. "Are we really going to talk behind his back? And where did you get that from?"

 

 

Taeyong juts his bottom lip. He could take yes or no for an answer. Yet, Doyoung seemed so upset. As though Taeyong isn't Jaehyun's friend and has no single right on his privacy.

 

 

"Poor Jaehyun is only being generous helping her close the store yet some people had to do him dirty by making things up." Doyoung sighed loud.

 

 

Making Taeyong looks up at him. Taeyong tries to make out whether it's worry or sadness on his face. And he regrets even asking. He could've just gone back on revising his notes and lets himself frown on curiosity. Just as he was scanning through the pages, his phone started buzzing and there was a text.

 

 

>From: XXXX-102695

 

have u seen my tooth brush? :D

 

 

From: XXXX-102695

 

study well. I miss u <3

 

 

From: XXXX-102695

 

taeyong it wasn't me it was ten

 

 

"I didn't know the two of you are in texting terms now." Doyoung says, startling Taeyong who's oblivious to him peeking on his phone. "You've always told me he's a dick but...Ain't he nice and sweet."

 

 

"He's nothing close to any of that." Taeyong rolled his eyes. "Besides, it was probably Ten texting and not him."

 

 

"I was talking about Ten, he's nice and sweet." Doyoung corrected.

 

 

"What." Taeyong huffs, baffled. "You're like Johnny, when will you assholes let me live!" He rolls over, burying his face on Doyoung's stomach and biting him.

 

 

"God, Taeyong." Doyoung yelps.

 

 

"The signboard did say PDA isn't allowed here."

 

 

Surprised, Taeyong sat up only to find Ten and Yuta arrived. The latter handing a plastic bag of what could be coke to Doyoung.

 

 

"You used your motorbike to come here?" Doyoung asked Ten.

 

 

"Yeah." Ten nods, and turned to Taeyong. Handing him a small paper bag. "We met Seulgi at the entrance. She told me to gave you that so you could study well. Chocolates, I guess."

 

 

"Is she alone?" Was Doyoung's question.

 

 

It was the same question Yuta asked Seulgi when they met at the park. Assumably, they are worried of her too as much as Taeyong is.

 

 

"She's with Irene." Yuta was the one who answered.

 

 

"We need more players!" Jaehyun was shouting from afar, waving his hands at them.

 

 

"Sure, let me step on their faces." Ten confidently says, running towards him.

 

 

"He's playing with gradeschoolers."

 

 

Doyoung follows too. Leaving a sleeping Taeyong, Yuta and sleeping Johnny on their picnic blanket.

 

 

"Aren't you joining them? Why did you come here?" Taeyong asked Yuta who's sitting down.

 

 

"Ten pulled me here. I thought you were with Seulgi."

 

 

Taeyong shook his head. "Are you drunk?"

 

 

"Do I smell?"

 

 

"Not really. But your eyes, they're red. Are you okay?" Taeyong asked, but he swore he isn't worried. Only inquisitive about what Doyoung told him that Yuta doesn't easily open up to anyone, not even to them.

 

 

Yuta looks away to where their friends are playing. "I don't know how to play that."

 

 

"Look at those guys bothering them." Taeyong points his lips at Seulgi and Irene. He stood up, pulling Yuta with him. "Come on, let's pretend we're their boyfriends."

 

 

"What?" Yuta asked, baffled. Although letting Taeyong pull him. "Wait, do we leave Johnny?" He asked. Poor guy sleeping alone in a funny position on a huge blanket.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yuta was certain they did reported the AC malfunctioning to the management last week. Taeyong even e-mailed and phone called the administrators. The airconditioner in their room overheats often. Today, it went off that had him awoken at 5 in the morning. He was covered in sweat and rushes straight to the bathroom to shower.

 

 

It's still too early to come to school so Yuta tries to see what he can do. Cleaning the machine by wiping the dust off it's cooler in an attempt to fix it.

 

 

"Turn it back on Yuta I swear!"

 

 

"Good morning to you too, Taeyong." Yuta tells him. Although hopeless at the current situation, Yuta laughs at Taeyong looking so ridiculous with his disheveled hair and a scowling sleepy face.

 

 

"I swear! Yuta if you don't turn the AC back on I'm gonna---" Taeyong sits up.

 

 

"What are you doing." Yuta whispers when Taeyong takes off his own shirt abruptly. It was hot in their room and understandable for anyone to be pissed to wake bathing in sweat because of the heat. But it's too early for Taeyong to yell and their neighbor rooms might be awoken from their noise. Yuta wouldn't want to be scolded this early.

 

 

He gets down from the desk chair he's stepping on and dashed through window, opening it for the air to go in. It might cool the room a bit, at least. But Taeyong is non-stop with his groaning and complaining and Yuta guesses he wouldn't until he's seeing him. So Yuta went back to his bed to take his coat and backpack, brushing his hair quick and leave their room.

 

 

 

It's exactly six o'clock when Yuta reach their school. He still have two hours to wait for his first class, wondering what there is to do. There are a few students around and Yuta surmised they're class organizers or club participants. Even he and his football team have to train at 5 am on Tuesdays.

 

 

He heads to the cafeteria for breakfast first, thinking about making use of the library to sleep and revise his Health notes a bit. The quiz reminded him of Taeyong that had him snickering a little upon what happened last night. Just in time when the crew hands him his tray of food and sends him a questioning look. Yuta smiles bashfully and shook his head, feeling embarrassed and reminds himself to take a table far from the store.

 

 

Last night when Taeyong pulled him to where Seulgi and Irene were being bothered by some strangers, he was making a quick speech in his head how to shoo them away. Because he remembered correctly that Taeyong did said they had to pretend they we're the girls' boyfriends. Yet when they approached, Taeyong told the guys, "Why are you bothering these two girlfriends on a date?". Yuta's jaw dropped along with the guys, yet it worked and departs from them. He imagined Seulgi being pissed at Taeyong's remark yet she was nonchalant with Irene and thanked the two of them. Saying the guys that are probably on their last year of middle school have been bothering them for awhile.

 

 

Yuta was about to take a seat when he noticed familiar figures on the far left of the cafeteria. It was Doyoung and he makes his way to them, surprised that it was Sooyoung standing up and bowing at him.

 

 

"Oh...hey." Yuta stutters his greeting.

 

 

"Good morning. I'll go ahead." She smiled and Yuta nods like an idiot. She looks tired.

 

 

Soccer training was tiresome enough. But the people in the theatro works their minds off for performance ideas, in additional to creating props, beffiting choreographies and powerful vocalizations. Being always present at any school events. There must always be a creative different concepts.

 

 

Yuta watches her leave. It wasn't like any attraction he felt to anyone before, it was different, probably something more than that but he couldn't find the words to interpret it. He tried explaining it to Ten once but the younger accused it was simply lust and Yuta quickly dismisses the topic. Everything about Sooyoung draws him in. The butterflies in his stomach are frantic that he couldn't even utter a word when she's around. He stopped playing the pretend-not-to-be-too-obvious too because his eyes couldn't see anything else whenever she's in sight.

 

 

He was probably staring for too long and Doyoung tapped the table.

 

 

Yuta was pulled out of his trance and looks at Doyoung, placing his tray on the table and takes a seat. "Did you two get the main roles again?" He asked, hoping his voice didn't sound weird.

 

 

He nods. "You're here for a training?"

 

 

"Not really." Yuta answers, beggining to eat. The soup tastes better when it's hot. "The AC broke and Taeyong's blaming me for it, I had to leave."

 

 

"He still treats you like shit." Doyoung chaffed, trying not to laugh.

 

 

"Seems like everyone have taken a liking in doing so. It must be fun to treat me like crap, don't you think?"

 

 

Doyoung hissed, leaning back. "Dude, if you're this dramatic you should've been an actor instead of a player, since we need a replacement."

 

 

Yuta tries to shake off whatever it is that's bothering him and shook his head.

 

 

"Still considering of trading rooms with Jae?"

 

 

"Not really." Yuta says, sipping on his coffee. "Taeyong had the attention span of a one year old. He often forgets that he's mad at me anyway."

 

 

"He does and says what he wants. He was a tough guy in grade school."

 

 

"He still is." Yuta agrees. "Taeyong is someone who'd punch anyone that pesters Seulgi."

 

 

"Definitely."

 

 

"Ten told me Taeyong was your type." Yuta digs in. He doesn't really disregard the fact that anyone of his friends can be gay, because it didn't matter at long as they treat each other fairly. Though he doesn't really know what's a joke to what is not his friends tell him. So he simply notes what they say, without actually believing them. What has changed? He wants to add.

 

 

"Well yeah, why not." Was Doyoung's answer.

 

 

Yuta only nods. Doyoung could be lying, considering how excited he gets every time they hang out with pretty girls. He doesn't remember Doyoung talking about being turned on by guys, unless Doyoung only tells Ten and keeps it from him.

 

 

The afternoon classes ended with Yuta spacing out through most of it. Taeyong probably noticed he was distracted, pestering the whole day when he figures Yuta is in no mood to talk. Perhaps he's trying to get on Yuta's nervous, considering how much he claims Yuta has gotten on his.

 

 

"Do you think you did well on the quiz?" Taeyong asked.

 

 

"I didn't study."

 

 

The two of them talking and walking side by side in the hallways after class is a very unfamiliar scene. But Yuta isn't angry and laughing inwardly at how persistent Taeyong is on attempting to annoy him.

 

 

"Are you going anywhere?" Yuta asked calmly and he heard Taeyong sighed, probably given up.

 

 

"Seulgi orders to buy her a book."

 

 

"Where?"

 

 

"At the plaza."

 

 

"Can I come with you?" Yuta asked.

 

 

"Don't you have a practice at 4."

 

 

"Oh. How did you know?"

 

 

"I had it marked on my weekly schedule as quality time with myself without Yuta around." Taeyong tells him with a bright smile.

 

 

He's really hopeless, Yuta thinks. "So let's go?"

 

 

 

The bookstore was bigger than Taeyong describes it to be. They used the computer search log at the entrance but therethere exists hundred of books of almost the same title and Seulgi didn't face them much information to be sure.

 

 

They've been roaming around for awhile, marking the list of the book shelves they already searched through. This time, it was a tall shelf that they had to use the stair. Yuta insists he'd do it instead of Taeyong to avoid any accidents and ask of him to hold the stairs for support instead.

 

 

"Is this one?" Yuta asked for the umpteenth time, showing another book to Taeyong yet again.

 

 

"Yuta, no! Color aqua blue not sky blue." Taeyong glowers at him.

 

 

"Huh? Isn't that the same? How would I know." Yuta scratches the back of his head, placing the book back.

 

 

"You're so boring. This is why Sooyoung doesn't like you back." Taeyong quips.

 

 

Yuta's intellect was cautious at the mention of the name. It had nothing to do with the petulant spat they're having so he guesses Taeyong only said it out of nowhere.

 

 

"You're right." He says bitterly, chuckling. This isn't the first time Taeyong is mentioning this matter but Yuta isn't ticked off at the intrusion. Maybe because it was Taeyong. But that argument is pretty much as unreasonable. "Taeyong, I found it."

 

 

Taeyong gasped. "Really?"

 

 

Yuta hummed, picking the book. "I think it's this one." He hands the book to Taeyong who got a little too excited. "Taeyong, I'm going to--'I'm going to fall. Hold the stairs, please!"

 

 

"Have you not fell already?" Was his witty remark, laughing.

 

 

Yuta knows what it was Taeyong is pertaining to and he laughed, relieved that The other is supporting the stairs again as he climbs down. "Are you hungry?" His question fell on deaf ears because Taeyong is too occupied with his phone. Probably telling Seulgi the good news. "I'm sure she's aware there are thousands of books titled 'Messages', she might just be fooling you around."

 

 

Taeyong looks at him.

 

 

"Also don't do this when you're alone. You're so sloppy. To assist an injured roommate isn't something I look forward to." Yuta chuckled, but Taeyong was unmmoving and looking perplexed.

 

 

"That's fine. Seulgi will take care of me." Taeyong says, confident.

 

 

"Really? She'd help you change? She'd accompany you to the bathroom? Tell me." Yuta queries, a playful smirk on his lips. He studied Taeyong's face, brows knitted and lips pulled into a thin line, and he looks rather intolerably fascinating when he's puzzled. Yuta regrets this initiation since he'd long admitted to himself how envy he's always been to Taeyong's ridiculously handsome face.

 

 

"Why are you staring? You have the hots for me?" Taeyong asked, pulling a disgusted face.

 

 

It took Yuta's unawares, stiffly shaking his head. He mimics the way Taeyong's face would contort and the other laughs at this. Yuta thinks it's a majour coup to be able to laugh with Taeyong so casually like this. Their friends should've saw this scene between the two of them instead of their horrible imagines.

 

 

He left Taeyong inside the library in line to pay for the book. Yuta waits outside, tapping on his foot. A weary sigh escapes his lips at the discrepancy of his surroundings. It's like when he was with Taeyong, in between their unnecessary bickers and laughters, he forgotten all his worries. Now that Taeyong isn't around, Yuta is....

 

 

"Yuta! You left me!"

 

 

Yuta looks at Taeyong sprinting towards him. But he was too late to dodge and Taeyong whacks his head with the book they've look through for two hours. "Hey what was that for!"

 

 

"Race to the station?" Taeyong shouts, looking impatient.

 

 

Laughing, Yuta stood up running ahead of him. "To the station!"

 

 

"Cheater!"

 

 

 

\----------------------------

 

there won't be much chapters but every update will be long. thank you for reading T.T


	2. 2.

"You haven't spoken the entire lunch. Your saliva probably tastes weird now."

 

"I don't know. Wanna try it?"

 

"Yeah, give me a taste."

 

Taeyong groaned at the last part. Dropping his spoon on his plate. It's always depressive to overhear any form of conversation from the three subjects of his enmity. It doesn't matter that they're playing around, but Ten is pulling Yuta on the collar, centimeters away, and one wrong move their lips would really touch.

 

Hansol hissed at Taeyong's overt reaction and pats the smaller's head, telling him to focus on his food.

 

It's still a joke among them and Hansol might have come to go along with it, too. Scolding Taeyong more often than the ordinary knowing that the younger is terrified of him. Johnny would still mention what happened at the dinner table from two months ago. Even their younger friends makes "Hansol" an excuse probably to put Taeyong into silence.

 

What died down though, was their mockery regarding Yuta and Taeyong being roommates. The joke probably became boring because they're on talking terms now. Although Taeyong is more strict to Yuta and doesn't let him copy his homeworks unless he gets something in return. Yuta's training schedules might have changed too, because often times he's at home and helping Taeyong with the chores.

 

"But isn't Yuten so boring now." Johnny said, scrunching his face.

 

"Let's talk about Taeyong." Taeil says keenly. Clasping his hands together below his chin and Taeyong scowled at him.

 

"Right. I needed a scoop on that too." Yuta says, leaning in. He's become too nosy nowadays. Whenever he's being interrogated by little questions, he dodge them by redirecting the topic to someone else.

 

Taeyong knows exactly what they're talking about. It was last week when Krystal Jung asked for his number. He isn't the easy type, but she's so hella and Taeyong is just a man, oh well. Originally, it was for a group project and Taeyong would be lying if he said she didn't have effects on him. But now, they're on texting terms and they've had lunch a few times. Last week, Taeyong made it a custom to walk her home too.

 

"Just pray that I don't get friendzoned because she's basically a Seulgi that prefers pink over blue." Taeyong agonizes, burying his face on his palms.

 

"Seulgi and you is error 404 not found, man. It's Krystal Lee now. Don't be dicky. Have balls." Taeil tries to encourage but he's never good with words.

 

"Man, only Taeyong gets the hot girls. I'm suing this school, honestly." Johnny grumbles about. Pulling his hair out for emphasis.

 

"You gotta give hotdogs a try." Doyoung suggest.

 

"You gotta shut up." Kun mimics his tone.

 

"Maybe if you were a little quiet, you will." Winwin insinuates. Oblivious as to how much it would offend the other that's dramatically clutching his chest now while the others laugh at him. "It's because you're goodlooking and tall but." He redeems his comment but fails again.

 

"Ten is talktative too. Does that mean he's never getting a girlfriend?" Johnny challenged.

 

"Hey, hey." Ten yells, taken aback. "That was unnecessary. I'm leaving." He stood up, taking the garlic bread on Doyoung's plate and left.

 

"I don't want to be a part of the three idiots a.k.a forever single squad." Johnny fakes a gag.

 

"Who says we all are?" Yuta pries, smirking wide.

 

Taeyong leans in the table to look at him. He's just as intrigued as everyone is, to hear Yuta say that. Is he dating, then? Is he dating his crush now? Taeyong wants to know.

 

"Wow. So are you dating?" Taeil questions. "Nakamoto! Come back here!"

 

"Oh, was it Sooyoung?" Johnny's eyes grew big.

 

"Is Yuta hiding something from us?" Hansol wonders, looking at Taeyong.

 

Taeyong avoided his gaze. He knows nothing.

 

 

It was 9pm and Taeyong prepares himself for bed. They've had a group dinner after classes. It's Friday night and they have all the weekends, departing as groups and Taeyong also preferred to go home along with Yuta. He looks at the latter sitting on the bed and too engrossed on his phone. Yuta is still in his uniforms. Usually he showers after Taeyong but it's been almost an hour when Taeyong finished. He's been quiet the entire time too. Something Ten had noticed at earlier's lunch at school.

 

Taeyong makes his way to Yuta's bed and peeks to his screen. It's the game where the main player plays the bait for the other snakes to be bitten and Taeyong never quite understood it. "You didn't come with Doyoung and Jaehyun to the arcade for that?"

 

"What's wrong? Did the AC broke again?"

 

"The admin told us they replaced it today. You weren't listening." Taeyong snorts and noticed how Yuta nods absent mindedly. He's been distracted for a long while and Taeyong finds himself wanting to chime in every time he notice Yuta in this state. Although he's certain he wouldn't get a word from someone so secretive and restrained. "Hey, Yuta. I'm curious about something. Sure it's not you, so is Ten dating anyone? Or Do--"

 

Yuta paused the game and looks up at him. Taeyong leans back at the uncomfortable proximity. "Taeyong... Taeil was right. Make it work out with Krystal."

 

"Because she's so pretty?" Taeyong supposed, sitting on Yuta's desk chair.

 

"No." Yuta shook his head. "It's because you seem to like her a lot. It's nice."

 

Taeyong nods reluctantly. He's never good with expressing his emotions. If it weren't for the girls who approached or confessed to him first, he doubt he would even date anyone. Krystal was a straightforward and told Taeyong she's interested in him without further adieu. Nevertheless, Taeyong doubts things will go smoothly between them. There was one time when Taeyong walks Krystal home and introduced him to her sister but what he got was a scrutinized from head to toe and an "Again? Krystal, Are you serious?"

 

Taeyong drags his feet back to his bed and stares at the ceiling. It's just dawns at him now what Krystal's sister was supposed to mean. He really should've listened to Seulgi's warning.

 

"Krystal? Her family is rich. So rich that you might want to reconsider it." .  
Seulgi told him once.

 

"Yuta, I'm going to sleep."

 

"Good night Taeyong."

 

 

 

 

"It's the last season. I want to watch it in peace. I hope Doyoung does't come around." Taeyong says fast, slouching on the couch. He's at Jaehyun's apartment and waiting for the other to finish setting up the computer to the TV screen.

 

"He's on his room."

 

"What. This isn't his room?"

 

Jaehyun looks at him, amused. "He's roommates with Hansol hyung. You didn't know?"

 

"Woah." Taeyong laughs to himself. That can't be the case if Doyoung is in Jaehyun's room 24/7 . "Well, I wish he has a practice or something so he doesn't come here."

 

"Doyoung hyung quit at the theatro. He won't be practicing anytime soon." Jaehyun explains, searching for the remote control.

 

"What? He what? He quit?" Taeyong queries. It's the only thing Doyoung is interested in other than being a dick.

 

Jaehyun hummed, making his way to the kitchen to get food. "He forced Taeil hyung to replace for him."

 

"Why would he do that?" Taeyong shouts. He didn't want to sound incredulous, and Jaehyun isn't one to make things up. Yet, Doyoung leaving the theatro bears an explanation. So he stood up, forgetting about the anime on the T.V screen and makes his way to the door. "Jaehyun, I'm going to talk to him."

 

Taeyong didn't wait for a response. For him to quit the theater is most likely not anything big of a story since he'd known Doyoung for being temperamental and often making decisions he regrets and cries to Jaehyun about afterwards. But little or not, Taeyong insist to know.

 

He knocks to his room and waits when Taeil answers. "Hold on a minute."

 

The door swung open and Taeyong asked, "Is Do----"

 

"He left just now." Taeil answers promptly.

 

"Do you know where he went?" Taeyong asked, biting his bottom lip when Taeil shook his head. "You're like...his roommate."

 

"Do you even know where Yuta is?" Taeil shoots him a look.

 

"In our room crying over Legend Of The Blue Sea." Taeyong says confidently.

 

"A drama?" Taeil asked in horror.

 

He nods.

 

"God. This is why we never let him watch dramas. He gets so into it. He suck at feelings, Taeyong!" Taeil says dramatically, grasping both his shoulders. "He becomes a better actor than Doyoung when he watch dramas. Never let him watch, I swear. Taeyong, be that ideal roommate and turn the laptop off. Take him out."

 

He watches the older with bug-eyes. What of an unamusing request, he thought. Giving the other a quick smile before leaving. Taeil may act upright but he's just as stupid as everyone else.

 

Everyone has the right to get emotional over something. Like TV shows, Taeyong admits he'd tear up several times watching anime. Particularly from the last scene of Tokyo Ghoul when Hide died, or when Levi beat up Eren in front of Mikasa even if it's just for the show. So, Yuta, getting in so deep over a drama isn't the problem. But he noticed him even more reserved and gloomy lately. Taeyong doesn't think Yuta is the one who gets depressed over a little crush, like his little infatuation over Sooyoung that Taeil and Johnny always mentions and poke fun of him about. Most likely, he's droopy and exhausted over football trainings that he gets carried off easily. Or missing his family in Japan.

 

What welcomes Taeyong when he enters their room was Yuta coming out of the bathroom. His eyes look swollen and Taeyong fights all his urge to greet back with a question if he's done crying over a mermaid. Most likely they've been staring at each other for seconds until Yuta asked,

 

"You said you won't be back till evening?"

 

"Don't want me around?"

 

Yuta looked so taken aback that Taeyong dismissed his question with a laugh.

 

"Yuta, can you come with me to the mall? I need to get something." Taeyong asked, hesitant. Afterall, he listened to Taeil suggestion when he saw Yuta looking like that.

 

Yuta nods quick.

 

The street traffic through the mall is the heaviest during the weekends. Taeyong tries not to sleep to their whole ride in the bus because Yuta didn't even say a word. Too occupied on looking out the window and Taeyong didn't want to bother him. He'd probably bothered Yuta enough already when he ask him for a companion today.

 

On their way to the store's department, Taeyong felt so attracted by the window displays of stuffed toy claw machines in the arcades. He was about to ask Yuta to try them but he's reminded how many times it had been that Yuta declined to tag along when Ten and Doyoung asking him to the arcade. So it should be a lot easier for Yuta refuse to him. Taeyong takes it as Yuta being bad with the games and got tired of them, which is likely unavoidable to slip out his mouth when Yuta rejects him. But Yuta doesn't seem like he's in any mood to argue at all.

 

They've been strolling the department store for about an hour and Taeyong is vexed at how useless of an accompaniment Yuta is. He needs someone's opinion of what gift to get but Yuta only nods and says "cute" on anything Taeyong shows him.

 

Taeyong battles over getting the blue teddy bear that has a basketball shirt on and a cap or the yellow one with a heart on the chest. "The blue has pretty details but the color is too dark. The yellow is really cute too, but it's too plain and boring. What do you think, Yuta?"

 

Yuta nods absent-mindedly. "You seem nice. And Krystal seems like a girlfriend who appreciates anything."

 

"Girlfriend?" Taeyong scoffs. He was asking for Yuta's judgment about the bear and not his judgment towards his and Krystal's relationship. "Krystal isn't my girlfriend. I just like her. Also, I asked you here for coherent opinions and not for you to have a stiffneck for nodding."

 

"Oh." Yuta made an 'o' face. "But aren't you supposed to know what she likes if you like her?"

 

Taeyong knitted his brows and remembers his catch with Taeil, so he asked, "Do you even know what Sooyoung likes?"

 

Yuta sneered at the question. "Sooyoung doesn't like anything romantic. She hates movies and books about love stories. She hates the noise. She hates the rain. She hates chocolates."

 

"But Yuta, those are things that she dislikes, not the things that she likes. And if there's anything that's not on the list of what she dislikes, don't mean she likes them." Taeyong stand there, watching Yuta inspects through the pile of stuffed animals. He didn't say anything but Taeyong knows he's listening so he continues. "What's the point of knowing what she dislikes? So you know what to avoid? Because I'm sure it isn't anything like, so the both of you can hate things in common. Yuta.... why is there a need for you to feel that you have to tiptoe with everyone around you?"

 

Yuta looks at him. But he doesn't seem angry, rather diverted and Taeyong didn't feel sorry about prying.

 

"I know it's easy for me to say because I'm not in your place, but, if you like her that much then talk to her. Tell her how you feel, if you must. Because if you don't, then you'll never know how many chances you'll be missing." He urges. Believing that her and Yuta are only lacking communication that made things as complicated as they are now.

"It's not difficult. But it's not easy either. And there are chances I'd rather miss than lose what I have." Yuta says. He walks over Taeyong who's face contorted at the incomprehension, patting the top of his head. Yuta grins wide when Taeyong stepped back a little. "And sorry about that. I was thinking ahead of you and Krystal being together. I got excited."

 

Taeyong made a face that he sure was controlled than what he always does but Yuta still laughed. "Aren't you romantic. Besides, I'm buying a gift for Seulgi. She was sick and missed school for a week."

 

"Taeyong." Yuta calls and Taeyong looked up at him. "Are you sure you aren't in love with Seulgi like what you're telling everyone?"

 

"Yes." Taeyong nods. "I thought we're over this. I'm getting this yellow one so we could go home. You seem tired."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You all wanted this. You've all trained for this. Don't make me regret choosing any of you to be in the team."

 

"Yes sir!" They chorused.

 

He straightens his back when the coach stops in front of him. Yuta and his teammates are lined in the field. The team's coach may not be approachable, but he's attentive and kind. It was infrequent for him to lecture his players so today is a distinct day. Today, Yuta is just as nervous as everyone is. Because the rant was particularly aimed at him.

 

"I only take game concerns for discussions. So it's either you run in the field for a goal, or you run out the field to quit. See you tomorrow."

 

"Yes, sir!"

 

The tension eases only when their coach dismissed for the day. Everyone heaving out a sigh only when their coach left. Yuta takes in a deep audible breath. His knees are still hurting because of how many times he tripped on the field in the game; limbs heavy and he finds it hard to even stand straight. Their team lost today. Yuta came in late. Usually, he stays in the field the whole game. Whenever Yuta is running the ball, it was difficult to steal. But today, he was on the bench on the second quarter because of his poor performance.

 

Yuta stares blankly on the ground when Jungwoo pats his back, coaxing him. "It's okay, man. Let's do better next time."

 

"I'm sorry, man. I was a wack."

 

Jungwoo shakes his head. "It's not always that we win. Stop blaming yourself, Nakamoto. Let's work hard for the game next week."

 

Yuta forced a smile but it turns out a sad one and watches him leave. Jungwoo is only saying that the lose was fine. But Yuta knows his head is in the game more than anyone in the team. Yuta envies his passion. How his love for football is guaranteed unlike Yuta who isn't as happy as his teammates when in the field. His team mates trust Yuta the most, passing him the ball at any turn. They could've won if Yuta made a goal. But, he never did.

 

There was no one in when Yuta gets back to their dorm room. He took a long shower, thinking. It was his fault that they lose and he felt ashamed. He didn't want to attend the game from the beginning. But if he was to ditch it, he wouldn't be able to explain why. It's not like emotional torture is a valid reason to miss a game and use it as an excuse to his coach. As much as he wants to set aside his feelings, he couldn't. Instead, it crushes him completely. That he could feel his chest hurting physically, his lungs tightening until he can't breathe Originally, he didn't have it this bad. But knowing too much is making him nuts. Yuta just wishes all his uncertainties are wrong.

 

Yuta is on the bed, drying his hair when Taeyong burst in the door and slams it close, slumping on his own bed. It's 9 o'clock late and Taeyong is still on his uniforms, just arrived home probably. "What's wrong?" He asked.

 

"She lied to me again." Taeyong says, his voice cracked at the last part.

 

"What did she do this time?" Yuta asked. The last time Taeyong acted like this was last week, for the same reason. But he never really tell what happened.

 

Taeyong looks at him blankly and Yuta thought he'd finally tell what's going on. "Winwin told me you tripped. Is your leg okay?"

 

"Ah, yes." Yuta nods. Attempting to hide the wound when Taeyong walks towards him. "They gave me a first aid."

 

"Gross." Taeyong scrunched his face at the sight. "Well I wouldn't wanna witness that. I'm just glad I didn't watch the game."

 

Yuta playfully jerks his knee towards Taeyong making him screech.

 

"But hey." Taeyong started, situating himself to sit on Yuta's bed. "What's wrong with you lately?"

 

On that question, Yuta is back to feeling uneasy. It was inarguable, whatever is wrong with him. It was as difficult to explain as it is to bear. But Taeyong is there, and he was so entertaining that Yuta always forgets his worries whenever he's around.

 

"Are you broke? Or is your heart broke? Did Sooyoung turn you down? Tell me." Taeyong demands.

 

Yuta glance at him but looks away in an instant. Taeyong's intent gaze was making him uncomfortable. Instead of a proper answer, Yuta rest his head on Taeyong shoulder. "Because you didn't watch my game. I was sad."

 

"Yuta, get off." Taeyong says calmly, shoving him away. "That's romantic. Never tell Sooyoung that."

 

"Oh. Did I disturbed some---"

 

"No. Your face itself is disturbing." Taeyong answers quick, standing up and transfers to his own bed.

 

Startled, Yuta lifts his head up from Taeyong's shoulder at the sound of the booming voice that enters the room. Johnny remained slacked jaw at the door frame, while Ten and Doyoung force their way in and walk to Yuta's bed. Ten sat on his desk chair while Doyoung stood by the window.

 

"We came to check on you." Ten tells Yuta seriously.

 

He laughed because Ten looks like he's about to cry when he leans in to see Yuta's wound. "What can you do about it?"

 

"Does it hurt?" Doyoung asked, sitting on his bed.

 

For a moment, Yuta looks at him and nods. "It hurts. A lot."

 

"They gave you first aid but that could still be infected." Doyoung tells them both.

 

"Yuta, let's take you to the hospital." Ten agrees, placing a hand on Yuta's uninjured leg. "They could give you proper medication to reduce the pain."

 

"Hey." Yuta snickered at Ten's extreme worried expression. "It's nothing serious. It's just a wound. I've had them worse before."

 

"But you just said it hurts a lot! Or are you lying?!" Ten scowled, pinching him on the leg.

 

"Oh, stop stop!" Yuta screeched, glancing around the room. Johnny is still by the doorframe, watching them and Taeyong isn't around anymore ."I'm not lying. It really does hurts but it's something I could take. I'm not a liar. I don't lie to the people I care for."

 

"Dickhead!" Ten scoffed, hitting Yuta on the chest.

 

Yuta studied Ten's face. But there was nothing else to it than his habitual scolding every time Yuta hurts himself on the game.He avoids to look at Doyoung's direction who's probably staring.

 

"Where did Taeyong go?" Doyoung asked Johnny.

 

"He went to Jaehyun's room. Poor guy found his chance to be alone with Jaehyun and his anime. Go bother them, Doyoung." Johnny says.

 

"Yeah go bother them. Intrude their quality time. Since you're good at it." Yuta says in silence. "At pissing off Taeyong." He adds.

 

"When did you become interested at pissing him off?" Ten cracks up.

 

Yuta didn't look when Doyoung moves forward, patting him on the shoulders twice. But he does when Doyoung squeezed him, and he was greeted with a smile. "Get well soon." He says, and they all watch him leave the room to which Johnny followed.

 

"Man." Ten calls. "What were you and Taeyong doing when we entered the room?"

"What?" Yuta momentarily paused and asked in return.

 

"What were guys doing?" Ten repeats. "You seemed.. Sweet.... I don't know."

 

"Man, that's." Yuta glowers at him, lost in words.

 

"Be thankful Doyoung didn't saw that." Ten shook his head.

 

"Saw what?"

 

"He'll be jealous and beat you up. That wouldn't be the only wound you'll be crying about." Ten tells him. "But we still gotta make him choose between Taeyong or Jaehyun. Let's interrogate him later in front of everyone."

 

"What are you saying?" Yuta sneered. "Don't be stupid. It's not like he really likes any of them."

 

Ten looks at him incredulous. "What do you mean what am I saying? I mean, he's told everyone that. Besides, he's pretty obvious with both of them so."

 

Yuta was about to butter up the word "obvious" and Doyoung in one sentence, but Taeyong was bursting in the room with annoyed expression. Ten signals Yuta to dismiss the topic by sending him a glance, and he nods. It's almost funny how Ten takes care of the two the of them; of Yuta's wounds, and of Doyoung's secrets.

 

"What happened to you?" Yuta asked Taeyong.

 

"Doyoung happened." Taeyong hisses. Rummaging through his closet.

 

"Did he bother you again? Johnny told him to bother you. " Yuta says.

 

Ten sends him a look that says it was Yuta's idea as well. Putting his lips into a thin line in a teasing manner and Yuta reached out to flick at his forehead.

 

"Yuta tried to stop him." Ten adds, controlling his laughter and Yuta flicked him again. And Taeyong was nodding as though he was assured Yuta really did that when he's actually a starter.

 

Yuta ends up snickering with Ten but sports a serious face when Taeyong looks at them. A hoodie folded to his chest, and he asked, "Where are you going this late?"

 

"Coffee." Taeyong answers.

 

"You're still on your uniforms."

 

Taeyong hummed. "Should I get you something?"

 

"I'm fine." Yuta says. "Are you going alone?"

 

"I don't know." Taeyong answers, leaving them both.

 

"Sure she's going with Krystal. Or Seulgi." Ten laughed. "Ain't he smooth? Dating two girls. Can't believe Lee Taeyong is a sneaky bastard."

 

"Hey don't call him that. He might cry."

 

"But dude, I was really worried. And I'm sure you're stupid and still going to attend the training tomorrow." Ten glooms over. He may be rude and sarcastic but being overly worried towards his friends is one of his best quality. This is how he differs from Doyoung. Who wouldn't even flinch unless someone is dying, he might shed a tear or two.

 

"Yeah, man." Yuta goes along, making a pained expression even when Ten saw right through him in an instant. "It hurts so much but I think pizza will do."

 

"Fine fine. Change clothes. I'll wait outside." Ten stood up, groaning in defeat.

 

 

 

The wound didn't hurt as much as it looks, red and swollen. But if Ten wants to pamper him to the point where he offered himself as Yuta's crutch, then there's no room for refusing. The younger basically carried him from the station to their table at the pizza parlor.

 

"If Doyoung finds out we abandoned him, he'll kill us." Ten grumbled about and munches on the pizza. "We really should've asked him to come."

 

Ten is clingy. Not caring how much he irks both of them for the sake of getting attention. Ten is like the foundation of this friendship. He wants the three of them to always be together that Yuta is confused if he also likes the idea alone, or if he likes it because it's Ten's.

 

"I just wanted some alone time with you."

 

"Lies. You want to eat everything all to yourself." Ten rolled his eyes. "It's fine though. That. He isn't around. I, sort of, want to ask you something. About Doyoung."

 

Yuta looks at him perplexed. He's been thinking about how to dive onto that matter since the car ride but for Ten to start it sounding so hesitant. Just as he was about to ask what's going on, Ten starts talking.

 

"Do you know why he quit the theatro?" Ten asked. "He never really told me until I overheard Taeil and Hansol talking about it. I haven't asked him either."

 

Yuta bits at his tongue to not repeat the question for an answer. It was a surprise. He was going to rant to Ten as why would he ask him when Doyoung is more laid out to him than he'll ever be to Yuta. But Ten looks just as confused as he is and he probably couldn't grasp either as to why Doyoung would do that. Does it have to do with...

 

"Well, never mind. He's probably just tired. Remember last year when he almost fainted while performing? He probably didn't want that to happen again. Besides, extra-corricular activities don't do much on academic grades. He's so tired nowadays, I don't know, maybe he needs some rest." Ten supposed, looking convince at his own reasoning.

 

Yuta is unconvinced that it was it. He doesn't really know Doyoung, but he's performing ever since he was little and just like soccer field and Yuta, he's sure that Doyoung and the stage are inseparable. Despite being his close friend for long years, he's another level more reserved than Yuta is. Doyoung and Yuta could be friends for enjoying the same thing, but to one another, a shoulder isn't free for one to lean on. They never tell each other's troubles unless Ten is involved. It was like an unspoken rule between them.

 

Yuta believed all along that he's the only stranger in their friendship. That Doyoung's world is Ten's too and the other way around. That was understandable since they've known each other longer before Yuta arrived . But judging from Ten's uneasiness, it may not be the case and Yuta must've just looked too much into it. Doyoung might have been tight-lipped towards everybody.

 

Yuta stopped his train of thoughts when he looked out the glass window and noticed a familiar figure from a distance. It only takes a squint to recognize that it was Taeyong, with what could be Krystal. Yuta couldn't make out what they were doing but....

 

"Hello, Earth to Yuta. My throat is hurting and you haven't even say a word. Are you even listening?" Ten quibbles, leaning in and blocking Yuta's view with his face.

 

"Ye--Yes. Yes." Yuta was pulled out of his trance and stuttered.

 

"Alright. Let's go." Ten announce, pocketing his phone.

 

"Huh--where are we going?" Yuta asked. Glancing outside but Taeyong is already out of sight.

 

"Home? You just said you want to go home, didn't you." Ten shook his head, standing up. "Obviously you needed a rest, man. Not a pizza."

 

"Y--Yeah. Let's go home."

 

Rather than going home, Ten takes him to a hospital clinic first and his wound was clean the second time. Not only that, Ten demands the doctor to sign Yuta a medical certification so he could be excused from the training for a day or two. Yuta lost his tongue to complain because Ten may be exaggerating but Yuta is grateful that someone cares.

 

 

 

When Yuta gets back to their apartment, Taeyong who's was standing by the window got startled upon his entrance. Yuta recalls what he saw and was about to ask Taeyong what just happened.

 

"Yuta, you went to the clinic alone?" Taeyong asked, worried.

 

Yuta guesses Taeyong figured by the medicine bag he was holding. His answer died on his throat when he looks at Taeyong and sees his eyes swollen. Yuta can't be wrong about what he saw.

 

"You could've asked Ten or Doyoung to accompany you."

 

"Taeyong," Yuta starts, making Taeyong looks at him. The latter who understands that Yuta saw right through him directs his eyes elsewhere. "Why would she push you away like that? Why, why would she hit you?"

 

"What did you saw?" Taeyong asked in stern voice. Looking a mix of pained and angered. As though Yuta had stepped onto his privacy and crushed it completely.

 

If anything, Yuta wouldn't want to see it either. Taeyong getting helplessly pushed and slapped isn't something he expects to see looking out a pizza store's glass window. Not when he'd seen enough of him going home everyday burdened by the same reason. To see Taeyong getting hurt physically is another thing.

 

"Taeyong, you shouldn't let her hurt you like that." Yuta says, trying to reach out to hold his wrist but Taeyong stepped back. As much as he doesn't want to intrude, it doesn't feel right for Yuta to not do anything. Taeyong doesn't deserve to be hurt. "Even if you love her so much. You shouldn't just get used to her treating you that way. Taeyong, you deserve better."

 

"Who do you think you are telling me that? You know nothing!" Taeyong let him away.

 

It puts Yuta to silence when Taeyong told him that. He should've thought it over and knew his place before trying to butt in. The anglesare all wrong, and Taeyong was right, because to him, Yuta is just a nobody.

 

Thus, Yuta apologized and excuses himself. Taking another leave to the door. If there's any emotion Yuta loathes other than jealousy, it's the feeling of being discarded

 

On the upper hand, whenever Yuta feels unwanted, he runs to their younger friends. They are consistently bright and welcoming. Which reminds Yuta of his little sister back in Japan. The excessively warm welcome he got from his first step on the younger's room is almost funny. Yuta was treated like a baby by the people that are actual babies. The youngest, Jisung, who also loves soccer, looked so dear commanding everyone how to treat an injured player. And Yuta was coddled to sleep on Renjun's bed who opts to sleep on the couch for Yuta.

 

 

 

 

Candy Crush has never been this frustrating. For half an hour, Yuta is stuck on the same level. It was 3 am when Yuta wakes and comes back to their room. As much as he wants to get back to sleep due fatigue, in addition to the pain reliever tablet that's making him drowsy, but he couldn't just shut-eye to Taeyong not being home at this hour. He felt guilty. Taeyong was in hell, yet Yuta had to made it worse thinking he could help with his careless mouth.

 

It's just Yuta who supposes he could be a useful friend, anyway. Last night, Taeyong made it clear that Yuta has no right to pry onto his life. Even so, Yuta is still dialing his number. Taeyong isn't answering, or so might think that Yuta is trying to meddle again. But it doesn't matter as long as he picks up so Yuta can go back to sleep. But his hopes died when he lifts his head and saw Taeyong's phone lying on his bed.

 

"Well, damn." Yuta muttered to himself.

 

Yuta decides it's time to do something so he stood up to change. Taeyong could just be in Jaehyun's room. Or if he had to talk to Doyoung to see if he knows Taeyong's whereabouts, he'll do it.

 

"Jaehyun." Yuta calls, and walks to follow him. Right when he got out of his room, Jaehyun is passing by the hallway.

 

"Hyung. Why are you awake at this time? I'm going to jog." Jaehyun tells him.

 

"C--can I come with you?" Yuta asked, and entered the elevator.

 

"Sure, hyung. But aren't you injured?"

 

Yuta only tells Jaehyun his concern once they're outside the dorm building. Whatever Taeyong never tells just anyone, Jaehyun probably knows.

 

"Jaehyun, do you know where Taeyong is?" He asked.

 

"Oh, isn't he sleeping?"

 

Yuta bit his tongue. So Taeyong isn't on his dorm room. "Actually, I don't know where he went." He admits, and felt even more guilty by the strangled expression Jaehyun let's out.

 

"Did something happen? I don't have my phone with me." Jaehyun says, worried. "Can you call him?"

 

"He left his phone in the room." Yuta answers, and Jaehyun is looking at him with expectant eyes to hear more. "Last night, he was prickly. And I sort of, said things to him, and he took it the wrong way. He got angry."

 

"Hyung, you mean he run out last night? Oh my, where could he be?" Jaehyun frets.

 

"I thought you'd know." Yuta supposes.

 

"Hyung, go back up and ask Doyoung hyung or Johnny. I'll jog to the girls dorm and ask the security, maybe he's with Seulgi. Okay?"

Yuta nods and watches Jaehyun jogs. It's still too early to bother anyone. He stood by the street light and leans on the fence. It's dark and there were no cars on the road. Where could Taeyong possibly be at this time? It's freezing outside but Yuta tries to ignore the cold that stings the wound on his knee. He hopes Jaehyun can find him on the girls dorm. Most likely, he'll run to Seulgi on situations like this.

 

It's not like he wanted to see Krystal pushing Taeyong and slapping him. That wasn't a sight to see. How can Taeyong even tolerate that when Yuta knows him as one of the people with the very least patience in the world. It's not that Yuta wants to see him hit her back. Besides, it's not like he's sure that she did it only because she wanted. Or maybe Taeyong did something that made her do that. But still, it was unreasonable to hurt someone.He just wishes Taeyong hadn't done anything awful for him to deserve that. He's very restrained and clever, and isn't stupid like Yuta anyway.

 

"Yuta?"

 

Yuta searched for the voice and saw Taeyong about to enter the dorm building. "Taeyong!" He calls, and dashed towards him with pained leg. "Wh--what happened to you?"

 

"Why are you outside at this hour? I thought you were sleeping with the kid--"

 

"Where did you go?" Yuta cuts him. "I tried calling you but you left your phone."

 

Taeyong hummed. "It's dead so I didn't bring it with me. I went to Krystal. I couldn't sleep when something is wrong so."

 

Yuta sighed, that sounded rather exhaustion than relief that had Taeyong looking down the ground. "It's good that you made up with her. I just hope that kind of thing don't happen again."

 

"Huh?" Taeyong grunts. "I didn't made up with her. I--- I ended things with her. You were right. I shouldn't let myself get hurt like that. Thank you. And I'm sorry for even shouting at y--"

 

"You what?" Yuta asked, confused with what could be a very rash decision that Taeyong made. "Taeyong, what if what you feel in the morning, or the next day, isn't the same as you feel right now?"

 

Those still aren't the right words either. That Yuta is worried Taeyong might tell him off once again. But that doesn't seem like it, when Taeyong looks so down-and-out, keeping still and avoiding his gaze.

 

"Then I'll just be hurt, and act like I wasn't. Like you always do."

 

Yuta's lips curved into a smirk. That was the biggest ego strike he'd ever heard in awhile. Not matter what situation, Taeyong is still clever and incredulous.

 

When they climb back to their dorms, Yuta jumps up to his bed. "I forgot something." He says.

 

"What? That your wound is hurting and you have to act it out?" Taeyong supposes.

 

"What are you saying?" Yuta looks at him impossibly. "Jaehyun was going for a jog but I told him to look for you instead. I'd text him but he doesn't have his phone with him."

"Oh?" Taeyong uttered. "That's unfortunate. In the morning I'd tell him you were lying and that I was sleeping soundly on my bed. He keeps on telling me you're nice. I can't wait for him to hate you."

 

"This time, I'm really going to hit you." Yuta warns half-heartedly.

 

"No ,thanks. Not interested." Taeyong quips.

"I said hit you! Not hit on you!"

 

And Yuta fell asleep with how soothing Taeyong's laugh sounded.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

" _For how long have you been lying to me?"_

_"It's not what you think. What do you know?"_

_"No. I didn't know. But I've been sensing it. It just felt so frustrating that I couldn't fend for myself being treated like a complete stupid."_

_"Don't say that. You matter to me that's why I felt so guilty. I wasn't happy."_

_"And now you're taking a pity on me? What, are you crazy? Or are you making fun of me again?"_

_"But, it's over now. I'm sorry for what happened."_

_"It's not about whether it's over or not. It's about you, who calls yourself my friend, fooling me and faking it all along."_

_"You have all the right to be angry. It was all my fault. I did wrong. Again, I'm sorry. Let's talk again another time when you give me another chance to explain."_

_"I have nothing to say to you anymore."_

 

 

 

 

 

Keeping the dorm clean became a downhill to have a helping hand. Taeyong is thankful of his roommate's freewill to be of help since school is always a hassle in the middle of the semester. But now, he's back on doing things alone, and a Yuta apologizing to the chores he always claims to "forgot" to do.

 

Amidst to this, Taeyong figures Yuta isn't just gloomy because he's been listening a lot to My Chemical Romance, but because he really is. He isn't as talkative either. When before, Taeyong is annoyed by his bright gummy smile, now he'd miss seeing it.

 

It's saddening to see Yuta pretending to be playful and laughing around everyone as well. It was obvious that he was faking it, by the way his eyes are dull, or how his lips turn into a thin line immediately after he smiles. He'd gotten quite some scolding from their teachers already for spacing out. Taeyong had heard enough of Ten's exasperation too for Yuta ditching their night outs together with Doyoung.

 

These are the little things Taeyong starts to distinguish and he wonders why he even sees.

 

"Hey, you look like you can't do all that alone. You look tired. I'll give you a hand?"

 

Taeyong continues on washing the chicken meat on the sink and gestures Yuta to hand him the tray. How come Taeyong will look tired after sleeping for ten hours straight? That's was a lie, Taeyong knows Yuta leaves the dining table because everyone was there. Everyone Yuta wants to avoid.

 

"Can you cut them for me?" Taeyong orders, pointing at the pile of vegetables on the table.

 

"Sure."

 

Taeyong tries not to laugh watching Yuta helplessly cut the tomatoes. He proceeds to the stove and boil the meat. "Doyoung told me you were back on the court yesterday. I fell asleep last night I couldn't congratulate you. So, congrats player number 10."

 

"I thought you were going to watch yesterday. Seulgi was there too." Yuta says, focusing intently on the knife.

 

"Hey, is your jersey number 10 because you're in love with Ten?" He wonders.

 

Yuta choked at the question. "I've been using that number before I even met him. And it's my lucky number. I was born on the 10th month too. It had nothing to do with him."

 

"Oh come on!" Taeyong glowers at him. "I've heard you love to watch yaoi themed movies. I'm sure you believe in gay love. Ten and you are probably destined."

 

Yuta was unmoving and only staring at Taeyong incredulously. "Let me remind you that I am holding a knife."

 

Taeyong gestures to zip on his mouth and turned his back on him. He really needs to control his mouth when talking to Yuta now that he's gotten so pissy. In grade school, he remembered getting punched a lot for being mouthy but that was fine, but getting stabbed with a knife probably isn't. He's lucky Jaehyun entered the kitchen and asked what he can help with and so, he could abandon his current assistant, Yuta.

 

He concocts the flavors for the sauces and lets Jaehyun taste it and decide. In addition, he makes a vegetable salad like Yuta requested. Yuta stayed in the kitchen for awhile, eating anything edible he finds on the fridge. It's only when he left when Jaehyun talks.

 

"Someone's asking for his number."

 

"Who? Yuta?"

 

Jaehyun hummed. "Yes, someone really pretty in my class has a crush on him."

 

"Someone has a crush on Yuta?" Taeyong sputters with a laugh. "Has she lost her head?"

 

"Oh, honestly I'd say the same thing if someone likes you." Jaehyun says, smiling sheepishly which intends he meant what he said.

 

Taeyong ignores the harsh comment but squints his eyes at him although he agrees. Yuta is someone so gentle and patient. Those are the best of his qualities Taeyong began to distinguish now that he doesn't disregard Yuta's presence. He wasn't apathetic, or what Taeyong would like call it, an asshole. He figured Yuta was quiet because prefers to listen. Unlike Taeyong who's probably a total opposite, fretful and nuts, and doubts if there is even any good quality of himself.

 

 

 

 

Taeyong doesn't think Yuta is the type to base on appearance. So when Johnny pulled him out of his Algebra class one day to rant about how much of a dimwit Yuta is wasting oppurtunities of getting hot girls being obsessed over someone who doesn't like him back, didn't surprised Taeyong.

 

As far as he knows----heard from their friends, Yuta likes her ever since his first year in their middle school. Sooyoung is smart and has a superiority complex, the way Taeyong describes her, so he doesn't really know what Yuta sees in her. Even Seulgi admits having her as a roommate was forbidding. So it must have been an illustration that everyone has a different perspective and preferences from others. It's not like Sooyoung and Yuta are friends either. Nor is she oblivious to Yuta's affection to her. But judging from how the things remained the same between them all these years, it's an obvious outcome whether Yuta makes advances or not. Taeyong thinks that if that's the same footing all these time, Yuta should've changed his mind about her by now.

 

"Dude, Yiyang is basically a beauty queen." Johnny says for the umpteenth time.

 

"She is. But, " Taeyong says finally. He hasn't say anything when Johnny dragged him out to the lockers and only listening.

 

"But? She looks like Krystal so she isn't your type either?" Johnny supposes.

 

"That's not it." Taeyong sends him a glare. "We don't know what he's going through. I don't wanna talk about it."

 

"Since when did you care about what he's going through?" Johnny questioned suddenly.

 

"I don't."

 

"God, Taeyong. Chill." Johnny chaffed and had to step back at Taeyong's chagrin. "I'm sure Yuta has Ten. He ain't that much of a hermit."

 

Taeyong snorts at how clueless Johnny is. Yuta is clearly overusing the excuse of soccer training to avoid everyone including his nonessential rendezvous with any of them. So he doubts Yuta is talking to anywho.

 

"But he really did messed up yesterday's game. I'm just glad he didn't get injured again." Johnny says and lets out a heavy sigh.

 

Yesterday, Taeyong chose to go home instead of watching the game. He wouldn't want to see a stumbling Yuta on the field. Although their friends might not notice, being Yuta's roommate, Taeyong thinks he quite could cath on that something was wrong with Yuta. As much as he want to ask, he didn't want a hurl back of what he told Yuta before to stop prying. He was concern but he wouldn't want to put his nose on what Yuta doesn't want to tell him.

 

"If it's still about Sooyoung, I hope he quits. That's just not healthy anymore. They really have to talk." Johnny adds.

 

"If it's a no, she should tell him. Not leave him hanging." Taeyong insinuates.

 

"Yuta never tried talking to her so why would Sooyoung?" Johnny shook his head.

 

It was a tiring subject indeed. He always imagine putting himself on Yuta's shoes that only leads him to mental aggravation. Taeyong will never understand Yuta. Perhaps, he will never know what he's going through unless he is Yuta. So Taeyong thinks he's lucky despite what happened with his past relationships. Because at the very least, he isn't hopelessly in love with someone impossible.

 

Moreover, being his roommate, it was exhausting to see Yuta acting like the perfect company when it's apparent that he's wretched. Taeyong doesn't know when did he start concerning over him to the point where he's mirroring his mood. Jaehyun always ask him what's wrong and tells him to get over it but Taeyong swore he had long forgotten his mishap with Krystal so it's probably just Taeyong and his excessive thinking of what's wrong with Yuta. He wants to yell at Ten and Doyoung letting Yuta alone like this. It shouldn't matter if he tells them off because if they care about Yuta, they should act like the useful friends they're supposed to be.

 

"And what about you?" Johnny questions.

 

Taeyong realizes he's been staring on the ground holding a frown the whole time. He looks up at him, sporting a poker face. But his voice fails him and cracks a little when he said, "What... do you mean, what about me?"

 

It's really stupid, the worry that lingers within him. When did he become a fussbudget towards a person he claims he dislikes? He notice how Johnny scans his face and shook his head saying, "Nothing." And hopes he didn't see right through him.

 

"Dude, I'm sorry. I thought it would be hilarious to send you as his roommate for the whole year."

 

Taeyong is taken a back as to why Johnny is digging this topic suddenly after four months, and how serious his voice sounded. He counts to three and waits for Johnny to laugh, but he lets out an exasperated sigh instead. As though Yuta and Taeyong being roommates had to do with the serious conversation they're having awhile back.

 

Taeyong wants to ask why he said that, but he's afraid of what he's answer might be. Johnny may seem obtuse and blithe, but he's sharp. He'd known Taeyong for years longer than any of them. That he's able to catch on Taeyong's troubles he couldn't even comprehend himself. Like an open book, Johnny can read him clearly and was never wrong even once. Taeyong wishes Johnny isn't so sensitive when it comes to his own deed.

 

"I'm really wondering how you can forgive me. After that." Johnny adds.

But Taeyong tried not to say anything over a matter he never wants to acknowledge. So he pats Johnny on the back and excuses himself to go back to his class.

 

 

"Yuta, that's nasty."

 

Yuta isn't really conscious of his surroundings but it changed always having Taeyong around. Whether or not it's a good thing to be observed, which what he thinks he's receiving from him lately, it's profitable to be guided by someone so critical and beautiful like Taeyong. Yuta recalls how akward it felt being neglected by him. But now, Taeyong is kind enough to wipe off blood stains that got to his bangs and laboratory gown with a tissue.

 

"Don't look if you hate it so much." Yuta reminds him. It's a regular practice that they do a dissecting of frogs on every biology class. He volunteered to do it since he doubts Taeyong would even lay a hand on the said organism. Although he'd never partnered or grouped with him on any class activities, today was different because upon hearing the task they'd be doing, Taeyong sends him a blank look for a long time that turns into a pleading look. "How did you get this over with in the past years?" He asked, curious.

 

Taeyong walks back to him after washing his hands on the small faucet in the counter. And again, he's wiping the working table clean. "Johnny hates it too. So I work with Doyoung. He does everything on his own."

 

It's disappointing how all that exists requires a balance. There's no explanation as to how Taeyong simply talking to him or being around makes him forget his adversity, yet, it comes back in just one mention of a name and hits him hard. It happens more often than it should. But it's not like he could ask for Taeyong not to mention anyone he never wants to hear. That's absurd, he would think. Unless Taeyong would hear the reason and understand. But nevertheless, he might still think it's absurd. Yuta doesn't want to hope.

 

"There are exotic restaurants that serve them." Yuta says as though it was a new information."I heard frogs taste better than chicken."

 

"Don't even ever wanna try." Taeyong concludes. Judging by the amount of coaxing Yuta has given him to touch the frog at least, he would be annoyed by time. But the frown on his face is plainly how disgusted he is by the way Yuta is holding the frog's stomach and cutting it open.

 

"Poor frog. What a torture." Yuta muses. Closing his eyes when he finishes.

 

"Yuta, how dare you hurt such an innocent being."

 

"Mr. Frog, it seemed that Lee Taeyong will miss you. Please visit him on his dream tonight." Yuta stupidly says to a dead frog he just cut open.

 

"No way!" Taeyong spits, and glowers at the frog instead of Yuta. "Nakamoto Yuta is your murderer."

 

Yuta watches Taeyong, amused. The main idea was to laugh, but Taeyong looks so scared and grossed out that it's pitiable. Unaware that he'd had a finger digging inside the frog's stomach for a brief moment until Taeyong points it out. He's just glad he's wearing a two layer plastic gloves because Taeyong was decided he's never going to participate on this experiment so he lends his to Yuta.

 

They fell into silence once Yuta began to follow the gruesome steps instructed on the laboratory manual. Taeyong didn't bother to help him understand the instructions either. Yuta felt bad for Taeyong who probably felt so put out and wants to distract him from his stupor, so he asked, "What were you and Luna talking about? I saw you at the lobby."

 

Taeyong's face contorts in pain when he glanced at what Yuta was doing, taking the heart out of the frog. "Nonsense. She said Krystal wants me to come over to her house."

 

"What for?"

 

"To talk?" Taeyong says as though it was the most obvious answer ever.

 

Yuta hummed. "So, are you going to?"

 

There was a pause before Taeyong shook his head and said, "No." And Yuta felt worried for him.

 

 

The experiment was already over but Taeyong still look like all his blood has drained out of his body. When the bell rang for lunch time, he told Yuta he wasn't hungry and will head to the library to study instead. But Yuta isn't having any of that not when Taeyong was complainig how his empty stomach hurts on their first class when they both skipped breakfast to get to school on time.

 

He grabs him by the arm with a little force, careful not to hurt him and drags him to the cafeteria. Taeyong must be too wear out to squirm or even complain that it was easy for Yuta to pull Taeyong with him. When they got to their table, Yuta greets everyone and give a brief explanation as to why Taeyong looks wasted. Which they immediately understood. His hand still holding Taeyong when he noticed Johnny staring, and he lets go, excusing himself to order.

 

When he gets back with snacks on hand instead of lunch, the sitting arrangement have changed. What used to be two seats available beside one another Yuta guesses reserved for him and Taeyong, the one is occupied with Winwin and Taeyong is now sitting beside Johnny. Yuta tries not to mind and takes a seat, smiling back at Winwin who greeted him.

 

"I know someone who loves Pringles too." Ten comments, opening the container before Yuta does.

 

Yuta is aware it's a tease directed to Taeyong. That or to Seulgi who isn't even there to hear it. But it can also be just Ten wanting to reveal someone who loves Pringles yet Yuta is up to one too many conclusions.

 

"Shut up. You look like the round guy on the logo, not me." Johnny protested, causing everyone in the table to guffaw except for Yuta. And Taeyong who still look lost staring blankly on the almond jelly.

 

"God, so defensive." Ten hissed at Johnny, and he sends Yuta a chummy smile.

 

Yuta responded with a smile as friendly as possible. Ten seemed pissed off at him last night for having to ditch them once again that had the younger asking if he wants to end their friendship. The question caught him off-guard that he gapes at Ten like a goldfish that had the younger laughing instead. Ten didn't pressed him for an answer and Yuta wouldn't know what to say either. They've been part of his daily life for five years, and it had to be difficult to embrace the change if Ten just decides he doesn't want Yuta around anymore considering how disappointed he must be to how much he refused to their invites.

 

Yuta figures Ten doesn't know the truth. He may be closer to Doyoung than Yuta is to any of them, but he's sure Ten wouldn't intend to make him feel uncomfortable. Yuta didn't want to think it's just him having so much trust on Ten. But that's Ten. Ten isn't obscene, unlike.....

 

Yuta jolts in surprise when Hansol tapped him on the thigh with heavy hands. If he's been spacing out, which is most likely, Hansol is going to point it out and question him. But the older says, "You should've partnered with Taeyong on the experiment. He's really never going to do that."

 

"I did. But he kept on watching." Yuta explains and saw Taeyong glance at them from a distance. Probably aware that he's being talked about.

 

"That was half of the grade in biology, I'm glad you didn't skip the class today. Unlike what you did last year." Doyoung leans in the table and tells Taeyong.

 

"Yuta did everything." Taeyong answers.

 

Ten starts the craze, cracking up. That Doyoung followed suit that comments about how dreamy of a couple they are that had everyone in the table laughing. It was surprising how he initiates jokes that involves Yuta, even if it wasn't directly at him, as though there's nothing between them. But Yuta ignored this, and glanced at Taeyong who has a funny expression on his face.

 

What surprised him another time is Johnny who looks rather pissed at the situation. Normally, he would be laughing and add up to the mockery. But he clears his throat and says, "Shut up. Taeyong is feeling sick. That wasn't funny."

 

That might have sounded a little too serious than Johnny intends to, because even Ten who's a master of retort didn't say anything. Their table fell into an awkward silence. It's a constant custom to feel overprotective towards Taeyong. As though he was the most special. It could be the synthesis of him being exquisite, sloppy, and extremely beautiful. That everyone who sees him will have the desire to keep him from any harm. And Yuta is jealous of that in the case that he doesn't hate Taeyong, he feels the same everyone does for him.

 

Doyoung, though, pay Johnny no heed and left. When he came back, he hands Taeyong a cup of chocolate coffee. But Yuta doubts it's to console Johnny. Regardless of what went on between them, he'd known Doyoung as someone unwary of what other's think or feel about him. Nor would he consider to please anybody, not even Ten. Taeyong is an exception.

 

Doyoung tossed a pack of gum to Ten, and then to Yuta ever so casually. Yuta has barely nod for a refusal but Winwin is already taking it to claim as his.

 

"Well, thanks." Winwin said, sarcastic.

 

"Wouldn't Kun scold you and your ugly teeth for that?" Yuta whispers.

 

"Just because you have teeth straighter than your orientation, doesn't give you the right to diss aesthetically handsome people like me. I'm art." Winwin quips. Lewdly chewing the him to emphasize his nonchalance.

 

Yuta laughs because that sounds like something Taeyong would say, or should say, rather. Winwin would be very talkative and sadistic if he was better in Korean. "I get it. I get it."

 

"You're supposed to disagree, hyung." Winwin whines. "This is why you're so boring. You agree with everything."

 

Winwin have several attempts of giving Yuta a chance to be a contradict. For the essence of fun arguments, he would say. But he always fails to remember that and the fun already died when Winwin has to remind him.

 

"You are so nice, I'm getting a headache."

 

He doesn't agree on that, though. But Yuta simply concedes and accepts everything because he didn't want to cause a problem to anybody. Not a lot of people thinks the way he does, and so he was considered nice in this society.

 

"But you really are handsome, what can I do?"

 

"Oh, stop it hyung." Winwin became red on the face, hitting Yuta on the shoulder continuously.

 

Yuta responded by grabbing him on the hips. A literal order to stop him moving. Just then, he glanced at Taeyong who's watching him. He felt conscious yet again because Taeyong might yell at him about something like table manners or to stop manhandling their younger friends, so he opts to look away and focus at whatever is Ten saying instead.

 

"There's a new restaurant that opens tonight near the cafe." Ten announced. "Guess who's not coming with us."

 

Everyone in the table gave Yuta a knowing glance and starts laughing. Ten, though, pretends he didn't just slander Yuta and avoids his gaze.

 

"But still, Yuta did the experiment for T.Y. Ain't that sweet?" Ten digs and Yuta guesses Ten didn't care much about that subject, and rather said it to challenge Johnny. Yuta doesn't understand what's the big deal about it anyway to save a roommate, a friend.

 

"Everyone else will do that for Taeyong. Except you, probably. Cause you're just as gay." Johnny retorts.

 

Ten stared blankly at Johnny, and the latter got hit by Taeyong on the head. Yuta tried not to laugh at Taeyong's insulted expression.

 

 

 

 

Yuta is afraid of further questioning because as much as he wants to keep things to himself, he isn't sure how much he can hold his tongue. Especially if he's on a hot seat in front of everyone. So he ends up agreeing to coming out with Ten who's been pestering him for a week now, and Doyoung on the new restaurant Ten always talk about.

 

The meal weren't expensive and quite appetizing and satisfying for high school students like them who prefers food with cheaper price. There were board games available for the customers free and Yuta finds himself playing Snake and Ladder with his friends.

 

"Yuta's turn." Doyoung announced, as if Yuta doesn't know it was his turn to roll the dice.

 

It's a ridiculous scene to watch if they have an audience to see this. Doyoung and Yuta pretending they are cordial to one another, and Ten being oblivious to everything. Yuta would've come out really obvious, considering the amount he hesitates to reply whenever Doyoung tries to talk to him or how he can't even look him in the eye. But Doyoung is a masterful at faking it. Which shouldn't surprise Yuta at all but he still is.

 

Ten grimaced when he rolled the dice another time and got a one dot. He groaned in defeat, flailing his arms in the air and tossed the dice back to its box instead. "I give up."

 

"You are the cutest loser that's ever existed." Doyoung chimes and pinches Ten on the cheeks. Ten though, wasn't even fazed and frowned at him instead.

 

If things are still the way it were, Yuta would be mocking them for this scene. But now, he unconsciously evaluate every bits of Doyoung's actions over the top. Yuta hates this mindset. He hates how his brain automatically generates unpleasant ideas over someone important to him. Because the last time he checked, he was only a tiny bit pathetic, not bitter.

 

"Hey, so let's talk about Jaehyun bragging to everyone about being in a relationship." Ten says cheekily, poking Yuta's knees under the table. A habit when he wants to associate Yuta on spoofing Doyoung. It's always an awkward experience whenever because Yuta doubts Doyoung wants Yuta to hear anything Ten is trying to make out of him.

 

"What did he tell you?" He asked Ten. Doyoung looks so caught but laughed nonetheless.

 

"Doyoung hyung finally confessed. What do I do. I'm so gay for him. Blah blah." Ten says comically, mimicking Jaehyun.

 

What the f--- Yuta bites back his question. Startled, he leans back on his chair and wonders if he heard them right. Squinting his eyes at Ten and waiting for him to blow up guffawing and reveal that it was a joke. Yuta fell into a deeper confusion when Doyoung looks rather flustered when Ten congratulated him.

 

"Hey, but what about Taeyong?" Yuta asked absent-mindedly that caught Doyoung off guard. His eyes distended from what could be frustration. Yuta has never seen him in such a riling estate since Doyoung isn't one to pay attention with whatever goes on around him. The question wasn't intentional, or at least he thought, but it came out difficult that the two of them ends up gazing at each other for a long time.

 

"The hell was that?" Ten interrupts and shakes both his hands in front of their faces, he looks at Yuta for a brief moment and says, "and you call me the unnecessary person who says unnecessary things?"

 

Yuta directs his gaze at Ten. Lips turning into a sardonic curve as a reflex. He could just spill whatever it is Ten is oblivious about, and wonders how would he react to Doyoung once he finds out. But that would mean he's practically begging for sympathy. And the last thing Yuta wants to be is someone so pathetic.

 

"Ten can have him. Or Johnny." Was Doyoung's delinquent answer.

 

This time, Yuta refrained his mouth from whatever that is coming and opts to smile instead. He grins at Ten, to direct the conversation at him completely. If Yuta would choose, he'd leave this place. But he doesn't want Ten to question him, swallowing the fact that Doyoung is going to keep his mouth shut no matter what.

 

"Me? And Taeyong?" Ten chokes. "Two good looking people? Wait, let me call him."

 

Yuta doesn't want to hear whatever it is Doyoung is going to say anymore and glad that Ten's blaring his voice is keeping his ears busy. It doesn't pull him out of his train of thoughts completely, but at the very least Ten was there to settle in between them.

 

Ten placed his phone on the table and puts it in a loud speaker with Taeyong on the other line. "Hey, TY. You know that Doyoung and Jaehyun are dating now, right? Which means you and Jaehyun are cancelled."

 

"So?" Taeyong berates from the other line. It sounded too funny and Yuta imagines the funny faces he could be making by now.

 

Ten leans back, placing a hand on his chest in a ridiculous manner. He inhales before saying, "So, let's date?"

 

The beeping sound indicates that Taeyong ended the call and the three of them ends up laughing. Ten is dramatically climbing up his seat in fear as though Taeyong is going to come out of his cellphone any time soon.

 

"Stop doing that. They'll send our table out." Doyoung tells Ten.

 

As though an instinct, Yuta's mood drops again upon the sound of his voice. Like a torture that riles him up regardless of how much he tries to act composed. Such vexation displayed on his face that had Ten asking, "Are you having diarrhea again?"

 

A keyword Yuta should've thought earlier and used as an excuse to escape this get-together. That would've been a great alibi from the very beginning because Ten is already standing up, pulling Doyoung with him and gathering his things.

 

What Yuta didn't expect was Ten shoving him away from his motorbike and calling him gross. If he'd come here telling Ten that Doyoung is a terrible driver and convinced to ride his motorbike instead, it doesn't seem like it's going to work anymore.

 

"Just hop on."

 

A pained groan escaped Yuta's mouth sending Doyoung an "Are you serious?" look when he's sure Ten wasn't looking. But anything to get over with tonight's complexity. Yuta drags his feet to Doyoung's motorbike, taking the helmet that's always been there for Yuta to use.

 

"Hey, race to the dorm. Bye losers!" Ten singsongs and rev up his engine, driving away.

 

No words is exchanged between them once they're on the road. Yuta keeps a cool distance leaning backwards, if before it was fun to cling onto Doyoung just to annoy him. Yuta definitely didn't want this to ever happen again, and is the main reason why he didn't want to join any get-together of the three of them. To call it awkward is an understatement. How can is Ten, who's driving by their side and heckling at them, is still so clueless.

 

Ignoring Ten, Doyoung turns to a narrow lane. Yuta holds the steel bar on his back for balance when Doyoung speeds up the engine. Not that he can't drive, but Yuta calls him a terrible driver because he drives faster than necessary. After their last conversation, Yuta declines for a talk. Avoiding him in class, ignoring all his calls and messages. Even when Doyoung said he wants to explain and even when there's a lot of things he wants to ask, Yuta made it clear that he didn't want to discuss or hear anything anymore. It just sucks to be a human that constantly seeks for answers out of curiousity.

 

He knew beforehand Doyoung wouldn't open up to Ten about what happened. Yet, he wouldn't opt to shut off Ten's invite to gather the three of them together. Doyoung was clever and would rather agree to it to get Yuta where he wants to. When the driving slows down, Yuta takes this as a cue to speak.

 

"So you decided you like dicks and just drop her?" He asked.

 

There was a pause and Yuta wonders how much can Doyoung can keep his cool if Yuta continue being the asshole. There has to be a limit to Doyoung being nice and forgiving. And there he was, too angry and damaged to be sensible.

 

"I wouldn't want Jaehyun to hear that." Doyoung enunciates in a low voice. "Right now, he's the most important person in my life."

 

Yuta wants to snort in disbelief. The trust was broken and he doubts Doyoung is up to set forth of anything that isn't a lie. But as though reading his mind, Doyoung continues to speak,

 

"I know you don't to believe me anymore. But I want to be there for him as he is always there for me."

 

Yuta wants to jump out of the motorbike and yell at Doyoung how much he doesn't care of his another dramatic story. Quietly hoping that he isn't using Jaehyun to play with Yuta's head once again.

 

"It's a pity that she didn't like you back."

 

Doyoung unhesitatingly says and Yuta wants to take it out on his fist right there and then. But Yuta had to keep his manners and didn't want to go overboard.

 

"You seem like the person she'd love to be with. Someone interesting and kind. A total opposite of all I can be." Doyoung adds. "I know that it's unfair to hide it from you, and again I want to apologize for what happened. I---"

 

"Stop."

 

"If I could turn back time, I'll avoid this to happen. I wouldn't lie to you. So I wouldn't hurt--"

 

"Just stop."

 

"Yuta, I'm so sorry. If I have to kneel in front of you, I would ---"

 

"Just stop it. Stop. Shut up already." Yuta hissed in spite. At times like this, Yuta is glad Doyoung is a good listener who does just what he told. And it was a muted drive back to the dorm.

 

Still tensed, he didn't come up to the dorm immediately and chose to grab coffee at the convenient store nearby. Although he doubts he'll take it out on anybody, he wants to find even bits of composure before facing his roommate. Taeyong worries over the little things and there's no way he's going to sleep in peace if he finds Yuta in this state. The last time he checked, he couldn't withstand Taeyong and always end up complying to him.

 

Yuta mustered up all his strength to look calm and collected once he entered their dorm room. His roommate, Taeyong, standing by the huge mirror and looking like an idol on an airport fashionshow with his leather jacket and plain one shirt, black jeans with tied black and red plaid shirt on his hip, black converse shoe and a black snapback, didn't even bother a greeting. Yuta is upset another time and wonders what kind of celestial being Taeyong must be to look that exceptionally attractive that even guys----

 

"We're you drooling?"

 

Yuta was pulled out of his trance, opening his mouth to say something to save him from embarrasment but nothing comes out. Trying to act cool to make up for it, Yuta walks to Taeyong's bed and sat on his bed. And again, staring.

 

Before Yuta could even ask where he's going, Taeyong says, "Remember what Luna said the other day? I thought of...reconsidering it."

 

Yuta scoffed, eyeing Taeyong from head to toe. "Looking like that? After what she did to you? Are you in it for the sex? Well, aren't you horny?"

 

Taeyong's jaw dropped at the forthright question, that Yuta didn't even bat an eye for calling him that and his face fall into a grimace. "Can you, like, watch what you're saying you asshole!"

 

He didn't expect Taeyong to be greatly affected by that. Yuta suddenly felt guilty at the amount of bullshit coming out of his mouth for the night. Taeyong doesn't have to be the receiving end of it either.

 

Taeyong took his cap off along with his jacket and drops it on the floor. Untying the plaid shirt off his hip and hands it to a confuse Yuta. Hurriedly taking his shirt off in annoyance and undoing his belt. "You really want to see me naked, don't you?"

 

Taken aback, Yuta's eyes grew big. Only now that he noticed the actual situation, him unconsciously watching Taeyong taking off his clothes in a very very close proximity. "T--take this as a reward for how many times you've peeked at me undressing." Yuta daunts and hopes Taeyong didn't hear the way his voice cracked.

 

From his stoic expression, Taeyong's face became flustered. He picked the neatly folded clothes on his deck and holds it to cover his chest, looking at Yuta.

 

Yuta wants to yell at him for his overt offended reaction as though Yuta is a pervert. But when Taeyong run to the comfort room to probably changed back to his sleeping clothes, Yuta feels like he accomplished something.

 

He didn't think he'd make Taeyong upset with what he said. It was all over Taeyong's face when he comes out on his sleeping clothes, dragging his towards his bed where Yuta is still sitting.

 

"But hey, you should go talk to her if you want to." Yuta coos, clinging on the older's arms as if intimate contact is normal between them.

 

"Yuta, just shut up for the night. Please." Taeyong beseeched in a low voice, gesturing Yuta to leave the bed.

 

Thought he got used to it, but why does Taeyong telling him off hurts now? Was it the way he said it sounded a little too honest? Yuta bit his bottom lip, anxious over this little conflict. He doesn't want Taeyong to hate him, or worse, to avoid him. To Yuta, Taeyong is a very important friend. It's as though there's something deeper other than the both of them being problematic and sensitive, even if Taeyong is everything he wasn't. Although they may have not started as good friends from the beginning, as presumptuous as it sounds, Yuta believes Taeyong and him needs and understand each other.

 

"Don't be mad at me, please. I'll do anything."

It took Yuta's unawares as to what slipped off his mouth when he's supposed to only say it in his head, meanwhile Taeyong looks rather unamused.

 

"The last time you told me that you bought me food."

 

"Is....that an invite?" Yuta asked inquisitive. Standing up when Taeyong bumped his knees on his.

 

"Nah." Taeyong snorts and jumps to his bed face first. He gestures his hands to shoo Yuta away. "I just want to sleep."

 

Yuta's heart sank. Why must it be so difficult to win Taeyong's trust? He just wants to be a dependable friend that Taeyong needs. Curling his lips into a thin line, Yuta walks back to his own bed, muttering a "Good night, Taeyong."

 

"Are you seriously not going to shower before bed?"

 

"I--m about to." Yuta says defensive, that even sat up to ask him that.

 

"Really?" Taeyong doubts, eyeing him from head to toe.

 

"What do you want?" Yuta bites.

 

"You."

 

"W---what?"

 

"Hoo. Big summer blow out." Laughter errupts in the room coming from Taeyong who seemed too convinced to even laugh at his own joke.

 

It made Yuta flustered that Taeyong is making fun of him at this time of night. While it's true Taeyong is laugher, he is mostly sarcastic, yet this time, Taeyong seemed happy. Unlike the previous days that Yuta was sure he's struggling from his break-up.

 

Yuta walks over Taeyong. He shrug off the pillow that covers the other's face, pinning Taeyong's hands on the bed. Taeyong's exquisite eyes are staring back at him and Yuta remembered this scene from before, except Taeyong doesn't look this nervous. So immediately, he pulled away. Afraid that he was scaring the other.

 

"W---what was that for?"

 

"I was just checking if you were drunk." I didn't think you'd be that scared, Yuta wants to add. He turns around, going back to his bed and regretting this kind of playful initiations. Taeyong is sensitive and Yuta should act towards him more carefully.

 

When he looks back, Taeyong is already curled up on his bed and enveloped in his blanket when he expected him to be hysterical and pissed at what he did. And Yuta wonders what went wrong.

 

 

 

 

 

"That's a lot."

 

"Taeyong likes them." Yuta says another time, putting the fifth jar of nutella on the cart.

 

Saturday's training was cancelled due to the heavy rainfall. To the players, it's a silent triumph for a weekend training to be called off because that means they have a day to rest instead of breaking bones inside the football field. The rain only stays in the morning leading the afternoon weather to be gloomy. Yuta doesn't want to deal with his hyper neurons , he doesn't want to overthink any further that gives him a headache. His roommate Taeyong, doesn't seem like he's in the mood to savage Yuta either and it bores him. He's been curled up on his blanket since last night and Yuta wonders if he's still breathing. Yuta was worried that what he did last night is the reason he's put out today.

 

It would've been a really nice day if everything went according to his plan. Winwin invited him to play basketball at the towns court where there would be a lot of player and Yuta already imagined making funny bets with them. Also, maybe he could ask Winwin to take him to Kun's apartment so he could see his Pokemon toy collections since he's been hooked just from Winwin describing it. It'll be more fascinating have his fingers laid on the actual toys other than salivating over the photos. That, if only Jaehyun wasn't exaggerating his cough that had Yuta ends up doing the groceries with Johnny instead.

"Do you want him to get sick?" Johnny scoffs, putting the jar back to the shelf. He takes them back again, though, upon seeing how empty their cart is in 15 minutes of being in the store. "Honestly, why must they make us do this?"

 

Yuta puts his lips into a thin line, nodding. Both him and Johnny knows nothing about the groceries, a common knowledge everyone should've grasped by now. Even when Yuta came here with a little of confidence, using the what-to-buy lists Jaemin texted him for basis, they can't come home having only a stationery, toothpaste, nutella, and hair wax on hand.

 

"And you told me you have the list with you...... Jaemin's list." Johnny sighed exasperatedly. "You're so smart, Yuta."

 

"But you just dragged me here and you were talking with Jaehyun, you should've asked him for the list." Yuta defended, placing a pack of gum on the cart and Johnny looks at him as though he'd given up already.

 

"Whatever. Just call Doyoung and ask---"

 

"Nope. You're older than me you're supposed to settle this." Yuta reasons although he knew it didn't make sense. He grinned at him wide, clinging on the taller's muscular arms

"Stop it. You're not cute." Johnny snorts, shrugging him off.

 

Yuta chuckles, pulling off another cute face yet again. "Not as cute as Taeyong?"

 

"Why do you keep mentioning him?" Johnny berates, pushing the cart and leaving Yuta behind. "Just take everything you want. Let's have Doyoung take care of the rest. I want to go home."

 

He bit his tongue for wanting to laugh Johnny's annoyed expression. "Why are you so pissy today?" He singsongs and dash away when the taller makes a move to hit him. Yuta concludes everyone today is just as gloomy as the weather so he shuts his mouth, taking everything necessary as they pass by the shelves.

 

Yuta isn't totally clueless about shopping for groceries since he'd done it a few times with Taeyong. There are bits he remember about what Taeyong discuss about picking fruits and vegetables, although he wishes he'd listen more to what he said instead of simply admiring his face. For another half an hour, their cart was full and Yuta doesn't have to worry about carrying the bags because Johnny is strong. Unlike Taeyong who looks like he's going to stumble back just carrying a bag of watermelon.

 

"We're finished." Johnny states but sounded more of like a question.

 

"Hey, before we go home, can we pass by the coffee shop?"

 

"You know I hate coffee."

 

"I know. I know. You hate the smell of coffee." Yuta finished for him. "But you can stay outside. I'll just order a cup for Taeyong. He seemed really cold when I left. I would've just make one for him but I doubt he'd like is so."

 

"Huh, why? Why do you need to get him coffee when he's cold?" Johnny inquires and furrows his brows.

 

Yuta halts on his step and turned around to face Johnny. Sending him a questioning look for an answer. Today, Johnny seemed really off. But Yuta doesn't get intimated by this. That there's even an urge within that makes him want to pester them whenever his friends are in bad mood. Especially, Johnny, because it doesn't happen too often and he's usually loud and happy.

 

"Seriously, Yuta just stop. There's no need for you to please everybody. Stop being nice to everyone." Johnny grunts at him when Yuta tries to cling on his arm again.

 

As Yuta expected, it's not him and Taeyong who got tired of that joke. It's their friends who did. For two months unimaginable, they did nothing but to poke fun of him and Taeyong being roommates, with Johnny being the starter. Now that the joke was over and the tables were turned, none of them even wants to swallow that Yuta and Taeyong became good friends.

 

"Are you guys close now? Are you dating behind our backs? Come on say, it. To my face. Do you like him? Tell me. " Johnny demands, hands reaching out to Yuta's shoulder to still him.

 

There was a confused silence. Either Johnny is on a bad mood thinking crazy, or making fun of him yet again. This isn't the first time Johnny asked him the same question, wearing that serious face and a stern voice. It isn't until Johnny raised a brow at him that he realized he needs to answer that question.

 

"Yuta, Taeyong might think you like him if you keep being nice to him."

 

Johnny adds, to force the words out of Yuta. But there's no explaining it, no clarification to it. And he senses Johnny's eyes on him, that's either curious or disappointed. He could laugh at this serious discussion Johnny is trying to get him to, if it wasn't a replica of him asking the same question when Johnny asked if he likes Sooyoung years ago. He remembered denying it, even accusing Johnny of being too nosy. But when Yuta breaks, Johnny was the first to worry about him, to console him. And even if Johnny is irksome, he's sharp. He was there for Yuta. As if he knows from the beginning that what he had for her was hopeless.

 

"Of course. I like him." Yuta answers asserted. There was a tinge of panic at the way Johnny furrows his brows that he noticed, so he explains, "We are very good friends."

 

"Good friends?" Johnny repeats, hands reaching up to his forehead to express his dismay. "Yuta, that's not what I'm talking about. See, you don't get it!"

 

But Yuta does. He was able to comprehend what Johnny meant. Johnny probably anticipate a confession, but there's none. There's nothing to spill out when Yuta feels this empty and hurt. Because Yuta doesn't know how it feels to like someone else other than Sooyoung. No matter how many times he was hurt and denied by her.

 

Yuta looks up at Johnny's strangled expression. As though he won't be able to accept it if Yuta lets out a confession. That would be offensive, if it wasn't too silly because Yuta had nothing to admit at all. "You can have him all to yourself." Yuta cracks, laughing immediately when Johnny's face contorts into a funny one.

 

Johnny hits him on the chest, twice. "That's what you get for hanging around too much with Ten."

 

Yuta doesn't say anything, still laughing. That had Yuta wondering if he can tell Johnny his worries, if he can tell what's breaking and tearing him apart. Johnny seemed like somebody who would side on him. Upon the thought, Yuta heaves out a silent sigh that went unnoticed by Johnny. And he really was looking for sympathy? Yuta is pathetic and doesnt trust anyone.

 

 

 

 

The bags under his eyes tells Taeyong how much he'd mess up last night. He was up until 3 am reading and crying over a book. Unlike Yuta, who insisted he was reading too, with an Algebra book in hand and Taeyong wants to slap him with it for the sarcasm, even if they slept at the same time, Yuta made it to school for training.

 

Taeyong stretches in bed. It's past noon when he glances at the wall clock, 12:47 to be exact. The sweat that forms on his forehead and bareback woke him up. The warm fabric of the comforter is sticky on his chest. The new covers of his bed feels hot on the skin and Taeyong doesn't remember sleeping with a blanket so Yuta probably covered him. Last night, when he was sure Yuta is asleep, he took his shirt off and went back to bed. As a habit, he reaches out to his phone under the pillow to check it. There were 9 messages and Taeyong squints. Unlike what he expects, because there should only be one goodmorning message from Seulgi of a picture of her puppy.

 

From: Yukurri

<6:01 am>

Goodmorning are u awake :D

 

From: Yukurri

<6:49am>

tyong come to class i'll wait for you outside the room

 

From: Yukurri

<7:12am>

 

where are you? im still waiting

 

From: Yukurri

<7:52am>

why didn't you make it to class? it's sad without you :---(

 

From: Yukurri

<8:23am>

 

can u make it to the next last, tyong?

 

From: Yukurri

<9:37am>

 

where are u really O_____o

 

From: Yukurri

<10:12am>

 

call me when u wake up

 

From: Yukurri

<11:36am >

i'm having lunch now...

 

 

A smile creep up its way on Taeyong's lips reading the messages. He imagines how Yuta would sound and look like saying those words if they are facing each other. He doesn't know when did Yuta's presence became too familiar, that it feels so empty not having him around. But Taeyong wants to prove Johnny wrong, so his heart shouldn't beat into a rapid motion whenever Yuta would smile at him. However, he finds himself dialing Yuta's number. Nervous as he waits for the other to pick up.

 

"What do you want?" Taeyong says, trying to sound as stern as possible. But it's a fail when he heard Yuta chuckled from the other line at his sleepy voice, the vibration of his laugh sending shivers straight to Taeyong's whole being.

 

"Nothing." Yuta says and ends the call.

 

Taeyong deemed offended. Nothing what he anticipates Yuta would respond. Groaning, Taeyong jolts his whole body in annoyance and threw his phone on his feet. What of a grave mistake it is to even expect. He's not even 5 minutes awake and he's already this pissed and decides to go back to sleep.

 

When he wakes up another time, it's a quarter to five. Yuta is coming home any minute now and he's still angry so Taeyong decides to leave. It was like fate when by the time Taeyong reaches the girl's dorm to bother her, she was coming out entrance.He squints at his bestfriend, wary at the shorts she was wearing. He didn't bother a greeting, tossing his jacket to Seulgi who catches it in surprise.

 

"Cover your legs." He commands.

 

"Oh...okay." Seulgi complied, looking like a kicked kitten at the scolding.

 

"You don't look good on that, mind you." Taeyong berates. He doesn't hold back whenever it's about Seulgi and this matter.

 

"Joohyun gave me this. I have to wear it." Seulgi reasons. Shoulders dropping when she figured when it wasn't a valid reason for Taeyong to accept.

 

"Where is she? Let me talk to her."

 

"Taeyong." She whines, looking up at him. She clings on his arm, letting out a heavy sigh. "Fine, then. Take me to the cafe where she is."

 

Taeyong rolled his eyes and insist to take a taxi when they were about to pass by a group of guys by the road.

 

"Stop acting like my boyfriend. I have a girlfriend." Seulgi says once they're seated at the backseat, the last part in a low voice.

 

Taeyong wonders if he should feign surprise, but opts not to when he glanced on her direction and sees the mortified look on her face. As though such confession is something Taeyong wouldn't acknowledge or understand. So he says, "Seulgi, I'm your bestfriend. I already saw it before you said it. There's nothing for you to feel ashamed about."

 

Seulgi looks at him, mouthing a thank you before she starts crying. For a reason Taeyong understands why. Her family looks up to her, have high expectations about her, wants her to graduate and have a stable job, and wants her to marry a man that is successful like her father who is a doctor. But Seulgi always tell her that she can't do all of that, that she wasn't strong enough. This isn't the first time she teared up for the same exact reason. And Taeyong promises he'll always be there for her if she needs him.

 

Once they are seated inside the cafe, Taeyong didn't expect Sooyoung to be there on the table and on her laptop who didn't even mind to greet them. Though, his attention was diverted to Seulgi who casually takes Joohyun hands and pecks her on the lips. This shouldn't surprise Taeyong. If he had to think back on gradeschool when Seulgi would run to him, shaking Taeyong's shoulders and telling him about the pretty girls in class before Taeyong could even notice. Or how many times Seulgi whined on him about the guys that's trying to woo her. She was clingy to his girl friends, holding their hands and kissing on the cheeks was Seulgi's habitual candor. Taeyong tried to shake his prediction off his head, but laughs it off whenever his parents would ask how is his relationship with Seulgi going. When on that very day in middle school, she sputtered a dramatic speech to Taeyong on how beautiful Bae Joohyun is and swore she'd do anything to talk to her; add her on facebook, befriend her friends, and smile at her in the hallways. All of that worked, Taeyong supposed. At first, he thinks those were mere admirations, that turned into an uncontrollable fond.

 

He glanced back at Sooyoung who sighs loud. Eyes trained on her screen and nonchalant about everything and Taeyong wonders if she's even aware that he's there.  
Caught staring, Taeyong sends her an awkward smile to which Sooyoung returns to a rather stiff nod.

 

Somehow, Taeyong could quite infer Yuta's infatuation towards Sooyoung. Unlike other pretty faces, there's more to her aura than just being beautiful. The expressions on her eyes are inscrutable, and her presence gives off a mysterious vibe. Like a deep dark sea Yuta couldn't even set foot on, for he might drown. Yuta is simply intrigued, and fascinated, maybe.

 

"Taeyong, should I order you something?"

 

Pulled out of his trance, Taeyong looks at Joohyun who asked him and wonders how long had she been waiting for his response. "I'm okay. I'm full."

 

"Did Seulgi dragged you here? I apologized on her behalf."

 

Taeyong opens his mouth to tell Joohyun that he got dragged here indeed, although he really was bored and had nothing to do. Besides, he came to the dorm to ask Seulgi out anywhere and almost missed her.

 

"Say no more." Seulgi snarled, covering Taeyong's face with her palms.

 

"You're really impossible." Joohyun says, laughing. And if he was able to talk, he'd say the same thing.

 

"Because you're too busy. I have no one to play with." Seulgi says, jutting her bottom lip.

 

"I told you, I'm busy." Joohyun says, eyes trained on her laptop although it's obvious her attention is completely directed at her.

 

"When will that project of yours finish, then?" Seulgi asked.

 

"If you stop bothering me."

 

Seulgi showed her hurt expression on Taeyong, making him laugh and whispers "Sooyoung is smarter she can do it without Joohyun's help."

 

"Really impossible." Taeyong repeats with a chuckle.

 

"Sooyoung-ah, you're dressed up really pretty. You look like you're going on a date." Seulgi comments with a teasing smile.

 

"A blind date?" Joohyun adds, chuckling.

 

And Taeyong sits there, thinking how obnoxious that sounded. It was off base, and sounded so wrong for her to ignore Yuta's feelings for years yet give someone who she hasn't even meet a chance. It's not like it was true and Taeyong doubts it too, but still... for her to ignore Yuta all this time irks Taeyong on it's finest.

 

"Come on, Taeyong. Let's leave before she beat us up."

 

Again, Seulgi drags him outside. Taeyong have no strength to complain even when his head hurts and Seulgi is forcing him to eat that popsicle stick. Not when she looks this happy, and relieved after telling Taeyong her deepest fear. Taeyong is glad Seulgi found someone, to free her from constraining herself and to accept her. That was ideal, and Taeyong have nothing to say anymore.

 

"Sooyoung is really scary." Taeyong comments, unmindful.

 

"Why, are you interested?" Seulgi squints at her.

 

"No." Was Taeyong's straight answer. It might have come out mean that had Seulgi laughing.

 

"By the way, Yuta said you didn't come to school today. What happened to you?"

 

While it's true that it's seeming like a silent rule, that whenever someone mentions Sooyoung on a conversation, the next person to bring out is Yuta. It's a futile cannon, even when everyone knows the two of them doesn't bear a connection towards each other. Sooyoung doesn't like Yuta, and that's everything about them.

 

"I overslept."

 

"Something bothering you?"

 

Taeyong wouldn't admit, so he shakes off the question. He isn't strong like Seulgi. He wouldn't be able to entertain grave conceptions of what goes on in his head. Some things are better left unsaid. Taeyong can pretend that it doesn't matter at all. This way, Taeyong can keep himself from getting hurt. If it's the way to fend for his heart as his head denies the truth.

 

"I'm just happy for you."

 

"Are you?" The smile painted on Seulgi's lips shows her gratitude. Although she isn't good with words, and so is Taeyong.

 

 

Something inside him feels heavy and he didn't want to affect Seulgi's mood so he sent her home. It's not that he doesn't trust her, or anyone in general. But he'd rather felt secured and far away from anyone's judgment, than be exposed and feel sorry about.

 

He admits that he's a coward, by how careful he passed through Johnny's room with it's door half opened. He could hear Johnny's loud voice as he walks by, probably scolding Ten. And Taeyong strides quick to his own room.

 

"What are you doing, skipping class and going on a date?" Yuta welcomes him with a flick on the forehead. He opened the door just in time when Taeyong unlocked the knob. Only peeking his head out and not letting Taeyong in.

 

Taeyong grimaced, scratching his forehead and was about to ask how did he know where he went when Yuta sees through him and says,

 

"I saw you walking with Seulgi at the park."

 

"Oh. We just went for ice cream. Actually, we were with Joohyun and Sooyoung. They stayed at the cafe." Taeyong says, and intentionally he mentions her. To see what kind of effects it had on Yuta. As though the her name alone can impare him, Yuta's gaze was lost for a second and Taeyong sworn he wasn't okay. Still, he was quick to look back at Taeyong with a neutral expression as though everything was fine.

 

Yuta used the back of his palm and lands it solidly to Taeyong's forehead who yelps in surprise. "You're hot." He says. "I mean, you have a fever."

 

"D--do I?" Taeyong was fazed when he uses his own hand to feel the temperature on his forehead. His hands felt cold, so he had no idea how bad it is until Yuta said it. He thought he's only having his headache from last night, not a fever.

 

"Come in."

 

The air on Taeyong's lungs feels hot. He needed a peaceful rest. Not when Yuta is grasping him on the shoulder and guides him to his bed. The proximity rather sets Taeyong's chest into panic. It's difficult to breathe when Yuta is this close.

 

"Go to sleep, Taeyong."

 

Letting out a scoff, Taeyong falls on his back on the bed. "Aren't you suppose to make me a porridge or something?"

 

"Should I?" Yuta sounds inclined that Taeyong smiled to himself before nodding like a maniac. "Can't make them. Should I ask Jaehyun?"

 

Taeyong huffed in annoyance and wishes Yuta saw the way he rolled his eyes at the false hope. Not like some time ago, Taeyong finds it fake and annoying when Yuta does him a favor, and now he's asking for it. Taeyong admits he's a fusspot and is hurt by this what could be a little rejection. "Hey, where are you going!?" Taeyong yells. He would assume Yuta is about to make him a porridge like he requested, but Yuta was holding a snapback and most likely leaving the dorm.

 

"Why? You're so clingy nowadays." Yuta laughed and stopped by the door.

 

Taeyong hides under his pillow. Wary that the color of his face had change and that Yuta might see through him. "Nothing." He mutters, sounding defensive. The butterflies in his stomach went berserk and Taeyong wonders if he felt so sick or it's because of the sound of the vibration of Yuta's soft laughter. "Don't need you. Get out."

 

Surprisingly, Yuta's strides were too quick that it startled Taeyong when a heavy weight fell on the side of his bed. Yuta's warm hands fiddling gently on Taeyong's knees.

 

Taeyong is glad Yuta doesn't see him under the pillow. Because if he does, he wouldn't understand, he would be disgusted, he would leave Taeyong alone. He jerked his left foot to shove his hand away, the touch of Yuta's finger still hot on his knee.

 

"Such a snob." Yuta chuckles, grasping Taeyong on his leg just above his knee.That tickles, and Taeyong jolts up. Glowering at him. To which Yuta laughs at, leaning backwards and saying, "You're so red."

 

Taeyong freezes at the comment, looking down. Yuta's hand is still on his leg, but not pressing this time. How is he not going to turn red when all the blood in his body climbs up to his head.

 

"I didn't know you were that ticklish. What a cutie." Yuta notes, smiling wide as though the new information is useful. His hand reaches up to Taeyong's face, then to his neck and hands and Taeyong swore at the moment he'd tear up. "But you're really sick. Do you feel cold? I was going out to buy you porridge at the mart, but I don't think you want to be left alone."

 

"Stay, then." It was a blunt request and Taeyong is convinced he'd reached another level of crazy when he leans in and rest his head on Yuta's shoulder. He doesn't need a stupid porridge.

 

This is insane. Somehow he wishes Yuta would push him back, and tell him to get lost, or that it's gross. However, his strong arms makes their way around Taeyong's body. Not to warm him up, but to make him crazy yet again. And Yuta let's out a relieving sigh and Taeyong knew what it meant. That Yuta is contented to be of help to anyone. To which by means, he'd do this for anyone and not only for Taeyong. And that, he wasn't special at all.

 

Taeyong swore he didn't intend to take advantage on that, so he pulled away and lie back to his bed. Which should be the cause of his warmth and comfort, not Yuta's arms. It shouldn't mean everything to Taeyong, if it meant nothing to Yuta.

 

Staring at nothing, he could feel Yuta's gaze on him. A worried look that he'd send to everyone who's sick and red caused by the fever, not by emotions. So when Yuta coos and asked him another if he wants to eat a porridge, he nods. Anything to seize the erratic sentiments that's tearing his head apart. To retain the distance there must be between them.

 

 

 

 

Fate must be playing games. If he was successful in avoiding Johnny throughout the week, pretending he's asleep whenever he visits him at his room, saying he's on a hurry whenever they meet at the school hallways. Taeyong is glad Joohyun is still busy with her project that he can ask Seulgi to eat lunch with her instead of eating lunch with the guys. But Jaehyun had to be sick again, and ask him to join Johnny to the groceries instead. But it was Jaehyun so how could he say no?

 

"This tissue brand is----"

 

"Taeyong." Johnny interrupts again, voice sounding too stern and serious this time Taeyong had been ignoring what he's saying, preceding to the shopping and giving him nonsensical brief description about the products. But Johnny isn't having any of that anymore. "I've always thought you're smart but obviously you're not using your head."

 

"What." Taeyong feigns confuse. Johnny wouldn't let him slip this time, he knows.

 

"Tell me what is it you're doing."

 

Taeyong could say the groceries, but Johnny isn't smiling and it's obvious that he's not having of that. Lately, it was uncontrollable and Taeyong isn't acting according to his plan; to avoid and ignore his feelings. "What am I going to do. It's your fault. You made him my roommate and now I'm ---"

 

"You're in love with him?" Johnny interrupts, scoffing. "Taeyong, that's fucking absurd. You're absurd."

 

"I know.....I know." He agrees. Eyes wandering around the store and avoiding Johnny's gaze. He regrets being too obvious, and Johnny shouldn't have seen through him. And this is the last topic Taeyong wants to talk about. He could just swallow away his feelings anyway.

 

"Taeyong, what the actual." Johnny mouths impossibly. "He's in love with Sooyoung."

 

"Well, you don't have to shove that to my face." Taeyong mutters. But she doesn't like him, he wants to add. But he expects Johnny is in no hesitation to crash Taeyong's ego. He's going to be straightforward as ever that if Taeyong tells him that, he'd call Taeyong presumptuous for even thinking he's a next to Yuta's option.

 

"Does it hurt?" Johnny supposes. "Taeyong, Nakamoto Yuta is nice to everyone." Johnny says again, emphasizing the last part. "But he's a wack. Remember that girl he dated when he couldn't ask Sooyoung out? Well, Yuta dropped her in front of everyone's eyes when Sooyoung smiled at him at the hallways. She even transferred school because of embarrassment. Did you forget?"

 

"No." Taeyong uttered. He didn't forget, of course. But he wouldn't remember it either if Johnny didn't remind him now. He sees Yuta as a guy with integrity, he was sweet and gentle. He was versatile, that even when Taeyong sets rules inside their dorm room that doesn't suit his character, he's able to bear and help. More importantly, he listens, and therefore, he cares. And his smile is to die for.

 

"Then what the fuck is wrong with you? Of all people, you're in love with him?" Johnny scoffs. Shaking Taeyong on the shoulders as though it would wake him up from this stupor.

 

"You don't have to worry. I won't do anything about it." Taeyong reassures. A promise Johnny wouldn't believe, not even Taeyong himself. He knew it was trouble from the first time he felt flustered when Yuta smiled at him. Or that time when his heart skipped a beat when Yuta placed a hand on the top of his head. Or how his limbs weaken just every time Yuta is near. It's irritating how he became dependent. How his laughter and smiles reduce to half whenever Yuta isn't around. It's difficult to sleep, having a train of thoughts of a mix of excitements and disappointments. It's irrational, and possessive, that Taeyong hates it when Yuta isn't talking to him or smiling for him. Yuta feels like a safe place, yet will set him on fire if he takes the wrong step.

 

"Is it so bad?" Johnny ask him, voice dropping on low octaves. He's rather scared than worried. "Taeyong, he doesn't even like boys."

 

"I know that. And like I said, it's not like I'm doing anything about it." Taeyong enunciates. Johnny probably thought this over more than he does.

 

"Taeyong, I saw you." He says, and Taeyong swallows the lump on his throat at the accusation. Maybe Taeyong appreciates Yuta so much that it's inevitable for anyone not to notice. " So what makes you think he would like you? Are you stupid?"

 

"I don't care." Taeyong declares. He'd heard enough for the day. Johnny is worried about him, but it also sounds like the same message of him saying that Taeyong isn't enough for Yuta. He turned around so Johnny wouldn't see the tears in his eyes. He hates being downright pathetic for anyone to see.

 

"Why are you crying?" Johnny asked. If he was guilty, he wouldn't show it. So he could prove his point that Taeyong must rethink and wise up.

 

"You're breaking my heart before he does." Taeyong choked a sob. It's been a chronic pain before Johnny even mentioned it. Every time he thinks about not being enough, and that he doesn't stand a chance, it breaks him. But Yuta, in a blink of an eye, can make him feel whole and complete. And to hear that coming from someone else's mouth, is a huge slap on Taeyong's face. A wake up call that tells him to quit before it's too late.

 

"I'm going to ask permissions to the admin. You're changing rooms with Ten. Surrender your I.D pass on Friday."

 

He nods. Anything to make Johnny shut up. Because if Johnny says it's what's best for him, then it's what's best for him. He sees Taeyong as someone helpless and irresponsible, which is most likely to be true. The problem, Taeyong knows, is that he never listens. Seeing how much he'd mess up ignoring what's been told to him. This time, maybe he should consider what Johnny said.

 

"It's for you, don't hate me." Johnny reminds.

 

He nods again. Of course he knows. There's not a nice way to tell Taeyong that either. If anything, he wishes Yuta himself would say it to his face for him to stop all these delusions. He wishes Yuta would break him sooner.

 

 

 

 

The first three days went painfully slow. Taeyong literally stopped talking to Yuta. Not even daring to look at his face for he might give in immediately once he sees Yuta's smile. Yet, he's delusional enough to assume Yuta would come around to coo him. And it's happening, that Taeyong is impressed he hasn't succumb yet. He anticipates Yuta to break whatever distance it is Taeyong is trying to establish.

 

One night, when Taeyong was coming out of the shower, Yuta pushed him back in and corners him to the side. Yuta holds his gaze, and there was an evident confusion written on his face. It was simple to go along with his plan if Yuta is simply speaking, but being manhandled is another thing. Yuta's grasp on his wrists is strong this time. Whatever annoyance it is Yuta is trying not to show on his face, Taeyong can feel it with how forceful he's being right now.

 

Maybe Yuta is waiting for him to talk first. Not making any movement or losening his grip on Taeyong as though it wasn't an odd position they're in at the moment. But Taeyong wants to believe he isn't easy, so he looked away, his lips tight and zipped. It's goddamn ridiculous. Yuta might see him as someone so ridiculously stupid now.

 

"Did I do something?" Yuta asked.

 

"No." Taeyong mouths.

 

"Look at me." Yuta demands, lifting up Taeyong's chin.

 

Taeyong shrugged him away, shaking his head. It's then that Yuta loosens his hold on him, and Taeyong finds his chance to escape. Darting outside the bathroom in case Yuta decides to pull him in again. His heart is beating erratically and wonders if Yuta had heard it.

 

There's no safe distance inside the room, where only the two of them are together. And before Yuta could even peek his head out of the bathroom to look for him, Taeyong makes his way out the door. He had to avoid Yuta, not only for Johnny's self explanatory satisfaction, but to avoid any further unwanted emotions.

 

When he comes back to their room that night, Yuta was sleeping. Just then, Taeyong let's out a sigh of relief. It's not easy to avoid and ignore Yuta, if he's insanely drawn to him. His body acting on it's own. That when he's sure Yuta isn't looking, Taeyong would find his chance to peek at his face in adoration. Or whenever Yuta speaks, his voice outstands everyone else's and he's the only person Taeyong could hear. If Johnny would ask him the same question on how bad he has it, then the answer is obvious.

 

 

 

He didn't mean to see it. Taeyong was generous enough when their physics teacher grumbled about forgetting the light bulb that will be used as a sample for his lecture at the storage room. Yet, when he was about to step in, he was strike in surprised when he sees two familiar people in side. It was Yuta, standing and looking at him in shock, and the other is Doyoung who's slightly bent down with a hand on his face.

 

"What is going---" The question died in his throat when he sees a bit of blood on Doyoung's face. So he runs to him, holding him up. "What did you do to him?!" He glowered at Yuta who stepped back at his rage.

 

"It's nothing. It's my fault." Doyoung tells Taeyong, holding him back. Even at this situation, he's still his apathetic self: his voice calm and face showing no emotion.

 

Taeyong had no idea what went on. But one thing is for sure, Yuta punched Doyoung. No matter how impossible of a scenario it is to think of.

 

"Taeyong, it's okay." Doyoung muses again.

 

When he looks at Yuta another time, he was looking away. His brows were furrowed of contrition, and shame that Taeyong had seen just that. There must be a reason behind it, and Taeyong wants to ask. But Yuta is already darting out the room and running away.

 

"Yu---Yuta!" He called in an attempt to console. Yuta isn't the type to hurt anybody, or so he believes. Even if it meant intruding, Taeyong wants to know. It takes a lot of control not to run after him.

 

Silence takes in, with only the loud sound of Doyoung's breathing inside the room. It could be from the pain he's having right now. He'd offer to take him to the clinic, but knowing Doyoung, he would refuse and rather plead for Taeyong not to tell anyone about it. In a weighty tone where all Taeyong could do is agree.

 

"So, are you going to tell me what happened? Or is he?" He asked, setting the conversation straight. As he expects, Doyoung wouldn't even open his mouth to answer that very question, what more it is for him to explain it. A tap on the shoulder tells Taeyong that the most he can get from Doyoung is silence.

 

"Go back to your class."

 

The next person to leave the room is Doyoung, and Taeyong is left there alone with his self-destructive curiosity. For Yuta lift a hand at Doyoung doesn't fit in one sentence. He'd give Yuta the benefit of the doubt, but no friend shall to that to his friend. Maybe he had too much trust in Yuta to act decent at all times. But still, there must be a reason.

 

When he went home from school that afternoon, he expects the dorm room to be empty. But surprisingly, Yuta is sitting on his own bed and Taeyong likes to believe he's waiting for him. Battling whether or not he should ask him what happened, but the latter won; Taeyong had to much pride that he wouldn't yield to Yuta's silent treatment.

 

Trying to act casual, Taeyong does his customary routine after school. Rearranging his bag and desk, and changing from his uniforms. Although he's aware of Yuta's eyes fixed on him from his first step in the room, he dares not to acknowledge it. He pulled out his luggage below the bed and continues with packing his things. The next day, he's going to transfer to Johnny's room where it isn't suffocating. The sort of comfort Taeyong needs for awhile now. But he's moving out, and already talked to the management of the apartment Kun lives. Although he's still in line waiting for a vacancy.

 

"Ten told me you're trading rooms with him."

 

His voice was hoarse that Taeyong freezes on his spot for a moment. Hearing the footsteps that walks towards him, Taeyong ignored his trepidation and sinks in the mind that in two days, he doesn't have to obliterate with his feelings and Yuta anymore. "Happy?" He asked. Although he only did that to throw him off. For Yuta might say no and begs for Taeyong to stay.

 

What he didn't expect was Yuta pulling him up from his crouching position on the floor and making him seat on the bed. And he was gentle; hands the warmest Taeyong ever felt. And Yuta kneeled in front of him, holding his hands right above his knees. His eyes were red and miserable, and Taeyong wants to know why he cried.

 

"Doyoung was in a relationship with Sooyoung. They dated for a year and broke up just recently." Yuta says in a low voice, playing with Taeyong's fingers.

 

His face contorts in confusion. Taeyong reckons it's the reason why he punched Doyoung. But that was a selfish attack, Taeyong wants to say he shouldn't have done it either way. But Yuta looks so hurt so he kept his mouth shut, lifting his hands up to Yuta's face instead. This time, he intends to take advantage of the moment. To make Yuta realize that Taeyong is there to understand him.

 

"He apologized. Too many times. And every time he does, I feel insulted. Like, why is he's so accustomed to treating me like a fool?"

 

There are many questions inside Taeyong's head. If Yuta is really in love with Sooyoung, or if he's in love with the pain of the idea of liking her. And Taeyong inhales the smell of beer when Yuta leans in closer, resting his head on Taeyong's chest. He doesn't care about what went on between Doyoung and Sooyoung, but Yuta looks so exhausted and broken that Taeyong aches for him. Without hesitation, he wraps his arms around Yuta's body. Taeyong have no time to ponder whether it's wrong or right when he pulls Yuta closer. Or if his hand is the right hand Yuta is holding right now. But if Yuta is always the first to initiates the touch, then maybe this is okay. That he can interpret it as Yuta likes him too. Taeyong doesn't anymore trust his self control by the time there was a pair of lips on his.


	3. 3

"Take off your shirt, too."

 

"Yuta, we can't....." 

 

"Open your legs a little."

 

Taeyong can still feel it. The sadness that reflected from Yuta's eyes, as though Taeyong also have been stabbed in the back. The betrayal of a friend that inflicted to his throat and he couldn't breathe. He saw the way it pains Yuta to admit what Doyoung had done, that Taeyong also ached for him. But it hurts more to know that Yuta is still trapped in a burning wreck along with his devotion over someone who doesn't feel the same for him. And Taeyong is on the same boat, but is amenable to sail for him. The thing is, Yuta preferred to endure the grief all to himself until he couldn't anymore.  If he understood what Yuta was going through much earlier, if he understands it more than just what he can perceive with Yuta being placid about it, then Taeyong would've been there to bear him a hand. If not from the beginning, Taeyong wanted to be there not before it's all too late. 

 

Taeyong can still feel it. The light fleeting touches that made him shiver down his spine as Yuta touches him as if Taeyong is something fragile. Making all his insecuries fade away with the gentle touch of soothing fingers against his skin. Like the tender feeling Yuta does to his heart whenever he smiled at him. 

 

Taeyong can still feel Yuta's hot lips against his. The carress of Yuta's tongue as he traced it across Taeyong's bottom lip. And suddenly, the taste of his soft lips is all Taeyong could remember. The throbbing of the other's heart against his chest tells Taeyong he deserves this, that he's good enough for this kiss. 

 

Taeyong can still feel the strong hands that held him down as Yuta sinks in to his heat. The pain making his mind go blank and Taeyong pulled him closer, desperate for more. The sound of Yuta's intoxicating voice when he calls Taeyong "My pretty boy." as he indulges himself inside him. His breath ragging with every thrust, and every touch as Yuta explores his body another time as though Taeyong was his. There was an overwhelming satisfaction of having Yuta buried inside him, the feeling of being complete overrides the pain, and the feeling of every inch of Yuta sending him to oblivion. Lewd sounds starts escaping Taeyong's lips but Yuta blocks it by swallowing the moans, and for once, Taeyong feels whole. 

 

He doesn't remember the second time they did it. Or the third when Yuta followed him to the bathroom and his lips ghost over Taeyong's neck that Taeyong gave in again. Nor the fourth time that probably send Taeyong back to Yuta's bed and he fell asleep from exhaustion. At that point, whatever is it that came in his head that he ended up sleeping with Yuta, not once or twice, but four times, Taeyong doesn't know whether he does it because he's angry with Johnny and wants to prove him wrong towards his assumption regarding the way Yuta feels about Taeyong. Or simply, if he wanted it. 

 

 

 

Opening his eyes, he was welcomed with the familiar feeling and the scent he's used to inside the room. A smile made it's way to Taeyong's face when he realized it wasn't just a dream and that he isn't crazy. When the drowsiness went away, Taeyong hears the loud sound and he found Yuta rummaging through the drawers. His cheeks heat up in excitement, heart fluttering and he sat up because now is the perfect time to greet him a good morning, even if he didn't wake up on Yuta's arms. It didn't matter, as long as he can still envision the feeling of Yuta's warm skin against his. 

 

"Go---go back to your own bed, Taeyong." Yuta stammers. One hand clutching tight at the towel that was wrapped around his waist, and the other digging on the drawers. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and seeing the blotches of red around his chest makes Taeyong shivers knowing that he did it. 

 

"Yuta, "

 

"Please, just. Don't say anything. Please. " Yuta pleads.

 

At first, Taeyong didn't want to believe his conjecture. Rather thinking that Yuta is just in a hurry, late for his training. But judging from how he's avoiding Taeyong's gaze and practically telling him to shut up, then he's avoiding it. And from the way he turned to his side to shut off away from Taeyong's view even when Taeyong already seen all of him.  "Yuta, last night we---" 

 

"I said don't say anything. I'm.... Please." 

 

Taeyong hates being forthright vulnerable and vehement. It's the same damn old scene, where he couldn't defend himself. He wasn't strong enough to face a sore rejection. Johnny was right. Taeyong should've never assumed and caved in. He has given Yuta something substantial, all of him, but what's important to him may not be as it is to the other. And with shaking hands, Taeyong reaches blindly to any clothe he could find on the bed. Eyes fogged up with the tears he supposes shouldn't be there to display how weak he is. His whole body aches as he stood up. What felt like heaven awhile back, now he can feel his body tearing limb from limb. "Y--Yuta." Taeyong tries again. 

 

Tears streamed down his cheeks another time. Even a bit of explanation will be enough, as to why is Yuta shoving him now right after they slept together, or at least a logical word to unriddle his behavior. If he regret what they've done, which would've been rational because they aren't the obscene types of roommates who just grope each other whenever they want to,  or if he find Taeyong disgusting, but Taeyong couldn't forget the praises that Yuta continuously moaned in his ears. His throat began to hurt, holding back the sobs that Yuta shouldn't hear. 

 

The room was suffocating and the last place he wants to be in. Once fully clothed, Taeyong escaped, and only when he flew out the room, he starts to bawl. Half wishing no one could hear him because he wasn't ready to spell out the current situation he's in, but also half wishing that someone could come to his rescue. 

 

His chest feels heavy, and it was hard to breathe. It hurts because Johnny was right, it hurts because Yuta doesn't need him. Taeyong was way too ambitious, the regret of what he'd got himself into couldn't be erase. He was too stupid to even think that having sex with Yuta would put him to the place where he wants him to. 

 

With aching legs, Taeyong falters to the lobby. He needs to compose himself first. He couldn't run out the dorm on his night clothes, bare foot and looking too worn-out. Assured that it wouldn't be like the last time when Yuta would wait for him outside to comeback. In fact, this should be the right time to put an end to his overwhelming want for him. 

 

"Why are you crying?" 

 

Taeyong stopped on his tracks at the familiarity of the voice. There he saw Doyoung standing by the window in the lounge. In no time, he runs to Doyoung, wrapping his arms around him tight for support and crying on his chest. That's when he let it all out. If he was messing up his shirt, or crying way too loud, the lounge is a safe distance for anyone in their rooms to hear, Doyoung just let him. And he embraces Taeyong too, gentle hands rubbing comforting circles on his back. 

 

He remembers how it all began, Yuta admitting his problems and Doyoung being the cause of his distress. But with or without that circumstances, Taeyong knows Doyoung favor him and right now, that's what he needs. Taeyong doesn't want to think Yuta only used him to relieve. And even if Taeyong isn't that important to him, at least be believes he isn't that worthless.

 

Doyoung didn't say anything either as he kisses the top of Taeyong's head, twice. To let him know that Taeyong is never alone and that he'd always been there to his aid. Taeyong is always charmed by the amount of attention Doyoung gives him. As though Taeyong is still that little child he always claims he wants to protect back when they were kids. Even with Jaehyun around, Taeyong never missed the concerned glances Doyoung always sends him when he suddenly became the topic of their friends' mockery. Or how he would ask if Taeyong have eaten, if he disliked the food so Doyoung could get him another, or if he had a good sleep, these are the list of things Yuta couldn't give him on an even keel, or at least he tries too sometimes. But there's a difference in the effects, when he isn't in love with Doyoung but he is to Yuta. 

 

Yuta would playfully watch him takes off his clothes, but Doyoung would dress him up. 

 

"Are you going to tell me what happened? Or do I have to kiss you?" 

 

It was an empty dare and Taeyong knows he wouldn't do it, even when his hands are on Taeyong's cheeks and pulling him closer. There had to be a reason as to why Taeyong would run to him at four in the morning, crying and looking spent. Doyoung had given him enough time to cry, and now it's his turn to force the words out of Taeyong. 

 

"I...I slept with Yuta. But he's acting like nothing happened." With a heavy heart, Taeyong admits. It's not about what happened that angers him, it's about the way Yuta acted after they've done it, is the messaged he wants to send Doyoung. Unlike Johnny, he knows Doyoung wouldn't judge him. Because he knows Doyoung understands him more than anyone, even when Taeyong doesn't tell him anything.

 

He waited for a rant, or a yell of incredulity, but Doyoung didn't even let out a sigh. He pulls away from the embrace, hand sliding up on top of Taeyong's head as if to tell him that he really fucked up this time. Another jolt of nervousness prickled against Taeyong's skin when Doyoung walks past Taeyong and strides to his room. 

 

"Doyoung." He followed, trying to stop him. "What are you going to do? Doyoung, stop." 

 

He finds himself inside the room again, and Yuta looks too stunned, on his school uniform, fresh from the shower, to see them. Doyoung didn't give him enough time to analyze the situation because the hand Taeyong was holding awhile ago, is already swunged towards Yuta's face. Hearing the loud thud and the hitting of flesh, Taeyong was petrified. Until he sees the drops of blood that spills out of Yuta's lips. 

 

"Oh my god." Taeyong whimpered, closing his eyes. Stepping in front of Doyoung to stop him from whatever else is coming. "Doyoung, stop. Please." 

 

For the moment, Doyoung squirmed out of his grasp. There's no way Taeyong is stronger than him, but the agitation died down, and he listened when Taeyong told him to stop. As though Doyoung is afraid that it will break Taeyong more if he'd done more than what Taeyong expects him to, even when Doyoung believes Yuta deserves more than that. A conflict between them already exist, and Taeyong didn't mean to put fire on it once again.

 

"What did you do to Taeyong?" Doyoung questions in a stern voice. When he sees the unanswered questions that reflects in Taeyong's eyes the moment he talked and told him the problem, then he would compel Yuta to speak. Because Taeyong is desperate for words, even if it will hurt him or not. 

 

"Do to him?" Yuta spits out the blood to the floor, and to emphasize his vexation against Doyoung's violence, and that question. He didn't dart away, remaining from his stand and holding Doyoung's gaze. "I was drunk. He was the one sober, shouldn't you be asking him?" 

 

There was a needed silence, and Taeyong knew that Doyoung's heart sank upon hearing the truth. Because Taeyong is in no room on defending himself, when he kisses Yuta first. Taeyong initiated the touch, and what happens after was out of Yuta's contol because he was drunk.

 

However, Doyoung doesn't look fed up when he looks at Taeyong with a gentle stare. There are words at the tip of his tongue for Yuta that he doesn't let out, because he knows it will hurt Taeyong too. But he doesn't hug Taeyong even if he needs it right now, because it will give more reason for Yuta to cheapen him. 

 

No further words were exchanged, other than the stiffled whimper that comes out of Taeyong. Seeming that none of them knows how to seize the rancid moment. Until Yuta picks up his sports bag, and flew out of the room leaving the two of them alone. 

 

After a brief moment, Doyoung was the one to speak first. "I'm sorry. He's a scumbag." 

 

"He hates me." Taeyong supposes, voice cracking at the last part. It was an easier cogitation to shoulder, than the actual thought of Yuta disliking him. Whereas he can believe  that Yuta has a rational excuse to shove him away. That he can forgive Taeyong one day and give him a chance. 

 

"Kun told me you were moving out. How come he knew it and I don't?" 

 

"So I could avoid fucking up, like what happened last night." Taeyong chokes. 

 

If Doyoung is surprised at his confession, then he doesn't show it. Instead, he placed a hand on top of Taeyong's head, the way Yuta does it. But the feeling was different, because his heart didn't skip a beat, rather there were sparks that allows his brain cells to work. Unspoken, yet Taeyong can predict what Doyoung had to say, "You should've done it earlier." He voiced out, gentle, to not sound like what happened was Taeyong's fault. 

 

"If you want to move out today, I will help you. Now that the others are still asleep." Doyoung suggest. 

 

Taeyong didn't agree in an instant, but with Doyoung saying it, makes it sound like the safest choice, and Taeyong trust him more than anyone. Doyoung waited for him to nod, before he strides towards him and wrapped him on an embrace. 

 

 

 

 

 

"You're early." 

 

The silence wasn't consoling at all, as Yuta stares blankly on the empty field. At any moment, the sun would rise, but it was still dark and freezing and Yuta is numb from the cold. He looked up to Jungwoo, on his training uniform and playing with a soccerball in hands. Playfully, he thrust it on Yuta's chest but takes it back in instant when he saw the intolerance in his eyes. "Something up?" He asked. 

 

"No." Yuta says, shaking his head. He could play and forget, but he was tired, and the cause being the exertion last night makes his head explode. 

 

Jungwoo let's out a bitter laugh, because Yuta's reply wouldn't fool anyone. Not even Jungwoo who only cares about winning the game. "Fine, then. If you can make a goal, you can skip for today. Sounds good?" 

 

With a hesitant nod, Yuta stood up. Taking Jungwoo's hand. Desperation sips through him because his opponent hasn't signal for them to start yet, but Yuta steal the ball that was between Jungwoo's foot and the ground, kicking it and running fast towards the goal. And in a matter of seconds, it was in. 

 

As he expects, Jungwoo bestowed him a sarcastic applause. "You'd be coach's favorite, if you weren't problematic." He remarked, and takes Yuta's hand for a handshake. 

 

"Am I free now?" Yuta asked.

 

Humming in response, Jungwoo hands Yuta a candy. Something Yuta noticed that he always snack on whenever they have a game or tired from practice. As though it's where Jungwoo gets his strength from. Yuta takes it wholeheartedly, bumping their fist together, and he takes his leave. "But hey, call Ten or something!" Yuta hears him shout. 

 

Regardless, Yuta didn't actually leave the field. Anything to kill time, to erase the photographic images of his last night's mistake that drills inside his little head. Really, he should've listened to Ten who didn't accompany him, but Yuta and his little of brain still insisted to drink alone. Then he wouldn't be spitting blood around, the courtesy of the rugged punch he received first thing in the morning.  Unconscious of what he'd done, Yuta only gauges that he only needed space. That, and he can fix everything when he's back to a state where he can think properly. The football field is the enough space he needs.  He run back, stealing the ball another time and aiming for the goal. This time, though, Jungwoo blocked him. With his monotonous voice, he asked, "You're that bothered, aren't you?", and run past Yuta taking the ball from him. 

 

Nonetheless, Yuta didn't say anything. Directing his mind to the very unpleasant memories he had endure trying out the first time for the football team in middle school. Jungwoo, being his sheer nemesis. Yuta had to work his ass off, and try his hardest, while Jungwoo was born with it. A potent ability he'd always envy of. Although due to odd circumstances, they're on one team now, cheering one another. 

 

 

Standing by the gates, Yuta calls Ten before the classes starts. Too rare for him to come to class on time and it was miraculous when he told Yuta that he's ten steps away from the school when classes isn't starting in two more minutes. Watching the bundles of students rushing in the gates, he didn't notice Ten coming towards him who playfully flicked his ear for a greeting. 

 

"Why did you call me?" Ten asked. He was breathing fast, from running in hurry because of Yuta's call.

 

That's when it hits Yuta. He froze in his spot, unable to think of a start on how to explain it. It was too complex for words that, physically, he can feel his throat drying. Ten makes a sound to remind the petrified Yuta that he's waiting for an answer, that the latter couldn't make out of. However, Ten shrugs it off and pulled Yuta inside the gates. 

 

"W--wait." He stammers, by the time they enter the building and before Yuta could pass through his classrooms. He forcibly pushed Ten to the wall, to avoid being seen and asked Ten to peek inside the room instead. "Is Taeyong... inside?" He asked, nervous. 

 

"What's wrong dude." Ten whines because Yuta is pulling at his hair to twist his head. "And aw, no he isn't. Let me go." 

 

"C--can you....." Call Doyoung and ask where he is, is what Yuta wants to say. But that's way too ambitious after what he'd done. He's in no place to act concern, when he more or less told him off. "Let's play Lol?" Yuta says instead. 

 

It was hard to speak about, what he needed to tell Ten, because that would mean processing what happened yet again in his weary head. Afraid of the forthcoming interrogation Ten will shower him to bring it out. The idea of it alone, convoluted and implausible, would bother anyone including Ten with the single ounce idea of it. He had sex with Taeyong. Even Yuta couldn't make out of.

 

Though about to answer, Ten managed to control his hype at the invite. Sending Yuta a judging look, "So you don't come to class when he isn't around. How sweet, Yuta." Although, already making his way to the exit, a path to the back gates where they can escape without getting noticed by the guards. 

 

Yuta watches the back of Ten's head as he followed behind. Albeit being overly concern on the tiniest of things, often times Ten didn't notice what's really substantial, or at least he haven't yet. Taking advantage of this, Yuta plays along blabbering about how scared he is to come to Health class because he didn't have anyone to copy his homework from. 

 

 

As though the room alone wasn't smothering enough, when he got home, he didn't expect Taeyong to be there. He stares at his crouching figure on the floor, the trace of spine visible at the shirt he was wearing. Taeyong must be one of the Gods for him to look impossibly fascinating on a plain attire. But then it clicks again, the disastrous memory from last night that overthrows him, the urge to run away, the spiteful struck on his responsive chord whenever Taeyong avoids and treats him like a plague. 

 

"I left my papers. I'll leave right away." 

 

Yuta stifles on his bed, sweaty hands clutching the sheets. It was so uncharacteristic for Taeyong's voice to sound apologetic, that despite his perfect appearance, there was a hint of sickness and exhaustion on his voice. As much as he wants to spill out the questions that lingers on his mouth, how they ended up like this, Yuta didn't. Until Taeyong is walking out the room, and Yuta supposes he's never coming back again. 

 

 

 

 

For a week, Yuta managed to dodge all the questions away: Where is Taeyong? What happened to Taeyong? Did you do something to Taeyong?; With the last question, that Yuta calls bullshit. Always sporting a taken aback expression for an answer. It was easy to feign innocence, or act like he doesn't care, because despite being roommates, everyone guesses Taeyong and him doesn't share an amicable bond anyway. So it was safe to assume none of them would suspect that Taeyong and him once shared a bed, which is the beginning of it all. 

 

After that very day, Yuta had quit to act civil with Doyoung too, ending the mutual pretense they've been playing in a while. Which earns loads of questions from Ten. However, he trusts Doyoung's ability to keep a secret, that he's confident that not even Jaehyun knows what happened between him and Taeyong. Or else, Johnny would be strangling him to death right about now if he finds out. Somehow, he feels bad for Ten. Poor dude was thoroughly miserable trying to make out what went wrong, the gap existing between Yuta and Doyoung that they're displaying just now, because he had too much faith on them for the tables to turn this way.

 

So when Ten walked passed him in the hallway, not even batting an eye and treating Yuta as if wishes he never existed at all. Yuta felt the rush of guilt, the strong urge to amend before it's too late and he loses him. Without a second thought, Yuta grabbed him the arm, pulling Ten with him. Once outside, the school garden, perhaps the most serene place in the school, Yuta stopped and let him go. There where no protesting or whining, the usual demeanor Ten would be showing if he isn't so obviously pissed at Yuta. 

 

"I have something to tell you." Yuta starts, ignoring the way Ten rolled his eyes. Because despite all that, Yuta knows he will listen, no matter how complicated and appalling this discussion gets. Even when he already pledged to keep it from everyone, Ten can effortlessly make him change his mind. He will always mean well, Yuta knows. Nonetheless, this discussion will lead both of them to discomfort in anyway so he starts with the basic by saying, "I punched Doyoung on the face. I was angry, because he dated Sooyoung and kept it from everyone. From me. I was mad because he's taken me for a fool. For being my friend, and dating the girl he knows I'm in love with without even thinking how it would hurt me." And everything else along those lines Ten could figure out for himself.

 

"Wh--what?" Ten croaks out. He doesn't say a word, or move and inch, mouth hanging open. With that, Yuta gives him enough time to process what had been spilled. He directs his gaze to Yuta that he'd been avoiding the past few this, and with a horrified expression, he asked, "He did that?" 

 

Through a gradual phase, Yuta managed to depreciate his indignation towards this matter. Probably because he had manage that he'd hurt enough of five years of unrequited love and now is the right time to give it up, that or probably what Taeyong surmised that he's not in love with the girl and rather by the thought of it, baffled him to the extent that he was slightly convinced. And therefore, being in love with her, or being subconsciously hurt by her, would cause Yuta the same damage. 

 

Yuta is the greatest fan of her existence. Two weeks before the show, there were posters everywhere of the upcoming theatre presentation: The Beauty And The Beast. He would be smiling, passing around hallways and staring at them in admiration, because Sooyoung looks so pretty in a yellow dress, and a rose in hand. Taeil, The Beast, who's character remained a secret from anyone, always tantalized them about looking forward to it. Yuta will be the first to get in line, to sit at the front row and applause for her; the performance was last night, but Yuta wasn't there at all. 

 

Also, Yuta wouldn't admit to anyone that yesterday, when he woke up from a deep slumber inside the library, he saw Seulgi and didn't hesitate to rush on to her. It might have been from the lethargic of not being fully awaken, but without further a due, he asked her where Taeyong is. For a second, Seulgi looked confused when she reached out behind Yuta. Quickly, Yuta moves to the side when he realized he was blocking Sooyoung's way to the table. "Yuta, Taeyong went home to his mom." With the amount of unhinging thoughts that wanders inside his head, and the transient glance Sooyoung sent him that makes his skin burn, there was no room for another inhibition. Yet, his heart dropped, if it was from the foreign feeling that hugs his nerves being close to Sooyoung's presence, or the strung of consience that lies underneath his pride, the damage was done and he had hurt Taeyong to the point where he had to leave. 

 

"And I slept with Taeyong." Yuta says without a warning, observing the way Ten's expression turn from irked to incredulity. The situation alone was bad enough, knowing no matter how careful he drops the bomb, it will still explode. "And I didn't want---I ask him to go back to his bed the next morning, he cried. Doyoung was there, he punched me." 

 

Ten fell on the ground, hands clutching his hair at the back of his head. This time, Yuta knew it wasn't because of the amount of the things that he missed, but the weight of it. He remained in that position and Yuta gave him all the time to process his revelations that was probably too much for Ten, or for anyone else who will hear it. 

 

"I was drunk and ---" 

 

"The liquor did it? Is that what you want to say?" Ten interrupts in a stern voice, throwing daggers at him. There was a hint of rage in his voice that had Yuta biting at his tongue. 

 

"No, I just. He kissed me first. He took my shirt off, and I was too stoned to avoid what was going to happen." Yuta defended, recalling the inclination that was there on Taeyong's eyes that Yuta, on his drunken state, didn't have the heart to refuse to his endeavour. Taeyong was too tempting that he gave in, but a sober Yuta thinks otherwise. "And fuck, I didn't want that. He's not--- I don't know. It's making me sick." 

 

"I knew it. You're the reason why he left." Ten palms his face as though he had given up at Yuta's hopelessness. "Yuta, he isn't some random hook up. Not everyone is a random hook up. You can't do him like Winwin." 

 

Up until now, Yuta still wonders if it was a careless mistake to sleep with Winwin. But if Winwin likes it, and he likes it too, even when they don't share anything other than a cordial friendship, then it should be okay, as long as it's kept hidden from his friends and none of them gets judged. Ten, the only person who knows aside from Doyoung, thinks it was obscene and always lecture him to quit doing it. Maybe because Winwin and him aren't the best of friends for either of them to know what's right and what's wrong it is to do to a friend, with Yuta believing having sex with him is simply helping each other when one needs it. However, what happened with Taeyong was a different case. Taeyong isn't Winwin, and to have sex with him isn't okay. 

 

"He kept on telling me he likes me." Yuta discloses. Perhaps it was frustrating, the lucidity of the words that came out of Taeyong's mouth that replays like a mantra on his ears. But it's difficult to tell apart, what a lie from what is not, unless he can get inside Taeyong's head, though he doesn't need any confirmation. It was pointless. 

 

"Damn." Ten exhales, standing up. He walks towards Yuta and dabs him on the chest."He probably thought you like him too."

 

"What?" 

 

"Yuta, you're a flirt. You flirt with everyone."

 

"I'm not."

 

"You gotta apologize to him." 

 

Yuta was going to protest but it's as though he saw right through him, about the flirting. Johnny treats Taeyong the same way, Doyoung even exaggerate his immersion towards him in an unimaginable capacity. How come Yuta is the only receiving end of the knock?

 

"And don't tell me he should be the one apologizing to you because you didn't want it. Because..... in the first place.... that wouldn't have to happen. Remember when you were drunk and tried kissing Taeil hyung? Johnny literally had to lock you in the restroom for 30 minutes. Or when you admitted to everyone that you like Sooyoung. Or when you confessed you're bisexual and ask me not to avoid you, like heck I would.." 

 

Hearing Ten's lecturing, Yuta wanted to object that he didn't really want it. Yet it was a weak retort to say that it only happened because he's too wasted, and to think straight is impossible when you're wasted and stressed-out. Besides, what Ten had  mentioned was entirely different, the kiss didn't happen at all. Or so what if he told everyone that he likes Sooyoung, so they would stop harassing him of the same dumb question. Or that he cheated on an exam, everyone does that at desperate times. Or that he's worried Ten will be disgusted if he finds out he's bisexual, it's normal to feel insecure. But Ten looks way too impatient and riled for another crap of an excuse Yuta will be spitting. Besides, Ten appears to be holding back his words, careful not to offend him that will make the situation even worse. Ten may not tolerate him, but wouldn't push him around either. 

 

"He'll be back by Monday." Ten says, a news that had Yuta lifting his head up. This time, Ten pinches Yuta's ear with his long fingernails making him squeak. "Poor Taeyong, for being in love with someone like you. I want to give him a hug." 

 

Coming from Ten, Yuta is aware that those words were hollow, if Taeyong was in love with him. He didn't really want to make a big deal out of it, that could only be coming from the heat of the moment while they  were indulging on the bed. Perhaps,  Taeyong didn't say it at all and it's only in his head, but the damage when he had to push Taeyong away...then maybe, he did say it. 

 

"If Johnny finds out, you're going to get killed." Ten daunts, turning around to look at him again just when Yuta believes he's so desperate on dismissing the topic. 

 

Of course, that's not going to happen. Or so, Yuta believes, hopes. But knowing Johnny wouldn't make it easy for him when he finds out. Yuta wishes Taeyong didn't cry, so he could believe that those three words where empty. That he didn't have to feel guilty. As much as he didn't want to think that Taeyong took advantage of him, he also put up much credence that it wasn't his fault and that Taeyong should've been more responsible with his actions. From his instinct, Yuta can tell, that according to the people around him, it's his own fault. Because on any angles, Taeyong is the only who cried, and perhaps the only one who's hurt. 

 

Taeyong didn't mean it when he said he loves him, Yuta is certain. So all his guilt decomposes and not an ounce was left after a week of avoiding each other, like plagues, at school. At first, he thought it would be difficult to renounce Taeyong off easily, and if he was angry at Yuta, then he's good at hiding it. But since he already moved out, and Taeyong always find his way to exchange seats with someone from the front row reasoning that his eyes are bad, and if Taeyong doesn't even want to look him in the eye, both of them were able to attain it. Yuta assuming it's Taeyong's initial plan as well, not some silly sort of reconciliation. 

 

Yuta didn't apologize. The last time Ten tried to convinced him to do so was the first time he did, and Yuta understood the unspoken reason, that Taeyong and him are better off apart. Amused at how well Taeyong can cope after such tragic, he probably deceived Johnny with a convincing lie as to why he moved out, given that Johnny isn't bombarding Yuta and leaving him out of the picture. If Taeyong can manage to look perfectly majestic like a freshly released manga character after the incidence, then why can't Yuta? It's a foolish hope, when a single glance of Sooyoung or Doyoung in the hallways makes him want to run away, or the simple thought of Taeyong gives him the jitters. 

 

As much as he wants to get over, Yuta needed someone to let out all his resentment. Somewhat, it doesn't feel right to talk to Ten all his resentments regarding Doyoung, although he didn't doubt it when he said he already broke up with Sooyoung. There was no point in lying anyway, or telling Yuta that in the first place. The damage was done with only the remedy is Yuta's forgiveness. But it's too early to settle it, and Yuta doesn't know if it's even meritorious to forgive him. Taeyong would've been a good company to talk it all about, because Taeyong doesn't judge or reprimand him, if only Yuta didn't treat him unfairly. 

 

"Oh I'm so---" 

 

Yuta didn't finish his apology, if the sullen look Taeyong sent him wasn't enough to downgrade him yet,  with his chin held up as high as his brushed up hair, intimidating Yuta in so many levels. His arm accidentally bumped on Taeyong's who was taking down notes, a mere of an accident if Taeyong's response didn't made Yuta feel so small. And he fights all the urge to rant about his overt reaction. Yuta opts to compose himself, since the conscience of him doing Taeyong wrong still lingers no matter how much he wants to believe that it wasn't his fault. 

 

What a coincidence was it, Yuta was about the brush his teeth at the restroom sink , facing the mirror, Ten was there too and way too engrossed flossing his teeth when Taeyong barged in making his way to the urinal. Watching him from the mirror, Taeyong stood still, looking back at him. As though Taeyong is aware that Ten isn't oblivious to what went on between them because he can act intimidating around Yuta, like he always does when none of their friends are around, not afraid for questions. 

 

"Don't look." Taeyong commands, turning around. It covers everything important, and maybe Taeyong is just self conscious that Yuta is there to see him pee. 

 

Yuta would fulminate about how Taeyong should hush about his prudery and that he'd seen it all anyway, but he's afraid Ten would judge him so he says instead, "You can jack off for all you want I wouldn't even glance." 

 

"Jack off, really Yuta." Ten grunts, making Yuta think he should've opt to say the first one instead. Ten mutters about leaving him out of whatever it is Yuta and Taeyong should be doing in a private place, so he excuses himself to wait outside and tells them not to take too long. 

 

By the time Taeyong finished, Yuta has yet to begin to brush his teeth. Unconscious that he actually end up staring at Taeyong's back, in lost of what to retort at Ten's sneering, and he saw Yuta doing so. As Yuta expects, Taeyong isn't in this to ignore him, but rather to provoke him. But he isn't some impending threat Yuta is terrified about, if anything, Taeyong and his effort is adorable. 

 

"Pervert." Taeyong muttered under his breath, almost inaudible as he walked pass Yuta. 

 

"Excuse me?" Yuta complains right away before Taeyong could make it to the door. Clumsily closing the lid of the toothpaste in annoyance. When did the simplest of Taeyong's words start having too much effects on him?  

 

Taeyong turns back around, eyes shooting daggers at Yuta. By the oppressive look on his face, Yuta would be scared if he hadn't known the fragility of the person he's facing right now, behind the solemn mask he's wearing. In addition to that, is his cute voice that says "Well, aren't you?" 

 

Yuta has a list of lines to retaliate. He could say the same for Taeyong, too, who bed him when he was on a drunken state. But judging by his actions of being defensive, Yuta concludes it's going to hurt him so he didn't. And suddenly, it feels ridiculous to be arguing over debauchery with the guy he just fucked. Yuta wouldn't admit that the blurred images of Taeyong naked on his bed still throw him off, so without another word, he let's Taeyong walk out on him. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yuta, you are changing."

 

Ten comments bold out of the blue. He reaches the plastic bags of junk foods in Yuta's hands and carry it right when they got out the convenient store. 

 

Yuta would ask why, but Ten isn't stupid to notice. After his incident with Taeyong, Yuta is in a constant frustration and headache, that he is left with a small control of his propriety. Too subdued to scrimmage with the thought of Taeyong that lingers in his conscience. Yesterday, he screamed at Jisung when the younger greeted him with a clutch on the arm, an unusual reflex because Yuta is someone composed and wouldn't do that at normal circumstances. He apologized though, but Jisung looked so terrified that he doubts the younger will talk to him ever again. Or last week when Seulgi approached him and Yuta literally sprints away from her into thinking that Taeyong sent her to upraid him, when in fact, Johnny said she's just need Yuta's help for japanese translations on her arts project. Yuta wouldn't admit it's paranoia, because Seulgi could only be using that as an excuse to get the two of them for a talk, so she can chide Yuta with all her might to defend her bestfriend. 

 

Today, Yuta swore he didn't mean to get angry at the cashier who forgot to give him the receipt. Or when he pushed Ten for accidentally stepping on his shoe, it's white so it's reasonable to get angry? Yuta has no intention to hurt anyone, he's just making mere frantics. He'll get over. He didn't have a problem either and there's nothing to worry about, or at least he thinks so. But on the other side, he knows this is the reason why Ten didn't agreed upon moving to his room. Because Yuta is a prick who isn't on his right mind, a walking dickhead. 

 

"It's about Taeyong, right?" Ten dares to ask. 

 

They've been avoiding it, to discuss such sensitive topic. Which Yuta wishes he was drunk enough to the point where he wouldn't remember what happened. To erase the feeling of Taeyong's warmth against his skin that permeates to his whole being, the touches, the moans, and the image of Taeyong naked under him. "Fuck." Yuta grunts and let's out and exasperated sigh. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

- 

 

"I'm sorry, I really wanted to help you unpack." 

 

Amicably, Taeyong left his door half open that allows Kun to enter. The atmosphere in the apartment was warm, with his new roommate that could possibly be one of the nicest person on Earth. Taking a breather from the things he wanted to forget, he decided to went back to his home. A perfect timing to meet his three week old nephew he's been dying to see right after his mom sent him a message that his sister gave birth. Being home helped Taeyong to ease his mind. He busies himself with the house chores, taking care of his nephew and the house dog, helping his mom cook, anything to save himself from the unwanted thoughts of Nakamoto Yuta. 

 

Going back to Seoul, Taeyong clutch his fingers in fear of the possible prying questions that's in line for him. But what he got are a bunch of congratulations for being the most handsome uncle ever and that's the time when Taeyong was able to breathe without the worries in his throat. He isn't a very good liar, and Johnny was sharp and difficult to fool, but when asked why he moved out, he convinced everyone when he used the excuse of having a newborn baby in the house obliged him to financial control, and the rent at Kun's apartment is half the price of staying in the dorm. Doyoung is always there to back him up, so Taeyong feels safe sitting beside him when they have lunch together. 

 

Taeyong can already imagine what of a mauler Johnny will become once he find out everything. Doyoung wouldn't expose anything, and he trust Yuta's silence. The only one close to knowing other than those two is Ten, to which opinions' Taeyong don't care much about. Behind Yuta's angelic smiles was a person Taeyong doesn't want to encounter ever again, so for self-defense, he avoids Yuta with all his might. It's a matter of five months of being friendly with him, versus the five years of Taeyong neglecting his presence so it should he easy for him to adjust, but.... 

 

Kun isn't one to pry. In fact, he let's Taeyong do what he wants. From not questioning how often he cleaned up the kitchen in a day, how much sugar cubes he put on his coffee, or how he let's Taeyong cry himself to sleep in his room at night. Kun is one of the friends he wishes he'd known longer. But maybe he'd had enough of Taeyong too, for his desolation is infecting the whole house, so he said, "There's something bothering you..." 

 

Although it made him sick to his stomach talking about it, Kun's voice was gentle and feels reassuring. So Taeyong tells him everything, without hiding the fact that he's in love with Yuta. Anyone would judge him into thinking that he took advantage of Yuta being drunk, he did kiss him first , but there wasn't an escape when Yuta trapped him on the bed, and caged him with his strong legs, and that didn't happen only once and Taeyong could still recall every details. That tricked him into actually believing that maybe Yuta wants him too. So when he woke up to Yuta's denial, it crashed and burned him. Still, it hurts to think about. As though Taeyong is left with no option other than to live with the pain. Knowing there won't be any changes or consolation until Yuta is around. 

 

"Did he say he likes you too?" Kun asked in a careful voice, afraid that the question is going to break another chord in Taeyong's sensitive heart.

 

Giving him a sad smile, Taeyong shook his head. Yuta doesn't like him. It's just Taeyong who mistook Yuta's kindness into thinking that Yuta likes him too. There aren't any words to butter up the pain of a broken heart, and that left him no option but to endure it. Kun didn't coax him for another false hope, instead, he offered Taeyong a warm hug to calm him down from having to cry again. 

 

Doyoung and Jaehyun became a regular people at their apartment, and other times with Johnny tagging along. Taeyong became acquainted to the same scene of Kun sending Doyoung out, to which the latter ignores all the time that will make Jaehyun laugh. Today, only the couple came and surprised Taeyong with a bouquet of flowers and a chocolate box. 

 

"Happy birthday, hyung!" Jaehyun greets him and pulled him to a hug. 

 

Even if Taeyong claims he hates birthday celebrations, his heart flutters at the simplest greetings and surprises. This year is different from the past since it's weekend and he didn't have to celebrate it at school with a silly birthday song inside the classroom. 

 

"A bouquet of flowers, really?" Taeyong feigns annoyance, when they all know he feels otherwise. 

 

"Just be thankful I got you that." Doyoung hisses. "And happy birthday." 

 

"Nothing I received on Valentine's day. My birthday." Jaehyun spits, elbowing Doyoung in the chest who gasp in return. "But Tae hyung, it's your day. You deserve all the love in the world!" 

 

Chuckling at Jaehyun's exaggeration, Taeyong placed the gifts on the table and run back to the stove. He's making a breakfast for Kun that has yet to wake up, a freewill duty he does every morning. In return, he gets the younger to help him with his school homeworks. 

 

"Oh my god, pokemon!"

 

"What a child." Doyoung sighed, shaking his head as he watches Jaehyun run to the living room. The new set up of the living room, Pokemon themed covers on the furnishings, catches Jaehyun's eyes for sure.

 

"You love him." Taeyong teased, and hands Doyoung the knife and the chopping board who offered to help. 

 

"I have a high tolerance, if you haven't notice." 

 

Which is true, because he managed to keep up with Taeyong's intricacies all these time. There was an abrupt silence, and on the tip of Taeyong's tongue, there is a questions he wants to ask Doyoung; Why did he went out with Sooyoung behind Yuta's back, knowing that it will hurt Yuta to the core. They never really have the chance to talk about Doyoung, since all Taeyong do is cry whenever they are left alone and Taeyong is reminded of his own mistake. But he figures it could ruin the  placidity that is there between them. He can swallow the curiosity that lingers in his throat, instead of losing the serenity that Doyoung always allot him. 

 

"I'm attending an assembly for my class. I asked Jaehyun to come here with me so he could take you out. Don't want you to waste your birthday here in an ugly apartment with a loser." Doyoung flashes him a wry smile. 

 

"A loser, huh?" Taeyong repeats. Just then, his phone starts buzzing. There were consecutive messages from someone he never expects,

 

From: Yukuri

<10:13 am> 

 

Happy birthday

 

Taeyong reads another of the same message, and the next one to make sure he read the sender right. Suddenly, there's a churning in his stomach. The steering of the butterflies whenever he catches Yuta looking at him, or their stolid quick banter that happens more often than not. There are the stark simplicity that shouldn't make Taeyong crazy, but it does, the frantic swerve of his emotions of anything that is about Yuta. 

 

"Who's that?" Doyoung inquires. 

 

"Oh, n--nothing." Taeyong stammers, pocketing his phone. Not that he is afraid of possible judgment if Doyoung finds out a single text from Yuta is making him flush, but rather, his contrition for his own ego. Throughout, he learned being easy for someone will cheapen his self value. The lowest degree he'd put himself into. "Birthday notifs." 

 

"Hyung, finish quickly! I'm hungry!" Jaehyun shouts from the living room. 

 

 

 

 

The thing about Jaehyun, is that he likes to look good. Today, he helped Taeyong dressed up and spent about an hour choosing what clothes to wear. Although he ends up wearing a black tanktop and white jeans, he isn't complaining because at least Jaehyun stopped with his scolding. Allowing the younger to style his hair for another thirty minutes because Taeyong had given up with his neglected protests. Just as Taeyong is about to say he looks funny looking at himself in the mirror, Doyoung says he does and comments about Kun probably dead inside his room before leaving. 

 

"You look sexy as hell." Jaehyun gasped. 

 

"What even." Taeyong laughed. He really doesn't want to wear sleeveless shirts outside the house, but Jaehyun looked so pleased that he didn't have the heart to kick up a fuss. Suprising himself at the self-command he'd manage to develop lately. 

 

Taeyong isn't surprised that Jaehyun is taking him to a something lame like a third floor commercial building. The first floor, a cafe they're about to enter, the second floor, an arcade, and the third, a dermatology clinic; an unusual setting. At the very least, the cafe is looking decent with it's white walls and flooring, expensive looking chandeliers that hangs on the ceiling. Jaehyun probably saw his admiration to the place, and says, "I knew you'd like it here. Let me get you a cake." 

 

One step away, they didn't make it to display of the baked goods. Because Taeyong heard the unpredictable, the horror, the subject of his nightmare. 

 

"Yuta hyung! Ten hyung!" Jaehyun calls. 

 

There was no time to process, or for the vicious beating of his heart to calm, because Jaehyun is pulling him to the table of doom. The next second, he got pushed to  a seat and Taeyong swore  he'd hate Jaehyun after this. Because right now, Yuta is probably staring at him with hawk eyes. 

 

"Hey, happy birthday." Ten greets warily, aware of the uncomfortable situation that's happening right before his eyes. 

 

"Are you guys out on a date?" Jaehyun asked them, enthusiast. Even if he meant no harm, his obliviousness is putting everyone in the table in a disturbing situation. 

 

"Jae, there's a karaoke above... Let's make a bet, and shit." Ten tries. 

 

"I'll go--" 

 

"No." Ten cuts Yuta. 

 

All Taeyong wants is to leave the place. But he is too petrified to even breathe. The effects Yuta has on him is unwordly enough that has his chest heaving and unheaving in an exasperating motion. Tears swelling at the corner of his eyes, the last of his pride, that he promised not to let go this time. There's no forgetting the memory of being shoved away, but he couldn't erase the images of Yuta's pleasured face either.   Taeyong bit his lip, because it feels like any movement of his hand or feet would be wrong under Yuta's judgment. 

 

"You look good today."

 

The first one to speak is Yuta. As much as it sounded like a disingenuous flattery, Taeyong still finds his fists clenching from the uncontrolled emotion that punch in his guts. It didn't help either when Yuta adds,

 "Are you trying to seduce me?" 

 

At that, Taeyong wouldn't admit the shivers that was sent down his spine from the bad case of jitters Yuta is giving him. His toes curls, eyes trained on the ground and avoiding Yuta's gaze, because his tantalizing eyes is not much Taeyong could take, and wishes his ears and cheeks that probably turned red would go unnoticed by Yuta. It's just an sleeveless shirt he's wearing, but Taeyong feels so exposed under Yuta's gaze. 

 

"Should I get you something? What do you want to order?" Yuta offers. 

 

"Stop. Stop. Just stop." Taeyong spat out his words. Surprising himself at how he's able to repress to his emotions, not giving in despite how weak Yuta had made him with his empty words, now that Yuta's voice alone works wonders at the small of sanity that is left within him. Yuta is acting like as though the person that sent him off to dejection, the cause of all his blues, has never existed. "I don't want to talk to you anymore. I don't want to be here. "

 

Their table fell into a silence, a knowing tension takes in. Taeyong closed his eyes for what was there to come. This time, allowing Yuta to make a response that he's been waiting for, a rejection that would put an end to all these. Taeyong is convinced that Yuta wouldn't like him back, but he insist to hear the words that could hurt him to the core, for him to be able to stop with his delusions. But what he heard was a rustle of chair against the floor. And the hand that was placed on the top of his head made him jolt. 

 

"I'll go upstairs and send Jaehyun down. Wait for him." Yuta says. 

 

Hearing the footsteps that was fading, the absence of Yuta's hand on top of his head makes him feel so alone. Yuta's words aren't strong enough to tell him it's over, and Taeyong hates himself too much for still hoping. Now is the time Taeyong wishes Johnny was there to discourage him, to recite him the list of terrible things possible to happen if he insist his feelings towards Yuta. The tears began to fall when Yuta left, the aftershock of the predicament he was just in. 

 

"Hyung! I'm sorry I forgot about the cake! I --- are you crying?" Jaehyun gazes at him with a questioning look. 

 

"I'm not crying, I just.." Taeyong stood up, wiping his tears with the back of his hands, as though such a blatant denial could convince Jaehyun. 

 

"What happened?" Jaehyun whispers, arms reaching out to embrace him. 

 

"Let's just get out of here. Please." 

 

 

 

Taeyong went back to his bed without saying a word, with Jaehyun following him. The younger stayed by his side, comforting him and whispering words of encouragements for him to hush. It might have been too frustrating for Jaehyun to deal with him in this condition, without knowing in the first place what was going on. But it would take too much effort for Taeyong to explain, and it's even difficult to say a word with his tightened throat.

 

"Did Yuta made you cry?" Jaehyun muses. "Is he the reason why you left the dorm?" 

 

Although he expects Jaehyun to ask that sooner, the last question was over the top. The accuracy that drives Taeyong up the wall. It was easy to say no, but denying something evident, Taeyong isnt fooling anyone. "Do--don't tell Doyoung anything." He pleads. 

 

Jaehyun didn't asked anymore. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Who are you?" 

 

"An 18 year old handsome who doesn't need a Yuta in my life." 

 

There was a brief silence, and Kun's jaw goes slack at the response that bolts out of the blue. Laughing incredulously at Taeyong's morning face, hair standing everywhere and a constant frown on his brows. 

 

"What did he do again?" He asked, sitting across him at the table counter and pours an appropriate amount of cereal on his bowl. Whilst Taeyong looked like he pour two cereal box on his. 

 

"He hates breathing." Taeyong grumbles, mouth full. He hates cereals. Taeyong hates himself enough, hence, he's having cereals for breakfast. Last night was spent with meditation and Taeyong cleared his mind. Diverting his self hate, to Yuta, a paradox who loves to play havoc with his emotions. Because according to Taeyong's logical judgment, Yuta means nothing more than a dawn of imperial doom. Whether infatuation or love, it's meant to hurt, and Taeyong will heal. 

 

"So it's him. You met him yesterday?" Kun catechized, wiping the droplets of milk the spilled on the table under Taeyong's intense gaze. 

 

There's a constant pout on Taeyong's lips when he nods, eyes trained on the crumpled tissue Kun pushed to the side. "He had to be at that cafe with Ten. As if me, seeing him at school, isn't annoying enough." 

 

"Happy birthday to you, then." Kun mocks, leaning back just in case his new roommate is not a morning a person. Tables were turned because instead, he's the one adjusting to Taeyong moving in to his apartment. Kun is very anxious of his sensitivity. "But Taeyong, what if he wants for the two of to reconcile? Would you take that?" 

 

The thing is, whenever Taeyong is on a fit of pique, which is most of time, Kun talks to him. So Taeyong could loosen up and doesn't have to keep everything bottled up to himself. He doesn't have that many people to run to. Since he's under a very sensitive and explicit issue, he decided not to tell Seulgi, which makes her out of the option alongside Johnny. Doyoung would not tolerate anything like his feelings for Yuta, and that he's still mourning over it, for Doyoung might butcher either of them. 

 

Though, Taeyong wouldn't admit that he had thoughts regarding that, or that he even looked forward to it. Getting over Yuta is difficult, for his mind is still enveloped with the assurance of Yuta's smiles. As much as Taeyong wouldn't want to sit on perpetual longing for him, he can stay angry at him as an excuse of letting go. 

 

"Taeyong, help yourself." 

 

"I don't need him." Taeyong spits, with a vigorous roll of eyes. 

 

"Majestic, like always." Kun comments with a laugh. 

 

"I didn't know cereals taste this good." 

 

 

 

Taeyong hates everything about Yuta, or his guts in particular. Pestering Taeyong with petty topics in his attempts to engage them in a conversation inside the class, or that one time when Doyoung didn't eat with them for lunch and all the words possible came out of Yuta's mouth to flatter Taeyong, he talked non-stop, that even Taeil and Johnny were pissed and told him to shut up. There was an instance in chemistry lab too when hands were placed on Taeyong's hips and chin rested on his shoulder, it only lasted for a millisecond and Taeyong jumped when Yuta whispered to his ear. Though his head failed to function for a minute, he managed to shove Yuta away. Making his final statement of "Leave me alone!" 

 

Somehow, that worked. Probably because Yuta doesn't want to get shouted at inside the class again, that or he saw how annoyed Taeyong was the last time. He lie low from his chivy, and opts to sit at the front where Jungwoo is. Although he still carries on leaving a milk box and chocolate crossaint on Taeyong's desk on recess time, Taeyong is definite on disregarding him, and handing the meal to his seatmate instead when Yuta isn't looking. He could get use to it again, ignoring Yuta's existence along with his feelings for him. All Taeyong needs is time, and the solidity of the walls he established between them.

 

However, Taeyong didn't expect it when Yuta barged in his room and greets him with a loud, "Taeyong." Startled, he jumps up on his seat. Eyes dilating at Yuta who's walking towards him in quick steps. 

 

"W--what are you." Taeyong bites, the question died in his throat and he leaned back when Yuta steps closer. His skin shivers suddenly, maybe from Yuta's presence, or the cold humidity of the room from the aftershower. "Get out!" 

 

Yuta stopped on his tracks, eyes focused on Taeyong with an intent look. Silence hugs the room for a brief moment, and his gaze never leaving Taeyong's. 

 

Taeyong's throat went dry, and his breath accelerates in an abnormal pace. He didn't think looking at Yuta's face again after a long time would make his heart to thump out of his ribcage , if it was possible to fall for Yuta even deeper. Setting all his asserted anger for Yuta aside, like a firefly attracted to the flames, Taeyong is drawn in to him again. 

 

"Taeyong, speak to me." Yuta demands, eyes travelling from Taeyong's wet hair down to his bare legs. 

 

For the mean time, Taeyong forgets he's only wearing boxer shorts that barely covers his thighs. Picking up a pillow to cover when he noticed Yuta has diverted his gaze now. "How did you even get in here?" 

 

"The door." Yuta states a matter of factly, eyes back at Taeyong's own. He hadn't look anywhere in the room but Taeyong, along with his blunt request, his pure intention was to make Taeyong talk to him. "Taeyong, if there's anything I could do so you would forgive me. I'd do it." 

 

Never in his dreams did he imagine Yuta would ask for forgiveness. But that's Yuta, a stunner, full of surprises, and in order to protect himself, Taeyong doesn't want to trust him again. To which sounded more of a command rather than an apology, and knowing Yuta, he wouldn't give Taeyong time to ruminate and he's stepping closer again without allowing him to think. It was an illogical response when Taeyong says, "There's nothing for you to apologize for. I'm not mad at you. There's nothing wrong between us." 

 

"You're avoiding me." Yuta claims in a soft voice. With Taeyong's lies completely disregarded.

 

There was no lie in what he said. But Taeyong wouldn't justify his actions because they both know why, the predicament they got themselves into that has no way out.  "Just, get over it, Yuta. I'm okay, you don't have to feel sorry." 

 

"You said you're not mad at me, but you're avoiding me." Yuta protest.

 

"I'm not." 

 

"You are." 

 

"I don't care about you." Taeyong spits, in hopes to make Yuta shut up. Nonetheless, he knows it's a fail attempt when Yuta opens his mouth another time.

 

"Admit it, you can't tell Johnny because you don't want him to hate me. You care for me." Yuta challenged with an even confidence. Smirking a little when Taeyong is taken by surprise, like a deer caught in the headlights. 

 

With that, sanity that is left in Taeyong has completely driven away being exposed to Yuta's vicinity. There was a glint of victory in Yuta's eyes, that even if Taeyong would deny that, he wouldn't buy it. " Just leave me alone." 

 

"You are angry."

 

"Shut up. Do you want me to kiss you again? " Taeyong slurred. So Yuta would say no, and for him to realize that they shouldn't be involved with one another ever again. There's no way he could offer Taeyong anything more than friendship, and Taeyong would rather decline that because seeing Yuta and remembering what went on between them could still damage him, if it had to effects on Yuta.

 

"Kiss me." Yuta  commands, catching Taeyong's wrists.

 

Taeyong just want to burst in tears, for Yuta might leave again if he does so, just like the last time. Even if Yuta is way too tempting for his continence, he shouldn't succumb to that. Yuta is so seamless, and Taeyong would want to kiss him anytime he gets the chance, but Taeyong is afraid knowing that Yuta has power to destroy him even with a single word. 

 

"Stop it, Yuta. You don't like me at all, I'm completely aware of that." Taeyong concedes, although that absolute fact was difficult to admit and still hurts him. 

 

Another moment of silence enveloped the room. The fear that Yuta might fess up that it was true, or that Taeyong might cry any time again. There's no one else in the house, and Taeyong is too asthenic to fend for himself from Yuta's grievous territory. Crossing his fingers as he wishes for Kun to arrive home from the market, so he could save Taeyong from this dilemma. 

 

Yuta sets his wrists free, and he stepped back, with his head hanging low. "If I could turn back time, I wouldn't push you away that day---" 

 

"Stop feeling sorry." Taeyong interrupts, because if Yuta says more, he might believe him and Taeyong doesn't want to. All his suffering from whatever Yuta had put him through shouldn't go down the drain just because of empty words. Taeyong should've learned from them. 

 

"I think I like you." 

 

"You don't." Taeyong says calm, although he screamed it inside his head. Someone should educate Yuta and elaborate him the difference between like and pity, and Taeyong is certain that it's the latter that Yuta has for him. A confession of sort Taeyong will never feel flattered about, and disappointed rather.

 

"If I'm fine with seeing you naked, then maybe I could try." Yuta states, but it sounded more of like a question. 

 

An evident blush crept up on Taeyong's cheeks. He should be offended at the sudden lewd remark, but Yuta's filthy mouth gets him every time and Taeyong hates himself for it. Yuta has him on his palms, and Taeyong is spellbound even with the sound of his breathing. If he was to make a choice, he wouldn't want anything to do with Yuta anymore. But defying him was difficult, and Taeyong knows he's gravely mistaken again when he leans in and catches Yuta's lips. 

 

The sensation of Yuta's lips against his from that innocent kiss got his hopes up, and he knows will break him once they pull apart. But Yuta, again, like the last time, is grabbing the back of Taeyong's head to bring him closer. A gasp escaped his lips when Yuta's hand on his hip travels down to caress his thigh, squeezing it that had Taeyong groaning in excitement. Taeyong opened his mouth at that, and Yuta use it as an entrance to licks at mouth more. Entangling his tongue against Taeyong's violently, to let out the moans he's been holding back. 

 

As though it's just a stolen moment to intoxicate Taeyong and leave him empty afterwards, Yuta is moving fast. The hand that was at the back of Tayeong's head is now travelling to the expanse of his stomach when Yuta slipped it under his shirt. There's a bittersweet fervor when Taeyong opens his eyes and saw Yuta's dark ones staring back at him. It's like the replay of what happened the first time they touched, when Yuta placed a hand on his chest to push him down the bed and hovers above him. Except, Yuta doesn't taste like liquor this time, and Taeyong is addicted.

 

His whole body trembles in incitation when Yuta nips at his lower lip. Hands grazing anywhere in Taeyong's body that he knows is sensitive, and he goes languid in Yuta's touch. The gentleness was gone when Yuta drives his tongue deeper into Taeyong's mouth, swallowing his moans. All Taeyong could think about is Yuta's lips, the sensation making his mind go blank, and he forgets everything else that isn't Yuta. Kissing Yuta back for more to help himself just in case Yuta's sober self backs away any moment. But Taeyong is afraid to touch, the doubt still lingers despite all the sensation Yuta is giving him, and he stills his hand on the bedsheet for leverage. 

 

Taeyong doesn't know how long they've been kissing. For it was pure bliss to be in Yuta's touch, and Taeyong would dare to even admit to Yuta that he loves him without a trace of shame. That he doesn't care if Yuta only came here for the sex. Or if Yuta is going to use him again. Because that's what love does to people. It makes you excited, crazy and even pathetic. Maybe someday, in time, from their touch and kisses, Yuta might learn to love him too.  
Inside these four walls, he can have Yuta again and again. 

 

Yuta was first to pull away when there was a faint knock on the door, and Taeyong has never felt so empty to not be in his touch. 

 

"Tae, are you there? The front door is open." 

 

Taeyong looks at Yuta, and he blushes at the sudden realization of what they've just done. Yuta is buttoning his own jeans and Taeyong heart races, he didn't know Yuta unbottoned them in the first place, and if he did then he really wants....

 

"Taeyong?" 

 

"I--I'm here." Taeyong responds in a trembling voice. He couldn't relax when Yuta sits beside at him, and stares on his face while licking his own lips, red from their previous activity. 

 

"Okay, I'm going to cook now." Kun says, and his footsteos fade to the kitchen. 

 

"Shit, what a bummer. Should we continue where we left of?" Yuta whispers, giving Taeyong no time to respond, and hands reaching out to the undo his jeans again. 

 

 

Taeyong has never seen Kun looking so harassed when he realizes Taeyong wasn't alone in his room. If the noises he heard isn't evident enough of what the two have done inside. Too dumbstruck to say anything as he stood by the kitchen door, with a spatula in hand, that he may or may not throw at the both of them once he's pulled out of his trance. 

 

"What?" Yuta deadpans. 

 

Kun didn't flinched at the impoliteness, unlike Taeyong who isn't used to see him acting rude. Face unchanging as he stares blankly at both of them, ignorning Yuta's question. 

 

"Help him pack, he's going back to the dorm with me." Yuta ordes Kun as though they're buddies, when he knows they aren't. Because Kun rarely hangs out with their group of friends, with a verbal reason that he doesn't like Doyoung. 

 

"What?" Taeyong is the one to ask this time. There's no way he's going back in the dorm with Yuta, and he's ridiculous for even thinking that. He wouldn't even want to consider it. Although it's nice to know that there's a wishful thinking inside Yuta's head that Taeyong will come back to live in the dorm with him, Taeyong wouldn't want to consider it. Aware that he will bring along his rigor anyway anywhere he goes, at least, being apart from Yuta, and a demanding Johnny, will give him the oppurtunity to think. 

 

 

 

 

Yuta is still in dazed. Maybe such emotional reaction occurs when you act according to your heart, instead of your head. To the point where his feet were perplexed whether to come to Taeyong or not, and his heart wins, the next thing that happened was out of Yuta's control as his head fails to function. Body acting on it's own and he finds himself on place where he'd want to stay, inside Taeyong's eyes. Although he doesn't understand why Taeyong is still ignoring him in class, or why Taeyong had to push him out of the apartment when he said he wants to take him back to the dorms. Taeyong calls him that night, and Yuta was too eager to pick it up only to be yelled at and forbid him to come back to his apartment. 

 

The other day, Hansol cornered him in his room. Not like Yuta didn't expect anyone would notice but, it caught him off guard when Hansol asked what happened to Taeyong. Furthermore, his wrong answer when he said "I didn't do anything to him." And he's caught, because Hansol was boring holes into his head and gave him a nonchalant, "I didn't say you did. So what did you do?" Such tragic. Though as much as Yuta loves and respects Hansol, some things are not meant to be said, and the older convinced him for an hour to speak yet failed to squeeze the words out of him. 

 

He anticipates the cold treatment from Johnny. Although he's certain Taeyong kept it from him, it's not possible that he is clueless. And Johnny's maturity towards this is quite impressive, considering the fact he's a loud fretful Yeti, as Yuta calls him. If not chastening him, Yuta could say that Johnny stopped talking to him too, like what he did to Doyoung. But Johnny is different, and Yuta only needs time, until then, he'd speak to Johnny and made up with him. 

 

"I swear, you're acting weird." 

 

Yuta ignores Ten's comment, eyes still trained at the objects of his disturbance. What happened between him and Taeyong, Yuta kept it to himself and decides not to tell anyone. Not even Ten for he might demand for an explanation and Yuta isn't ready to give him one. Unsure of his stance, and lost in words. 

 

He watches as Doyoung placed a hand on Taeyong's back as they laugh together, although he couldn't hear them from a far, it looks like they're having fun. With Taeyong looking too engrossed to whatever Doyoung was saying, and Yuta wants to pull Taeyong away from him and his lies. Yuta has felt this way before. Every time Jaehyun would arrive in their table at lunch and he's all Taeyong could see, talking about anime Yuta knows more than anyone and that Taeyong should be talking to him instead. Or when Johnny would shamelessly ask others to move away just to sit beside Taeyong.While on top of that, there's Doyoung, who always steals Taeyong's attention, touches him, and all over him as if he owns Taeyong, and how it pisses him off every time Taeyong mentions his name. It was jealousy, which Yuta should've figured out sooner, before he'd given Doyoung a reason to punch him in front of Taeyong, defending him. Knowing it only gave Taeyong a reason to trust him more than Yuta. 

 

He didn't think of his actions when Yuta gets up from his seat in the lobby and strides towards them, snatch Taeyong's phone but not before stealing a kiss on his cheek, to which surprises Taeyong and making him jump. 

 

Yuta isn't crazy, or acting weird like what Ten told him just now. It's just that, there's something about Taeyong that magnets his senses towards him, that Yuta can't resist. To a degree where he would realize that he'd done it, and there's no turning back. 

 

"Meet me at the rooftop!" Yuta shouts at them, ignoring the incredulous look that Doyoung is giving him. Enjoying the startled look on Taeyong's face, who's gaping at him in an adorable manner. Yuta flashes him a big smile and a wink, before running. 

 

Although he didn't have a plan B on what to do if Taeyong shows up with Doyoung by his side, there's a smile plastered on his lips because Taeyong is coming to him any moment. However, his heart drops way too soon when he tampers with Taeyong's phone, and on his first click, the screen lights up showing Seulgi holding a puppy as the wallpaper. 

 

"Bestfriend my ass." He mutters to himself. Not accepting the defeat and took a photo of himself with a smile he knows that will melt Taeyong's heart, and sets it as the wall paper. 

 

"Give it back!" Taeyong strides towards him, stomping his feet in annoyance. To which his face contorts more when Yuta greets him with a smile, as if he didn't just poke fun of him in front of the other students. 

 

Yuta hummed in response, and meets him halfway, extending his arm with Taeyong's phone in hand. But he had other things in mind, when Taeyong reached out for it, he pulled him by the arm instead and closes their distance by grabbing him on the hips. 

 

But Taeyong didn't seemed startled, and he isn't squirming out of Yuta's hold the way he expects him to. Instead, there's a nonchalant look on his face when he says, "Aren't you obsessed?" 

 

"Now you're one to talk." Yuta laughs, because maybe it's true. That or he's feeling way too victorious to have Taeyong in his arms right now. A gasp escaped his mouth when Taeyong placed a chaste kiss on his lips, and he wishes Taeyong would think the red on his cheeks comes from the cold blowing wind. There's a button on Yuta's senses that clicked once he felt Taeyong's soft lips on his, as though it was the first time they kiss. And all Yuta could think about, is kissing him again.

 

"There you go, now give me back my phone." Taeyong whispers in his sweet voice, that weakens Yuta even more, as if he knows how much effects he has on Yuta. He finds the chance to snatch his phone back, fishing it out from Yuta's back pocket and pulls away from him. 

 

The warmth that was there awhile back, his sweet fragrance, leaves Yuta completely empty. But he's still too dumbstruck about that one little kiss Taeyong stole. Mind fails to function because the whole idea of getting Taeyong alone with him is to talk, yet he's too stupefied to even take a breath. 

 

"I'll leave now, Mr. Nakamoto. There's something important Doyoung is telling me." 

Upon hearing the name, it struck a chord to his brain and Yuta didn't let Taeyong take another step, grabbing him on the arm. He's jealous, and Taeyong should know it. "Don't you go leaving me for Doyoung." 

 

"What? I couldn't hear you." 

 

If Taeyong is in the mood for teasing, Yuta doesn't find it funny at all. There's a frustration that riles him up at the single mention of Doyoung's name. He hopes Taeyong hasn't forgotten what occured between him and Doyoung and would comprehend his pique, instead of using it as a weapon to aggravate him. Yuta can take jokes, but detestation along with jealousy, that's exceeding the limit. 

 

"Go out with me." Yuta says, that was supposedly an invite but it turns out to be a statement. Even it surprises him, but Yuta wants to be possessive just this once. Maybe the confidence is coming from the fact and he knows that Taeyong likes him too. However, Taeyong doesn't look surprised or happy and the next second, Yuta is stewn over the thought that maybe Taeyong has changed his mind about him. 

 

"Make me." Taeyong challenged. 

 

This time, Yuta is the one nervous and biting his tongue. The sunlight that beams at Taeyong's skin, too, didn't help because he shines, and he looks so beautiful and he's all Yuta could see. And he wishes he wouldn't drool right in the place because that would really be stupid and he wouldn't want to embarrass himself like that in front of, as Yuta likes to call it, his crush. 

 

 

 

Regardless, Taeyong is difficult. As much as he didn't want to, it's inevitable for Yuta to not have second thoughts by the way Taeyong treats him. Yuta tries his best to please him, and even woo him and tell him sweet nothings in front of everyone that received a big question from Johnny and Hansol. Whereas Yuta isn't up for saying anything, he knows they wouldn't let him slip until he answers. But Yuta likes to think that there's no need for explanation, because Yuta does what he likes, and he likes Taeyong to go out with him. 

 

"You really like him, do you?" 

 

Yuta looks up at Ten who placed a canned coffee on the table. It's class hours and there aren't much students in the cafeteria. 

 

"Have you been sleeping?" Ten asked, sitting across him, concerned at the dark circles under Yuta's eyes.

 

"I thought you said you don't want to talk to me." Yuta stays, looking at him. 

 

"I still don't want to. But who else are you going to talk to, if not me." 

 

Sighing in relief, Yuta forced a smile and instead of the canned coffee, he took the pretzel Ten was eating making the other groan. Last week, Ten declares he doesn't want to be friends with him anymore. Which Yuta thought would be just fine because he'd had enough complaints and catechism from him. Yuta told Ten he likes Taeyong, but the other only scowled at him in disbelief and called him insane. And it's true Yuta has no one else to talk to other than him. The other day, Johnny probably had some pity in his heart and approached him, but Yuta admits rightaway that he likes Taeyong, and they stopped talking again. While it's true that he didn't expect anyone of his friends to support him on wooing Taeyong, somehow it hurts when he ends up thinking the reason behind that is, he's not good enough, for someone so perfect like Taeyong. Doyoung will laugh at him, because even to Sooyoung, Yuta was never enough. 

 

"Did you even get mad at Doyoung for me?" Yuta spits, a question that didn't require an answer but he could try. 

 

"I guess." Ten shrugs. Yuta's words didn't alarm him. "So when you realized you like Taeyong, he's the one pushing you away now?" 

 

For the moment, Yuta was stunned at the question, and hesitates whether to nod or shake his head. He'd deny it, but it's not like anyone would understand the diversity of their relationship. Although Taeyong is different when it's just the two of them together, sweet and gentle, he has several moods when he ignores Taeyong whenever he wants to, or he gets all pissy and boss Yuta around. Somehow, it was tiring, but Yuta can't complain at all; he's still guilty. 

 

When noticed that Yuta is gawking, Ten kicks him under the table. "He liked you because you're nice. If you think being a dick will help you get him, doubt so. He's probably turned off at how pestilent you became." 

 

"Nobody likes me for him, anyway." Yuta utters in an almost inaudible voice. A truth he's trying to find a lie from. 

 

There was a pity in Ten's eyes when he looked at Yuta, and asked, "Have you asked how he feels for you now? You said he told you that he loves you, didn't he? Or were you just imagining it?" 

 

It's way too funny, because Ten tried not to laugh when Yuta gaped at him. As though what Ten suggested was the revelation of the year. 

 

"Don't mind what I said. Just talk to him, sincerely. He'll listen to you, I promise." 

 

"He only listens to Doyoung." Yuta says bitterly, and hopes Ten could comprehend his jealousy. He wishes someone could understand how put out he becomes whenever they see those two together, talking, laughing and all touchy. 

 

"That's just a remark of jealousy. Besides, he's dating Jaehyun. It's their third monthsary tomorrow." Ten informs him. 

 

"Yeah, but. He likes to lie. He's shady. He probably likes Taeyong even when he's dating someone else, he's so full of--"-

 

"Honestly, Yuta. How much do you hate him." Ten interrupts, shaking his head. 

 

 

Probably because Doyoung is aware that Taeyong knew something, so he doesn't berate him regarding Yuta, for Taeyong could snap back at him so easily. Mindful of the other's behavior towards him, Taeyong decides to ask. 

 

"Do you hate me, or something?" .

 

"I don't...hate you. I just. It's just." Startled at the question, Doyoung stutters answering. And surprises Taeyong because he's at any rate collected,  and doesn't hesitate on his words. "It's just so uncalled-for, Taeyong. And he's suddenly acting like he likes you. That's just. Please, go over it again." 

 

"Actually, I'm not sure if he really likes me." Taeyong admits, because Yuta's sudden behavior of liking him is a little dubious, and he's uncertain whether to believe him or not. 

 

"It's why you're avoiding him?" Doyoung muses, watching the worried expression on Taeyong's face. The dark circles under his eyes explains how much he's thinking this over. 

 

"He could just be guilty. Or sorry. But I don't think he likes me like what he's saying. He can't be so sure, so I'm avoiding him, and telling him off, so he would change his mind." Taeyong mumbles about. A little embarrassed that he had to talk with Doyoung about this, the person he ran to the last time Yuta broke him. 

 

"Say, Taeyong. And what if he doesn't change his mind?" 

 

He didn't think Doyoung would ask him such a question, and so Taeyong ends up gaping at him, bemused. A question he has yet to think over, for its inconceivable, to think that Yuta even likes him. Although sometimes he gets a hunch, whenever Yuta kisses him, but Taeyong knows Yuta as someone who can do and say things he don't mean. 

 

Reaching out for a tissue paper, Doyoung wipes off the mayonnaise from Taeyong's lower lip. "Look at you, you're older than me and looks tougher than anyone, but aren't you a baby?" 

 

"Yuta told me the same thing." 

 

"I'd say anyone but Yuta, but....." Doyoung let's out an exasperated sigh. "Ten isn't going to tell him anything like that, anyone but Taeyong." 

 

"Why did you ask Jaehyun out and not me?" Taeyong blabbers nonsense. Like Yuta, he is the type to say things he don't mean, particularly when he's frustrated. 

 

Doyoung let's out a strangled laugh, but held it back when he saw Taeyong is about to cry. Aware of the other's distress that's instigate him to talk foolishly. "If you weren't busy sleeping with Yuta, I would've." He joked, but regrets it immediately because Taeyong starts crying. 

 

Even if he fuss over the little things, Taeyong knows he lacks at expressing his emotions when something gets serious. And Doyoung, being the receiving end and the person Taeyong always vents his anger out, probably have gotten used to him all these years. He remembers in grade school when the girl he likes ends up liking Taeil, he never kicked up a fuss about it, until Doyoung talks to him and he ends up pulling at the younger's hair. Which why he ends up crying now, too. 

 

"He's so confusing. I'm so angry." Taeyong choked a sob. 

 

"If you don't stop crying in three seconds, I'd go find him and punch him." He warns.

 

Taeyong bit his lips, burying his face on his palms. Because unlike him, Doyoung mean what he says, and do what he wants. Like two years ago when he said he'd punch Ten if he doesn't stop teasing Taeyong, and he actually did that surprises everyone. 

 

"I'm kidding." 

 

"You're becoming nice, is it because of Jaehyun?" 

 

"Keep quiet." 

 

"But...." Taeyong starts, wary about what he's going to say. But he's not the only once with troubles, and Doyoung might be thinking about it too. "Shouldn't you...apologize to Yuta too?" 

 

A bitter smile is painted on Doyoung's face and he says, "You know I've known Sooyoung even before Yuta came to Korea, right? And I liked her, a lot. We've always had something special, we talk a lot, and message each other a lot. I've liked her since we were in fifth grade. Until Yuta came in to the picture, and it seemed Yuta really liked her, that we had to keep our relationship, and I was sorry for her, too. We broke up, and I was going to tell him, but he knew it ahead." 

 

"Have you told him that?" Taeyong asked, although he had no idea about him liking her in fifth grade. Ever since middle school, him and Soyoung are always casted the main roles on the theatro in their school, they've spent so much time with each other, so it must be difficult for Doyoung to leave her too. Probably far more difficult that how Yuta felt when he found out about them. 

 

"Yuta wouldn't listen." Doyoung states. "He doesn't trust me anymore." 

 

"What about Ten? Have you told him? Maybe he can tell Yuta." Taeyong suggested. 

 

"Well, I guess it's enough that I apologized to him many times. Also, I think he doesn't want to talk to me any time soon. I'll give him a rest. The one that needs to talk to him, is you." 

 

 

 

 

"Yuta can we talk?" 

 

Taeyong feels cognizant when Yuta looks up at him, pupils dilating at the sudden approach. He should've waited for him to wake up instead of waking him. But the class is starting in two minutes so he guesses it was necessary to do so. 

 

"R--right now?" Yuta asked. 

 

Taeyong was about to say they can talk later in lunch break, but Yuta is already dragging him out of the classroom just in time when their teacher entered and calls out their names. He decides not object, and let's Yuta pull him wherever. And they stopped at the back of the school, near the pond. 

 

"Speak." Yuta encouraged him to talk. 

 

But Taeyong is too scared to begin, afraid that he might let out the wrong words that will break the two of them. That he ends up staring at Yuta, with wary eyes. 

 

"Anything but me making up with Doyoung, that's never going to happen." Yuta states very clearly, and he holds Taeyong's arm who stepped back. 

 

Taeyong sighs, because he knows. "I know. But you should know that they liked each other even before you came here." He explains, although he shouldn't be meddling with this topic. 

 

Yuta let's out a snort, and he ignores what Taeyong says and ask him, "I like you. I really do. But, do you like me too?" 

 

A gasp left Taeyong's mouth, and he can't feel his face, wondering if he heard Yuta right. Wishing he wouldn't stumble back by the immense power that was there in Yuta's words. Too inconceivable, but the materiality of his daydreams and Taeyong wouldn't want to wake up. The eager Yuta, now is giving him the time to process this, and he repeats again, 

 

"Taeyong, I like you." 

 

A final cue for his body functions to completely falter, and all Taeyong could see when he closed his eyes is Yuta. His gorgeous smiles, his, sparkling eyes, and brightest teeth. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

please look forward for their first date? >.< i'm sorry about this chapter


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